Hoodrat Heroes

Pyramid Scheme Porkchop Attempt To Con People Out Of $2,100 For Fake Car Accident With Implausible Insurance Sob Story Backfires With Hilarious Consequences

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So a bunch of turtle riders tagged us in a post today made on the Central and Western Mass Yard Sale Exchange Facebook page:


Oh yea, this story adds up. First of all, just look at all this damage:

Apparently that costs $3,000 to fix. And we will just have to take her word for it. Does this look like the face of a woman who would try to pull a quick on on you?

Nope. Totally trustworthy.

Meanwhile my bumper looks a billion times worse than that. I have no idea how it got like that, nor do I care. As long as it drives, I’m good.

Obviously this woman is a scam artist trying to make a quick $2,100 off of gullible morons. If you go to her Facebook page and see all the pages she likes…..

They’re all yard sale pages. This is what this woman does for a living. She sells lies on Facebook to strangers.

She also claims that insurance denied the claim to repair her car, which is weird because the whole point of car insurance is that they pay for your damages when you get into an accident, even if it is your fault.

Others felt the same way and immediately began calling her out on it. But instead of running and hiding she attempted to defend her obvious scam in hilarious fashion:

You’re in your 30’s and you’re blaming your life failures on Mom? Gold digga please!!

She claims that her Mom fucked up and bought the wrong insurance for a car that was in her name, which doesn’t seem like a lie at all.

She claims the damages are pretty excessive:

Oh yea, this car definitely needs a new hood, bumper, and paint job:

It’s basically totaled.

Since she’s from East Hartford some began to question why she was begging for cash in a Massachusetts yard sale page…

Don’t worry, she’s got a good answer though….

Oh good, that clears things up. She’s asking for help in Massachusetts BECAUSE she lives in CT. It’s all adding up now.

Of course this all could’ve been cleared up if she posted the estimate she received. But apparently this hurt her feelz….

Yea guys, she didn’t pull the estimate out of her ass, she pulled it out of her grundle, and then it got sucked back into the black hole vortex that is her fupa.

Nevertheless she persisted….

Internal damage? Is your car an iPhone? Da fuq is internal damage in a car mean? And since when is a hood, a paint job, a bumper, and a headlight associated with anything internal? Last I checked those things were all on the outside of the car. Just sayin Ashblaster.

Give her a break though guys, she was seriously injured….

What about her glasses?? Think about the glasses!!!

She also has extensive job experience working with cars:

Yet she can’t fix this scratch to her front bumper, on a car that may or may not even be hers. Oh, and the fact that she worked at the DMV at one point is the least surprising thing I’ve ever seen. She is every DMV employee I’ve ever encountered. Ever.

Hey Ashley, why can’t you just pay for it yourself? After all, you are the successful owner of six different businesses:

Are you telling me the “huge Facebook event for all 6 of your companies” didn’t work out as planned?

But there were prizes!! And raffles!!

Hello? Anyone?

She’s actually started three new businesses in the last month alone!!

What could possibly go wrong?

Tell me more about these businesses that you own…..

Oh I see. She’s a pyramid scheme porkchop. This is characteristic #14 of the Facebook ratchet. Lalaroe, Beach Body, Herbalife – 99% of the people selling that crap aren’t actually selling anything and end up getting stuck with garages full of inventory they can’t get rid of. They exist for one purpose – to get blocked by friends and family on Facebook. Because all they do is post their shitty bullshit that no one wants over, and over, and over again. Like vitamins:

Why go to a doctor when you can get your health needs met by this model of health and fitness?

Anyone in the market for scented candles?

The pyramid porkchop uses them after she rains down chocolate thunder on her porcelain throne.

It wasn’t an easy decision to join the country scent candles pyramid scheme. She struggled with it, since she was already emotionally invested in the PartyLite pyramid scheme:

Wait….people you met? You shared pictures on Facebook to your friend’s list hun. You didn’t actually meet anyone. You just bothered your friends.

It’s totally not a pyramid scheme though. She just needs you to give her $1,300 and then find three more people to join her Thrive team so that they can know what it feels like to annoy everyone on their friend’s list too!!

“What if I told you,” seems like a really effective way to get people to believe that you haven’t turned your Facebook page into a walking infomercial.

And thanks to new Facebook algorithms, this is what Zuckerberg wants us to see instead of media pages. Because friendships are important!!

Not only does she need three people to join Thrive, she also needs three people to join all of her other “businesses” as well:

Come on guys, don’t be cheap!! She already missed her March goals, and was really banking on April to be the month these businesses took off!!

She’s gonna “work hard” to crush her goals! And by that she means, spam your news feed some more with junk no one wants.

Turns out the whole insurance scam thing was just a way to pity her enough to join her pyramid schemes:

But if the virtual businesses don’t take off there is always the old school tag sales…

Translation – come here and give me $100 for a bunch of shit that no one wants. Like an ancient rocking chair, or a breadmaker:

Because who doesn’t make their own bread these days?

Oh, and here’s my favorite part – a couple months back she actually called out another scammer….

Yea guy, get your scams right!! You can’t be hitting people up for Christmas cash in February. Just post a picture of a scratched bumper and make up a story about insurance companies screwing you over like a civilized human being!

Eventually she just couldn’t handle the barrage of legitimate questions from people who clearly took issue with a woman lying in order to dupe people out of their hard earned money….

Finally she decided it was time to take the GoFundMe down:

So the lesson here is simple – if you’re gonna try to scam strangers into paying you $2,100 for pyramid scheme inventory in your garage by claiming that you were in a bad car accident and can no longer be an Uber driver, come up with a better lie and at least have a picture of a car that has $3K worth of damage to it.

21 Comment(s)
  • Ashley Mendolusky
    April 18, 2018 at 1:04 pm

    insurance agent here. if you drive for Uber and dont have the ride sharing endorsement added- guess what-no coverage for the time between you clocking in to Uber and actually picking up a rider. you need to tell your agent when you use your car for, having a personal auto policy is not going to cover the fact that you use your auto for COMMERCIAL use. idiots. also if you are over 18 your mommy doesnt set up your policies, you do. also if u cause an accident that is your fault, unless you have full coverage, your policy only fixes the other vehicle you hit. thats how insurance works whether you have MS or not.

  • Dumb Cunt
    April 18, 2018 at 12:47 pm

    I just hate her. Dumb Pig. She thinks she is so smart. Get a real f’ing job. Pay your own bills. Dbag. You give women a bad name. I bet you believe in hypnosis too.

  • Art Linkletter
    April 17, 2018 at 9:15 pm

    Believe it or not that’s easily $3000 in damage. Atleast a fender, hood, headlight, grille…then needs paint. Radiator behind that is probably bent too.

  • NR
    April 17, 2018 at 6:38 pm

    Karma…yes Ashley. Karma will take care of the nasty people, which means you for your fake story blaming your poor mother with MS. And for lying. Looks like whomever she works for catches on quickly as she can’t seem to keep a job for long.

  • Hairy Clam Chowda
    April 17, 2018 at 5:52 pm

    My son needs to bulk up and gain 30 lbs for next football season. If u offered your plan of gaining so much weight I might think of it….. Or is it all “water weight”
    BTW we have enough scammers in Ma stay in your own state, its like a canteen route don’t mess with da territory

    • Hughbo Mont
      April 18, 2018 at 1:18 pm

      canteen route…. LOL good one

  • SMH
    April 17, 2018 at 5:27 pm

    I got rear-ended driving my friend’s Honda in Revere and it didn’t look like much. If it were my car, I would have just taken some cash offered by the guy and not fixed it. But, the owner was with me and wanted it fixed by the other guy’s insurance. Turned out that the repair cost $2.5k due to bent components not visible from outside. Her story though, about the insurance was indeed weak.

  • Jenny Craig
    April 17, 2018 at 5:05 pm

    We have a spring special this month. Come on down.

  • TJB
    April 17, 2018 at 4:47 pm

    What if I told you to TRY A SALAD ONCE AND A WHILE, you fucking sourdough hippo!

  • just passing thru
    April 17, 2018 at 4:35 pm

    OK kids, without “outing” myself, as what I do is a very small community, I am an insurance appraiser.

    Photo’s show crap, which is why it is illegal in MA for an insurance company to do “take pictures using our app and we’ll send you a check” thing.

    I am not commenting on the validity of her story or claim, but until a car is taken apart, it is all a guess.

    Lets assume the car needs a bumper cover, absorber, and reinforcement, maybe some damage to the fender and core support, and the headlight is damaged. It does not take a lot to rack up 2K in damages, especially with some of these Xenon and HID lights running over 2 grand each.

    You look at it and say ” oh it doesn’t look bad”, I look at it and see it based on 40 years fixing cars, 20+ as a shop principle, and the last 6 working for different insurance companies as an independent appraiser
    Could there be 2K in damage? Yes, but probably a little less.
    Is it her fault for not properly choosing coverage… yes

    are these GoFundMe campaigns getting out of hand? You bet your ass they are. There is no more personal responsibility, everyone just runs to the internet and demands money.

    I did drop 20 bucks into TB’s tip jar via PaPal as I consider BS a worthy recipient considering the entertainment value I get from the various Turtles. It sure beats having them erect a pay wall.

    • Too Tall Tim
      Too Tall Tim
      April 19, 2018 at 5:36 pm

      Like the rear bumper of my mom’s car. It looked like the other car simply knocked off the bumper cover, but there was also a damaged absorber, bent bracket, and the taillight was cracked, not by direct hit from other car but the mom’s own bumper cover. A matching taillight couldn’t be found so both were replaced. Mom now has amber rear turn signals instead of red.

      • Too Tall Tim
        Too Tall Tim
        April 19, 2018 at 5:39 pm

        Oh, and it came to around $1800.00

  • Turtleboy isn’t always right!
    April 17, 2018 at 2:34 pm

    Turtleboy I love u all but your wrong! Insurance don’t always pay if u hit your car and have basic insurance they won’t pay unless it was the other persons fault! So u all are in correct

    • Real_Finn
      April 17, 2018 at 3:44 pm

      Shut up Ashley,

      Stop begging for money, stop blaming your mom for your shitty lack of responsibilities, and pay to fix your own fucking car. WALK TO WORK.

      Also, stay out of MA with your scams – we have plenty of them here.

      Lastly, whining doesn’t suit you – you’re annoying as fuck. Nor do the ridiculous sparkly frames you put around your face — you look silly and not at all attractive. #crankymood

      Get Fucked,

      • Duh
        April 17, 2018 at 10:45 pm

        The whole point of insurance is that it will pay, fault or not. Just expect premiums to go up. 

        • No duh
          April 18, 2018 at 12:08 pm

          Only if you carry comprehensive/collision coverage. If you just purchase compulsory coverage (the bare minimum required by law) you are only covered for damaging other people’s property… you know, the stuff you could be sued for because you are at fault. Damage to your own property is not covered if you are at fault.

  • deflateddoritodinks
    April 17, 2018 at 2:33 pm

    I think her mother “forgot” to get collision coverage. LOL!

    • Fatty McPyramid
      April 17, 2018 at 5:35 pm

      Cause basic liability is ALOT cheaper… And like I’m ever gonna be at fault…

  • Buford T. J.
    April 17, 2018 at 2:02 pm

    What a tick turd!

  • Rick Shaw
    Rick Shaw
    April 17, 2018 at 1:39 pm

    This massive bag of cellulite was selling health products? that’s like Hitler selling train tickets.

  • This article is amazing!!!
    April 17, 2018 at 1:38 pm

    Anyone who overused the word “amazing” is permanently relegated to moron status.

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