Some local Providence ratchets got into a must see fight that’s gone viral on World Star Hip Hop.
Jumpin Joe Petty is always bragging about how Worcester is a safe city compared to other New England cities. As if the fact that we’re not Lawrence should make us feel better about a summer of shootings and addicts getting their fix in broad daylight. Well one of those cities that is filled with grime is the lovely town of Providence, Rhode Island. I hear people all the time saying how Worcester should be more like Providence. Newsflash – Providence is more than just the water fires and Dave and Busters. Sure, the downtown looks nice, as it will when the mafia runs your city. But outside of it Providence is a third world country, and this video of some local ratchets fighting on World Star Hip Hop confirms that:
The best part about that fight is that no one got arrested until it went viral and the cops were able to identify the guy with the sword and the guy who kicked the shit out of him. #NoSnitching.
If you’re at work right now and you’re unable to watch World Star Hip Hop, allow Turtleboy to give you the play by play. First this magnificent ratchet woman, who dresses like every woman I’ve ever seen at the Route 146 Walmart, came out of her luxury Providence Apartment, accompanied by what I assume is the guy who is nailing her this week. Naturally he brought a samurai sword with him:
Because why wouldn’t he own a samurai sword?
She was apparently none too pleased that all these street toughs were revving their motorcycles and causing all types of noise, because obviously she was reading James Joyce and didn’t want to be disturbed. Well, negotiations clearly weren’t working, and at one point the clearly mentally stable man with the machete starts hitting himself in the face in an attempt to get fired up for the inevitable fight.
Honestly though, I was more scared when Big Momma had the sword.
Because that lady wasn’t there to fuck around. The outfits for the confrontation were glorious. I notice Samurai Samson has gone with the jorts and no shirt combination, which is always in season during Providence Septembers. And Big Momma has elected to wear the tightest shirt possible, because clearly she’s in some great shape since she’s training for a half marathon.
It goes so well with the pajama pants and Walmart brand high tops.
The only reasonable person in this video was the old Latina grandmother who vainly attempted to act as a peacemaker.
But Big Momma and the Samurai Samson didn’t understand a word she was saying, and even if they did, there was no way an elderly woman who prays the rosary every day was gonna stop two ratchets on a mission.
After two minutes whoever was taping the video got punched in the face for being the world’s biggest asshole. I mean, what kind of savage videotapes with a phone vertically? It’s 2015 people. Are we ever gonna learn? Right when the new camera man takes over all hell breaks loose. Big Momma gets the party started by going right after one of the Boriquas. Then out of nowhere comes Samurai Sam with the cheap shot on a guy who probably outweighs him by 80 pounds.
Oh good, a baby carriage. That child is obviously in good hands.
Anyway, I don’t know what Big Momma and Samurai Sam were thinking. They were clearly outnumbered since no one likes them. She started getting her ass kicked, and naturally a three year old boy stood there and watched the whole thing.
It was a big mistake for Samurai Sam to go after that other guy, because he quickly started getting jumped, while Big Momma was taking her poundings in the background.
Once they got him on the ground, the big guy he initially attacked came on by and gave him a devastating Providence kick to the face.
Boom. Right in the kisser. The result? A bunch of blood curdling screams from the half a dozen children whose parents are letting them watch this, Big Momma getting her shirt pulled over her head, and I’m pretty sure Samurai Sam is legally dead in 47 states. This picture speaks a thousand words.
This is the most Providence thing I’ve ever seen.
Luckily some of the guys who kicked the shit out of him went over to make sure he was OK. LOL, just kidding. They went up to him, took pictures, and mocked him for getting knocked the fuck out.
Meanwhile the cameraman has apparently tagged up with the other cameraman and we go back to vertical mode. Big Momma was having a tough time, but initially it was just the women kicking the shit out of her. However, Turtleboy noticed the dude in the navy blue t shirt getting in a cheap shot to the face,
and then quickly walking away
Meanwhile, look at those sweet, glorious rolls.
And no World Star Hip Hop video would be complete without someone walking up to a corpse and yelling, “You got knocked the fuck out.”
Look, I like Worcester. It’s always been a better city than Providence. But that’s why it’s important that we keep it that way. If you let the scumbags take over then Worcester starts making it onto World Star Hip Hop. And when that happens it’s really, really bad for property value. Don’t let Worcester become Providence. Vote for Mike Gaffney.