The Internet is a magical place because it takes random stuff like blue and black dresses and makes it headline news. This week’s hot topic of course seems to be clowns. No clue why, but everyone is talking about clowns right now. They’re everywhere. Some people are saying it’s a promotion for Stephen King’s new movie, which they’ve denied. But I think we all know who is behind this clown shit – dumbass teenagers. I’m so happy Turtleboy Jr. will never be a teenager. If he does then I’m shipping him to South Korea for those years, because that’s what the Koreans do with their teenagers and they’re pretty smart.
Teenagers think this shit is funny because they can get a rise out of people and they’re kind of the center of attention. What I don’t get is all the freaking out over it. Are people not allowed to dress like clowns? I can understand if they’re jumping out from the woods and intentionally scaring people. In that case Darwinism should just be allowed to take its course. But if they’re standing on the sidewalk with a bunch of balloons, what’s the problem? By freaking out you’re giving them exactly what they want.
Check out @BestClownWatch on Twitter and you’ll see all sorts of clown sightings around Massachusetts. Let’s see what’s going on around these parts….
Have you ever been to the Auburn Mall? The place is filled with clowns. Nothing to see here.
Clowns on dirtbikes in Worcester? What else is new?
Have you ever been to Vernon Hill? Do you see what people there choose to put on for clothing when they go outside? That’s not a clown you saw. It’s a Vernon Hill muff in their natural habitat. Plus, they’re wearing $150 Rihanna shoes and living in section 8 housing. The only clowns are the politicians who allow this scenario to occur.
Alright, this is where they cross the line. If you can’t get a rise out of people by standing on the corner and holding a “free hugs” sign, then you lost. Give up and go home. To the untrained eye when it’s dark out some people don’t know the difference between an air soft gun and a real gun. Plus, shootings always seems to happen at high schools. This is just a dick move by some teenager who tried to pull of a prank but failed. Punch him on sight. He deserves it.
Nah, that’s just the junkie parade on their way to the abandoned Kraft lot on Park Ave.
If you’re a clown in the road then you get run over just like any protester who gets in the way of Turtleboy’s hippie plowing freedommobile.
If you have a black mask on, then how are you a clown?
Is this all the same guy? Look at all those clown sightings in Holden.
If you’re at the Dollar General store in Dudley and you head east when you leave, it means you’re walking towards Webster. Again, not a real clown. Just your average Websterite.
What the fuck?? First of all, I simply do not believe there was a clown holding a rifle. This Twitter handle just spits out information people send them. It turned out to be a hoax, but that wasn’t before they evacuated a dorm and put the entire campus on lockdown. If someone really saw a clown holding a rifle, wouldn’t they take a picture of it? Merrimack College is trying to get this Twitter handle taken down, which is bullshit. This is free speech. They’re reporting what people are telling them. It’s up to the individual to be able to figure out what is true and what is Internet speculation. You don’t censor people because you think the people who will be reading what they write are dumb.
OK. So what’s the problem?
College on lockdown because of clown doing what? Existing? Are colleges providing safe spaces for clowns now too?
Rainbow shirt and an afro wig? If you’re scared of that then make sure you never go to the gay pride parade.
So the clown wants to get something off the value menu. Better call the cops.
How else is the clown supposed to see in Douglas? It’s not like there’s a lot of street lights in small town USA.
It’s true. Everyone knows clowns hate hardwood floors.
And don’t go to Weymouth, because they’re EVERYWHERE in Weymouth.
Anyway, like I said, this is just a dumb thing teenagers are doing. As long as they’re not jumping out from behind your car or walking around with what appears to be a gun, then who gives a shit? If a clown tries to fuck with me while I’m jogging down the street then they get a Turtle sandwich. But if they’re standing there minding their own business then I do not need a safe space from them and neither should you.
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