Pawtucket Red Sox Moving To Providence And People Are Losing Their Minds

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Everyone in Rhode Island is fired up right now about the Pawtucket Red Sox leaving to move to Providence. It’s like a bad Disney movie really. Pawtucket is nothing more than an overgrown Fitchburg. It’s a dumpy city whose sole identity revolves around a minor league baseball team that no one cares about. But the PawSox owner died not that long ago and his widow had to sell the team to the big bad millionaire – Red Sox co-owner Larry Lucchino. The same guy who made Fenway Park into a girl’s night out. The same guy selling bricks for $300. The same guy who thought it wise to hire Bobby Valentine. He’s captain dooshnozzle, and now he’s taking this team from Pawtucket and moving it six miles down the road to the glitz and glamour of Providence. It really is like every fell-good movie/TV show ever made.

First of all, I just wanna say that it’s a joke that the Red Sox minor league affiliate is in Rhode Island. Rhode Island is just an extension of Connecticut. It has no business even being a state. People there have no loyalty to Massachusetts and thus no loyalty to Boston. It’s riddled with Yankees fans, because for whatever reason if you have Italian lineage in your blood like so many Rhode Islanders do, you MUST become a Yankees fan.

The Red Sox minor league affiliate should’ve been in Worcester decades ago. Apparently this makes it possible for some minor league team to be located in the Woo though. There’s some rule that says MILB baseball teams can’t be within 35 miles of each other. Pawtucket is 33 miles away, while Providence is 40. So if this happens we could become the feeder town for the Florida Marlins. That should fix all of Worcester’s problems.

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The bottom line is this is literally one of the most insignificant pieces of news I’ve ever heard. The only reason I’m even writing about it is because the people of Pawtucket are losing their shit as we speak. The mayor got the ball rolling the other day:

“This will rip the heart right out of us,” said Mayor Donald R. Grebien of Pawtucket, whose grandparents and parents took him to PawSox games. “It’s really the psychological impact this will have.”

Newsflash – Pawtucket has no heart to rip out. And even if it did that’s a really stupid reason to keep them there. No one cares about the psychological impact moving six miles down the road will have on the city of Pawtucket.

The thing is he got everyone fired up on the Facebook machine:Screen Shot 2015-02-24 at 9.49.00 AM

Your first mistake was living in Pawtucket your whole life.

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Oh, they “deserve” to be served. Apparently because they exist. I guess every American city with a population of over 70,000 “deserves” a minor league baseball team.

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You don’t go to games in their current stadium. That’s why they’re leaving.

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Yea, if your aunt really is the owner of the PawSox then she basically sold out the city of Pawtucket so she could have some retirement cash. Your uncle Ben would probably be cool with that too.

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Man, this lady LOVES the PawSox. Hey lady, no one cares about minor league baseball or the “legacy” of a minor league baseball owner.

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Every day in Pawtucket is a sad day.

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Yes, that’s generally how capitalism works.

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Oh no please, not this!! Jesus H. Christ people, can we please stop with the online petitions?? Whoever came up with the idea of making websites like and is a freaking genius. Nudniks go on there and make meaningless petitions about EVERYTHING. Guess what? No one cares about your stupid online petition. I’m sure Larry Lucchino is gonna see this and say, “Hold on a second. I was gonna move to Providence, yuppify the team, sell bricks, and make a shit ton of cash….but then I saw this online petition. Deals off.”? Please for the love of God stop doing these petitions. Or keep doing them. A Top 10 petitions of the week blog could be a good topic to write about.

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You’ve been boycotting them for years. That’s why they’re leaving.

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The TD Garden is currently named after the one of the largest banks in North America. There was no debacle. They just changed the name from one bank to the next. That’s how capitalism works.

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LOL. It’s funny how some people really think life is a Disney movie. Maybe you can have a bake sale or something and invite Larry Lucchino to your house for your world famous Apple Pie. That might get him to reconsider.

Screen Shot 2015-02-24 at 10.05.22 AMSee that? That’s my whole point with Rhode Island. Not a real state. Filled with tons of Josh Cabral’s who root for the Yankees. You shouldn’t wanna watch a minor league team just because you wanna feel the nostalgia of watching a ball game. You should wanna see the future players for your MLB team – the Boston Red Sox. Rhode Island isn’t a real Red Sox state. New Hampshire is, but RI is not.

The bottom line is no one outside of Pawtucket gives a shit about the Red Sox leaving McCoy Stadium.

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6 Comment(s)
  • December 21, 2015 at 1:33 am


  • Finnish Goalie
    February 24, 2015 at 3:26 pm

    First the Dodgers left Brooklyn for the Left Coast, and now this? A sad day indeed.

  • JayC
    February 24, 2015 at 1:52 pm

    All that complaining because they proposed to move the team 6 miles away? Wow! These people live in a pretty small world, huh? I am sure the new owners are going to do what makes business sense and not make important decisions based on feelings. And if they move, they people will still go despite the dumb online petitions and incessant Facebook complaining.

    • Super Creepy Rob Lowe
      February 24, 2015 at 4:25 pm

      It takes 45 minutes to go across RI. There are no 2 points that are more than an hour away. They should be grateful they have a team at all. This is the equivalent of the 9ers moving to Santa Clara from SF, as they already did. The Lions moving from Pontiac MI to downtown Detroit, MI. The Bills moving from Orchard Park NY to downtown Buffalo, MI as they most likely will.

      Except it’s not the equivalent of any of those- it’s even less- because the distance is shorter AND its a minor league team. These people, I get theyre sad, but this outcry is pathetic. I disagree with a lot of what is said on this site but this one, seems to actually have been gotten right.

    • William McKitchen
      October 24, 2015 at 6:54 pm

      No one is mentioning that the Red Sox want Rhode Island taxpayers to pay the lions’ share for this unneeded stadium. Red Sox arrogant behavior is causing attendence to plummet.

  • Wabbitt
    February 24, 2015 at 12:46 pm

    Who knows, maybe Pawtucket can get a team in the Futures League…

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