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It happened again. This time the sex traffickers set up shop at the Stop and Shop in Milford……
So let me get this straight. A black woman comes up to you and asks you if you need some God in your life. Instead of telling her you’re all set and you’re just there to buy some overpriced produce, you instantly remember the last viral Facebook lie about sex traffickers that you blindly fell for and said to yourself, “It’s finally my turn to become an Internet victim.” Obviously this black woman was here for one reason and one reason alone – to sell you into sex slavery.
Naturally this woman asking you to join her church was extremely traumatizing, and you could barely muster the strength to contact the manager, force them to escort you to your car, and then had your cousin check underneath your vehicle to make sure the church people didn’t put an electronic tracker on your car.
Obviously you will never go to the Stop and Shop again for the rest of your life, and will inconvenience yourself over and over again because of your irrational fear of a black church lady asking you a question. Luckily she survived, but only because she previously saw on Facebook that these women were in fact sex slave traffickers. But what about people who DON’T have Facebook? How many have already been kidnapped and sold to wealthy congressmen?
I don’t care, this shit never gets old. Each one is better than the last. And of course EVERYONE in the Pumpskin Spice Mafia believes her!!
Sometimes I have to remind myself that these are actual adults. They have to put their own clothes on in the morning and find a way to survive the day. And like clockwork not one of them ever tells the OP that it’s just an annoying church lady who wants you to join her stupid church. Because that’s not nearly as much as pearl clutching and acting like you’re living in a Lifetime movie.
This post was up for 24 hours and had hundreds of shares. Then the second Clarence Woods Emerson commented on it – POOF – gone forever. It’s almost as if the Pumpkin Spice Mafia could smell turtle and realized what was about to happen.
Till next time…