Previously Turtleboy Famous Panhandling Poonlips Is Back With Another Fraudulent GoFundMe, This Time Referring To Himself As “Jesus Jeff” In The Third Person While Claiming To Be Terminally Ill


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Nearly a year ago, Turtleboy wrote about this junkbox supreme oxygen thief from Leominster who has the distinction of being one of the few people in Massachusetts, if not the only, to actually be charged with stolen valor at the time of his arrest. Compliments his running list of Google trophies well.

Sentinel and EnterpriseA homeless man panhandling at Twin City Shopping Center on Thursday while holding a sign that read “Homeless Veteran, Anything Helps” was picked up by police on three outstanding warrants, but also charged with violating the state’s Stolen Valor Act, according to a department spokesman.

“While I can’t be completely certain, this may be the first person in the state charged with stolen valor,” said police Lt. Michael Ciccolini about the arrest of Jeffrey G. Alajajian, 30.

The stolen valor charge resulted from the sign Alajajian was holding while begging for money that identified him as a veteran. Ciccolini said that while Alajajian was being booked, he admitted that he wasn’t a veteran. The Stolen Valor Act was signed into law by Gov. Charlie Baker in November 2015 and established the offense as a misdemeanor punishable by at fine of up to $1,000 and one year in jail. Tougher than a similar federal statute, the state’s law makes it illegal to fake military service for financial gain.

Alajajian in the past three years has been charged with larceny over $250 and shoplifting in Leominster. In 2010, he was charged in Ayer with attempted murder for allegedly attempting to strangle his girlfriend, and in 2011 he was charged in Ayer with child abuse for allegedly injuring his girlfriend’s 22-month-old son.


What a peach. He had first caught the ire of Turtleboy for pulling a ratchet classic and putting up a fraudulent Gofundme purportedly to support his elderly and infirm cancer stricken grandmother

Who was already dead and buried. Awkward.

Well guess who’s back, and allegedly has found Jesus?




This has to be the gold standard of lead paint poisoned GoFundMe posting. Honestly. This guy is so fucking cooked he doesn’t realize the public can, in fact, see who the author is. So the entire thing is written in third person, on behalf of Jeff’s “friend”, “Jesus Jeff”. Who is, obviously, the greatest guy ever, and so totally suffering from cancer, you guys.

“I am raising money to help my friend Jeff, also known as Jesus Jeff.  In October he found out he was terminally Ill and given only 5 years to live. With no cure he was presented with the option of trying a new experimental treatment in Hope’s to save his life. It being experimental and not FDA approved his insurance will not cover it and it isnt cheap. They are $1000 a piece once a week for 3 months. That’s $12000. He then would go 6 months with no treatments, then another 3 month round of them. Jeff is currently laid off for the winter collecting unemployment barely able to afford groceries never mind these treatments.”

Seems legit. Nothing to see here, you should definitely give your hard earned money to this smackslammer


Because he snapped a picture or two on his way to a probation hearing or something, and says he has cancer. Cancer, you guys. He’s gonna die. This is serious. And Jesus Jeff really is a wonderful guy, just ask Jesus Jeff.

“Let me tell you about Jeff. He is amazing. He has overcome so much already in his life and for the past few years given his life to christ and allowed christ to use him anyway he seemed fit. He is always smiling and goes out of his way to help anyone he can. People are drawn to Jeff and ask around not one person could say something bad about him.” 

Not one person, you say?



I am not impressed, Jeff. Stop using my name.


Looks like he made it on Turtleboy again. Congrats, Jeff!

“He is very humble and an extremely hard working ,putting his all into whatever he is doing and has such an unbelievable love for jesus and life. He also has a beautiful 2 year old boy.Jeff is not one to ask for help or hand outs. But at this time he needs it the most. Whether these treatments work or not, the one person who at least deserves a chance to live out life is Jeff. So please, help my friend.  Hed give the clothes off his back for anyone, let’s do something for him.”

Yeah, Jeff, you seem pretty fucking humble all right. And so hard working. You’ve worked hard at avoiding real work for quite some time, it seems. Everybody, a round of applause for Jesus Jeff! Turtleboy’s most distinguished GoFundMe Scam of the day.

Jeff isn’t too thrilled with the reaction he’s gotten so far, but have no fear, internet. Jesus Jeff will be praying for each and every one of you, when he’s not busy counting up donation dollars and dying of cancer, that is.


Such a proud moment here. Thanks for the prayers and blatant lies, Jesus Jeff. God loves everyone. Except for you.

18 Comment(s)
  • Martin Sckreli
    January 13, 2019 at 8:37 pm

    Somebody forgot to tell Jeff that the Pharma company running the trial will pay all non-covered expenses for treatment and follow-up carein the scope of a trial protocol on an eligible patient

  • The Doctor
    January 13, 2019 at 8:07 pm

    Only God can judge. Frfr

  • Randall Guy
    January 12, 2019 at 3:40 pm

    Well, he has nice muscles and a strong jaw line.

    • Alfredo
      January 13, 2019 at 12:42 pm

      I’d do him 🙂

  • Connie Lingiss
    January 12, 2019 at 10:28 am

    Hand tattoo. Sunglasses on head. Dollar store chain worn above the shirt. Next…..

  • Y
    January 11, 2019 at 4:26 pm

    This asshole blocks anyone, myself included, who posts the TB link on his page.

  • Nigerian Prince
    January 11, 2019 at 3:56 pm

    Emails scams are so much easier and better. I just bought another condo, on Waikiki.

  • Street rat
    January 11, 2019 at 3:24 pm

    Jesus Jeff! Wtf you doin? Christ! You are a scammer!

  • Jaime
    January 11, 2019 at 3:00 pm

    I despise people who make Go Fund me accounts under false pretenses. Now because of low life losers that is something else ruined for those who REALLY need help. Although growing up we never had anything like Go Fund me, it is here and those that need it should be able to do so without a worry of bashing. That can’t happen because no one knows what is real or not. Just the same as growing up in Worcester we had the can man in our neighborhood… Now they don’t walk around looking for 5 cents at a time, they stand on the freaking off ramps begging for money!! Sad part is YES most of them are actually homeless but they only care about the drugs.
    Saying that, if Jeff is really sick maybe he has paperwork from a doctor he can also put on that 3rd person typed Go Fund me and then just maybe someone may believe him!! Weather we believe him or not because he lied saying he was a vet…….NO TREATMENT DIE A SLOW PAINFUL DEATH YOU LOW LIFE LOSER, WE HAVE LOST LOVED ONES FIGHTING OUR WARS AND YOU LIE ABOUT BEING A VET?? FUCK YOU AND YOUR TERMINAL ILLNESS, the doctor gave you 5 years to live? Where will any of us be in 5 years?

  • Let me up, I've had enough
    January 11, 2019 at 1:25 pm

    LOL. What a cocksmooch.

    • Cock smooch, interesting phenomena
      January 11, 2019 at 5:06 pm

      Cock smooch, is this when Jesus Jeff puckers his lips and gives the mushroom tip a little dual lip peck and puff? I seem to recall he did a lot of this in County at one point. This is where he found Jesus you know. He had a mouth full of the BBC and big Jabbercockie blew a wad so hard and large, I hear the damn thing nearly came exploding out his ears. Most people would think, holy fuck, I just got “Andy’d by Boggs in Shawshank,” but not good ol’ Jeff AJ. Jeff AJ saw god when that goo gravy seeped through all his brainial crevices. I guess it is worthy of a god seeing moment, I know some chicks who would demand a 5er or a 10er for the experience. Maybe this is just Jeff Ajs way of giving back, back of the head!! baawawwawawawa

      • Frank Rizzo
        January 11, 2019 at 9:02 pm

        hhhhhaaaaaaaahhhhhaaaaahhhhhaa!!!!!!!!!!! the best!!!

  • randiguy2006
    Randall Guy
    January 11, 2019 at 1:09 pm

    What are “poonlips?”

    • Fuck Randall
      January 11, 2019 at 1:14 pm

      Outer labia, Randall. It’s ok, they’re lady parts, wouldn’t expect you to know that.

      • Randall’s Pink Scooter
        January 11, 2019 at 3:37 pm

        hahaha x1000

        “Outer labia, Randall. It’s ok, they’re lady parts, wouldn’t expect you to know that.”

    • Random Gay
      January 11, 2019 at 2:12 pm

      Ick! Lady bits! More cock talk, please. AmIrite?

  • Elizabeth Warren
    January 11, 2019 at 12:54 pm

    Pretending to be something you aren’t so you can benefit from it is one of the worst things you can do as a human being.

    • Hugh-Bo Mont
      January 12, 2019 at 10:37 am

      Go get me a beer, bitch!

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