Ratchet Madness 1 Seed Kylie Kirkpatrick Is Living With Son And Delivering Groceries For Instacart While Out On Recognizance Despite Extra Felony Charge For Child Abuse 


It’s been two weeks since California con-artist ratchet Mom Kylie Kirkpatrick was arrested by the Napa Police and charged with 7 felonies. I have four updates, some of which I’ve discussed on live show, and some that I have not:

  1. Kylie was charged with an 8th felony for child abuse, so God knows what the cops found when they raided her house
  2. Kylie’s $100K bail meant absolutely nothing thanks to California’s AB 109, which amongst other things allows “non-violent” criminals like Kylie Kirkpatrick to be released on recognizance, no matter how high the bail is
  3. Despite the felony charge of child abuse Kylie was reunited with her son Ryan just days after her release
  4. Kylie is now delivering food for Instacart

And you guys thought Massachusetts was bad.

This convicted criminal (how quickly we forget that Kylie served time in prison for a variety of charges) is now being trusted with people’s names, addresses, phone numbers, and whatever other information you have to give them to deliver your groceries during a pandemic. Apparently just like the Napa Valley Register, Bernie Sanders, Kamala Harris, and the Oakland Raiders, Instacart doesn’t do background searches either. Multiple people have tried reaching out to Instacart with their concern but haven’t had success getting through because they’re likely very busy these days.

But yea, this is what politicians mean when they use buzzwords like “criminal justice reform.” It’s really just code for “let all the assholes like Kylie Kirkpatrick out of jail and pat ourselves on the back for being progressive.” Never forget…..


Please consider supporting local journalism by donating to the Turtle fund:

Follow us on Youtube, SoundCloud, Twitter, and Facebook.

Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy: 


26 Comment(s)
  • NotKylie
    April 13, 2020 at 12:18 am

    Wonder if her bail requirements is to stay away from the kid in the child abuse charges? I hope this nasty Std of a human learned her lesson. When you are a dishonest piece of shit and your community sees right through your mange infested brain when karma comes for you we rolled out the red carpet. Her name comes up as community gossip a lot BUTT I’ve never ever heard anything nice about her. When you are such a frothy discharge on life, karma came for her with all kinds of misdemeanor and felonious charges, couldn’t happen to a better person!

  • One douche to another
    April 8, 2020 at 5:15 pm

    I would fuck him rite in goat ass that little cum guzzler. For an extra buck mom can watch that fat cunt

  • Andrea Grocer
    April 8, 2020 at 10:53 am

    How come I am not in any of the brackets??!! I dropped a shit pile 8 different times in one guys parking lot! C’mon now…this has got to rate!!

  • Cbrass28
    April 8, 2020 at 10:46 am

    And unfortunately I don’t know where you get your information but instacart actually does run a background check so I don’t know how she was hired if she has a supposed criminal record

    • Cbrass28
      April 8, 2020 at 11:05 am

      So instacart should be next on your list if they are sending people like her to deliver groceries at our houses

  • Truth
    April 8, 2020 at 9:04 am

    The communist take over of America is complete. We’re never going back to work, folks. They’re starving us to save the planet. They couldn’t risk Trump winning re-election so they took advantage of this virus to complete their quest. We had been creeping for decades towards this goal. COVID 19 pushed over the finish line. It was fun while it lasted. See you all on the other side.

  • Cheddah
    April 8, 2020 at 8:53 am

    I’d say there’s a good chance this poor kid grows up to be a spitting image of Josh Abrams..

  • Flock of Assholes
    April 7, 2020 at 9:39 pm

    Do you really want to hurt me?

    • Flock Of Seagulls
      April 7, 2020 at 10:45 pm


  • Child Abuse
    April 7, 2020 at 9:11 pm

    She pimps out her faggot son for internet fame. Fuck California.

  • Judge dread
    April 7, 2020 at 8:32 pm

    Gavin from CA looks like a date rapist and it looks like he should be on law and order: SVU

  • Mile High Club Gold Member
    April 7, 2020 at 8:29 pm

    This is why when I fly. I always download plenty of Netflix. Bring a book and never take off my headphones (no earbuds). So I don’t end up having to talk or engage with a nut job like this

  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    April 7, 2020 at 7:26 pm

    She’s a leftist. She won’t go to jail. If she were a Trumper, she’d be in fucking Sing-Sing by now

    • Pfft
      April 7, 2020 at 10:25 pm

      Sorry Cap, but sing sing is in NY. This loathsome piece of shit is in CA. In my humble opinion she should be catapulted straight into the Pacific. Safe to assume that thing can not swim. Could you imagine the splash? Tsunami.

      • whale watcher
        April 8, 2020 at 9:52 am

        blubber floats. Sorry cap.

  • jobrienxxx176
    Sign What ?
    April 7, 2020 at 6:35 pm

    I was sure she was going to get a job doing sign language for one of the many government officials giving pressers. She’s properly schooled and qualified, right ?

  • Ibeeta
    April 7, 2020 at 4:39 pm

    I’m confused. So she’s not convicted of anything yet, not saying she won’t be, but you’re upset she’s employed by one of the only jobs available right now. Arguably one her existence doesn’t affect their customers but you’d rather her be unemployed and living off the state. Not disagreeing with you that she should be in jail either but you’re posing a no win scenario here.

    • Sparkey McMurphy
      Sparkey McMurphy
      April 7, 2020 at 5:32 pm

      Wrong. She’s been convicted of multiple things, and most include theft and fraud.

  • Fuck everybody
    April 7, 2020 at 4:19 pm

    Nonviolent mom, eh? I wonder how they proved that. It would be such a joy-boner for me if all those cocksucking news agencies and blue checkmarks would be forced to come out and admit they supported a piece of shit scam artist and monster like Kylie. Too bad it will never happen. Only people who don’t fit the status quo have to apologize and admit guilt.

  • Crispy C
    April 7, 2020 at 4:13 pm

    Yay Democrats!

    I still think this kid will be sucking dick out of a highway rest stop gloryhole by the time he is 16 to fund whatever drugs he will undoubtedly be into. Odds are heroin IMO.

  • Flock Of Seagulls
    April 7, 2020 at 3:53 pm

    That fucking haircut!!!!!

    • SassySwede
      April 7, 2020 at 4:08 pm

      If you look at the plane pic, seems to be crimemom has the same cut only longer. Maybe they’re both suffering from Miley-crisis syndrome. She’s gonna be a favorite of both the cell block and Bubba if she ever serves her time.

  • The Spic Tormentor
    Spic Tormentor
    April 7, 2020 at 3:36 pm

    Letting your son get a faggot haircut like that should be enough for a child abuse charge.

    • Eric Wunschel
      April 7, 2020 at 3:43 pm

      It must get misgendered a lot

      • The Spic Tormentor
        Spic Tormentor
        April 7, 2020 at 3:54 pm

        Impossible. Gender is a social construct.

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    April 7, 2020 at 3:17 pm

    Founder of the nationally recognized anti-lunch shaming movement and now delivering groceries to the infirmed. Kylie truly is an angel. We need more like her.

Comment on this Post


This Truck Driver Was Really, Really Pissed About The 65 Car Accident Pile Up On 290 In Worcester.
Chinese Guy Jumps Seven Floors To His Death To Get Out Of Shopping With Girlfriend
South African Dude Who Pretended To Sign Language Obama’s Nelson Mandela Speech Is Apparently An Insane Murdering Rapist?