Want to have your business advert seen by over 500,000 people per month? Email us at Turtleboysports@gmail.com for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.

Follow us on Twitter and like us on Facebook

The Rachel Dolezal story is the gift that keeps on giving. She truly is fascinating. And I’m not gonna lie, I respect the hell out of this woman. Not necessarily for the nonsense she’s been preaching while pretending to be black. No, I respect her for exposing so many inconsistencies in our society and sticking to her guns.

For instance, in her interview with the Today Show, she easily could’ve said she was sorry and came up with some bullshit excuse. But fuck that. She went down swinging.

“I identify as black. … I was drawing self-portraits with the brown crayon instead of the peach crayon, and black curly hair. I’m transracial.”

Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. Is transracial a word? Nope. But who gives a shit? I mean, everyone else is literally making this stuff up as we go along, so why not her? This was her only card people!! She’s not dumb. As you can see, she CLEARLY believes she is a black soul trapped in the body of a white oppressor. She realized that at a young age and she took the only action a five year old white girl from Montana could make – she started using the brown crayon. Solidarity!!

Some people were trying to say that there is a difference between what she did and what Bruce Jenner did. I will admit that if she ADMITS that the whole thing was a scam and she was LYING the entire time, then the two aren’t as comparable as one of our blogger’s initially thought.

But she didn’t do that because she realized that all she has to do is say she has always “identified” as black, and there’s literally nothing that hippies can do to stop her. Prove that she doesn’t. You can’t. Because this WHOLE THING is based on the honor system.

And quite frankly, anyone who thinks Bruce Jenner is a woman, but Rachel Dolezal is a white woman, is a fraud. You can’t possibly argue otherwise. You ARE whatever you claim to identify as. We have no choice but to take your word for it. Take it or leave it. You can’t just accept that when it’s the cool thing to accept. You have to be consistent or else you’re a fraud. Rachel Dolezal knew this and she put forced them into a corner. You go girlfriend!!

She also blew the door off a couple of other myths too. First, the Circlejerk’s myth that black kids can only learn from black teachers. Last week a 14 year old daughter of a known Worcester hippie, came out and said that she needed black teachers in order for her to feel like she had a place to go to when she her white teachers said racist things to her. If Rachel Dolezal was a teacher at North this girl would’ve gone to her, despite the fact that she was a white woman in disguise. She taught African-American history to black students and she did it well. Hippie theory officially debunked by Rachel Dolezal.

But by far the biggest power move in Rachel Doleza’s prolific career as a black woman was her now uncovered speech at the Baltimore riots:

Wow. That took a lot of minerals right there. But seriously, how was her voice not a dead giveaway? Ummmmm, that sounds like every white girl I’ve ever met ever. That and the fact that she looks like the seat covers in Grandpa’s Buick.

But then again, her protester swag was undeniable. Not only did she speak, she went out of her way to introduce herself and make herself the center of attention. That’s freaking BALLSY right there. Like when the cowardly lion dressed up as a guard in order to yell at the Wizard of Oz.

And when you think about it, this was her best move. I mean, as soon as she says, “I’m the president of the Spokane NAACP and we’ve been doing good work for the cause in Alaska” the whole thing becomes believable. How many of these dudes do you think have ever been to Alaska? None. So she knows that they’e probably falling for it because it’s entirely believable that this is what the five black people in Alaska actually look like.

Keep living the dream Rachel Dolezal.

Want to have your business advert seen by over 500,000 people per month? Email us at Turtleboysports@gmail.com for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.

Follow us on Twitter and like us on Facebook