Plenty Of Fish Friday: The Most Hilariously Brutal Online Dating Messages I’ve Seen This Week

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Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy: 










You’re never going to find your soulmate this way.


  1. Thots and Prayers. 



2. Creative First Date Ideas 



3. Totally Not Racist 



4. No Love For Thugs 


Got any terrible online dating experiences? Email me at!

14 Comment(s)
  • Sick of these Ratchet Fucks
    January 25, 2019 at 9:24 pm

    The one under the “Y” has possibilities. Do her once in all 3, then slap her ass and send her packing. Basically though, it’s a Pig Birch Tri- Fecta.

  • Former POF chubby chaser
    January 25, 2019 at 8:20 pm

    Id pound out that first chubby with the see thru undies, she shaves the vag, so she got that going for her. I agree with others, make this a weekly thing

  • Lick my Nutsack
    January 25, 2019 at 2:39 pm

    If these were my only dating options, I’d jerk off instead.

  • Eat my balls
    January 25, 2019 at 2:19 pm

    Holy shit POF is rachet gold! Please make this a regular thing!

  • Max
    January 25, 2019 at 1:45 pm

    Mickey Rivera and Jocelyn Goyette met on POF …

    While on their “last date” they killed Kevin Quinn.

  • The angry taint
    The angry taint
    January 25, 2019 at 1:03 pm

    would totally show a couple of them my disappearing thumbs trick. any of you ladies been airtight? also are you allergic to duct tape? you could be my next duct tape mummy living in my closet. oh hi leigha! call me?

  • Can U Get STD's From a Computer Screen
    January 25, 2019 at 12:47 pm

    My buddy hooked up on this site, and when he broke up the chick shit in his elevator.

  • Stunt Penis
    January 25, 2019 at 12:42 pm

    Profiles like these make me totally miss the online dating scene. not.

  • paranoiawilldestroyya
    January 25, 2019 at 12:11 pm

    So now you’re policing peoples dating profiles?

  • randiguy2006
    Randall Guy
    January 25, 2019 at 12:07 pm

    But TB doesn’t just make fun of people right?


    • Y
      January 25, 2019 at 12:15 pm

      Randaaallllll, STFU/GTFOH!

    • January 25, 2019 at 12:16 pm

      Hey Randall, see how I blurred people’s faces out there? Calm down bitchtits

    • The angry taint
      The angry taint
      January 25, 2019 at 1:06 pm

      christ, just cut off the 3 potatoes you have down there(no meat) and become the debbie downer you dream of being….cuck

    • murdochpatsymcreynolds
      Kevin Cullen
      January 25, 2019 at 6:45 pm

      More like Randall Gay.

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