WTF

Pumpkin Spice Mafia Strikes Again – Milford Stop And Shop Is Latest Siting Of Pearl Clutching White Chicks Who Think They’re About To Be Sold Into Sex Slavery By Church People

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It happened again. This time the sex traffickers set up shop at the Stop and Shop in Milford……

So let me get this straight. A black woman comes up to you and asks you if you need some God in your life. Instead of telling her you’re all set and you’re just there to buy some overpriced produce, you instantly remember the last viral Facebook lie about sex traffickers that you blindly fell for and said to yourself, “It’s finally my turn to become an Internet victim.” Obviously this black woman was here for one reason and one reason alone – to sell you into sex slavery.

Naturally this woman asking you to join her church was extremely traumatizing, and you could barely muster the strength to contact the manager, force them to escort you to your car, and then had your cousin check underneath your vehicle to make sure the church people didn’t put an electronic tracker on your car.

Obviously you will never go to the Stop and Shop again for the rest of your life, and will inconvenience yourself over and over again because of your irrational fear of a black church lady asking you a question. Luckily she survived, but only because she previously saw on Facebook that these women were in fact sex slave traffickers. But what about people who DON’T have Facebook? How many have already been kidnapped and sold to wealthy congressmen?

I don’t care, this shit never gets old. Each one is better than the last. And of course EVERYONE in the Pumpskin Spice Mafia believes her!!

Sometimes I have to remind myself that these are actual adults. They have to put their own clothes on in the morning and find a way to survive the day. And like clockwork not one of them ever tells the OP that it’s just an annoying church lady who wants you to join her stupid church. Because that’s not nearly as much as pearl clutching and acting like you’re living in a Lifetime movie.

This post was up for 24 hours and had hundreds of shares. Then the second Clarence Woods Emerson commented on it – POOF – gone forever. It’s almost as if the Pumpkin Spice Mafia could smell turtle and realized what was about to happen.

Till next time…

19 Comment(s)
  • Fed Up
    September 23, 2018 at 6:17 pm

    Bitches have all the luck… I walked around 5 different grocery stores in assless chaps without my tightey whiteys today and not one person tried to kidnap me for good old fashioned sex slavery I even had my best ball gag in my mouth and nothing.. not one taker.. nobody even commented on my fine muffin ass, perfect beer gut or triple chin, I’m tired of this discrimination against fat hairy men.

  • z
    September 22, 2018 at 7:31 am

  • Captain Trips
    September 21, 2018 at 2:40 pm

    Jenna looks like she’s taken plenty of cock already. Sex slavery wouldn’t be much of a change for her

  • Brianne
    September 21, 2018 at 2:35 pm

    Nicki Evans has horrible spelling and grammar- not shocking though she is probably too full of cum from all of her husbands co workers she fucks and sucks for coke. She would make a good story on here.

  • Kim Jong Phat Phook
    September 21, 2018 at 1:08 pm

    You’d think a basic SJW chick would feel honored to be approached by a minority. Usually SJWs act very proud and patronizing when they get to talk to a live actual minority.

    • Fred Knessl
      September 21, 2018 at 9:55 pm

      Wait a sec… This woke person is accusing a most likely Innocent Person of Color of something nefarious and possibly Illegal?? Isn’t that kinda Racist?
      Just sayin’

  • Judge dread
    September 21, 2018 at 11:42 am

    144 likes on the original post. That’s kinda entry level for a narcissist. She should have followed up saying she is getting rape and death threats to boost that number to maybe 300. This bitch is definitely on SSRI drugs.

    She is full of shit and she knows it, that’s why she deleted the post. 10 to 1 she was raised by a single mother.

  • WeAreFucked
    September 21, 2018 at 7:49 am

    Right… best place to kidnap young white women is a grocery store filled with people and video cameras.
    Sadly, this young lady really does need to hear the word of the mother of God. She needs to hear that there are many more good people in this world verses bad.
    Stealing young girls and making them become sex slaves IS NOT A THING IN SUBURBIA. IT DOESN’T HAPPEN. Yes, maybe to runaways, druggies, prostitutes, and the homeless, but not to young girls shopping in a grocery store.
    You aren’t living in an episode of The Handmaid’s Tale.

  • Scientific Discipliner
    September 21, 2018 at 6:24 am

    “Excuse me. My name is so ans so…”

    I checked and found that “So-And-So” is a black African-Obaman name, meaning “Finder of White women for international sex slavery.” i thank gawd almighty for The Managers, though something is gnawing at my brain, telling me that they too are sex slavers! i question to ask why so many Managers?

  • Richyrich
    September 21, 2018 at 4:39 am

    Dammit, outwitted again by that friggin pumpkin spice mafia. I had this fine bitch auctioned off already to an Arab oil billionaire waiting for his pearl-draped WASP almost-virgin to be delivered to him on his massive yacht in Paris. That’s the fourth slave that got away from me in Milford this month!

  • Becky McBoreustotears
    September 21, 2018 at 12:24 am

    “A dragonfly landed on my leg…..and I learned so MUCH about myself”. – basic bitch Facebook post. All these navel gazing, gasping for attention, any attention, dial 911 to create SOMETHING TO POST twats need a face punch. I know your lives are a choking hell of vanilla boredom, but PLEASE stop thirsting for attention thru these posts. No one cares.

  • Ted Baxter
    September 21, 2018 at 12:17 am

    They asked me if I wanted to be a Jehovah’s Witness. I told them I didn’t see the accident.

    • Y
      September 21, 2018 at 12:31 am

      Keep one eye open like CBS.

    • Hughbo Mont
      September 21, 2018 at 10:30 am

      Just think what she would do if the JWs came knocking on her door? I’d pay money to see that. LOL!

  • Bitch
    September 20, 2018 at 11:11 pm

    Grow up. I darn some broads try to grab me. Own yourself you weak twit. 

    • Ted Baxter
      September 21, 2018 at 5:11 pm

      She’d have the SWAT team there. What are these well dressed people doing at my door. Sad.

  • ncfoothillbilly
    September 20, 2018 at 10:41 pm

    I want my GPS tracker back, lady.

  • CrispyC
    September 20, 2018 at 10:05 pm

    The only thing worse than the selfie-taking, look-at-me posts all day every day from these social media asshats is the dipshits that comment and like them to encourage further behavior.

  • Ooooh, that line...
    September 20, 2018 at 9:35 pm

    “It’s almost as if the Pumpkin Spice Mafia could smell turtle and realized what was about to happen.”
    Ooooh that smell
    Can’t you smell that smell
    Ooooh that smell
    The smell of turtle surrounds you!

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