And the sperm donor reeeeeeally loves metal bracelets. Shocker!
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Meet Lucia Agosto, the 29-year-old tuna canal that birthed the 7-year-old boy who was gallivanting around known drug dens in Lowell unsupervised and ended up getting killed by two fenced in pit bulls:
99.8% of her pics on the Facebook machine are of her, in varying states of FUBAR’edness, with some caption like #faded – there is a grand total of TWO pics of her kids, out of hundreds of herself. I think that kinda says enough. The rest are memes about being single, getting your hair pulled/being donkey punched, that kinda thing. #nailedit
Before we get too far into this, I just wanna say I am not putting down single parent households as some of you guys lamented about yesterday – I’ve done the whole single mom bit. But you and I are a different species than the Porkachu Ratchimal, it’s like apples and cantaloupes. Also wanna say that I am in no way absolving the dog owners of their hand in this. We just can’t get confirmation on exactly who owned them, and until we do, we’re gonna leave them out, because Turtleboy is all about the #FACKS
Anyway, Lucia is such a treat that even her kids’ grandma had to sue her in family court to be able to visit them. They were probably too busy running the streets while Porkachu held down the stoop on Clare Street, blunt in one hand, Newport in the other. Dontchu know she can’t be bothered going over the river and through the hood to get the kids to grandma’s?!
Because, why bother with using granny as a babysitter when you can just leave ’em alone?
She shared this gem about a month ago
don’t have to, or can’t…?
well, looks like you did it, Lucy! One won’t have to recover because he’s no longer among us, and the other… well, he’s probably toast for life because of your ineptitude as an adult.
Speaking of inept…. she’s not very discerning on who she plays bury the broomstick with either, hopping from beef bullet to sperm worm one week to the next
Here she is with her Faux-coste rockin’ “hubby” in her love shack, complete with mattress on the floor, pushed up against the wall for good measure. Who needs a headboard, amirite? Love the filthy fingerprints on the wall, too… must be from her exploits bouncing on the scrotum totems.
She also has a thing for Milli Vanilli, too, apparently.
“‘cuz you’re the one I think about most every time”
Porkachu also has a lucrative career gettin’ that paper by slinging coffee at Dunks, like every other ratchimal before her
And she enjoys ditching her kids for bone rides, like every day, with her biffles
There’s a thousand more pics just like this one, but I’m not gonna clutter this here blog up with ’em
In the most surprising turn of events, I was only able to locate ONE google trophy from 2012:
Still on that level of surprising is the fact that she has lived at the same address for more than 5 years! At least she pays her $30 subsidized monthly rent, that’s more than we can say for some of the other beefalopes we feature.
The one thing I do wanna know is, why does she have the junkie goggle mask permanently on her face?
Could she be partaking in the sweet Georgia brown? I am usually very good at spotting this type of thing, but she’s a bit on the inflated side and doesn’t have the heroin chic look going for her.
Anyway, her sperm donor isn’t much of a prize either, and it’s unsurprising that these two entwined with one another to produce a couple o’ fuck trophies. He’s since deleted himself from social media, but we got the 411 on him. He’s got quite the checkered past. The long and short of it, he’s a gang banger who pushes weapons and drugs to kids from Maine, and he’s the reason why everyone in New England hates dumps like Lowell.
He also enjoys tuning up “family members” – which we all known is likely 99.9% him punching his newest splooge receptacle in the eye.
Anyway, it’s now clear to see why this little boy lost his life. He was surrounded by people who can’t be trusted to take care of a goldfish, people who weren’t equipped to instill ground rules, a moral compass, or supervision to make sure he stayed on a good path. He was left to be a feral kid, raised by the streets. My only hope is that the remaining kid gets some kind of intervention so he doesn’t meet the same fate as his little brother… or that of the dude whose baby batter he was born of.