WTF

Ratchet Providence Couple With Samurai Sword Gets Destroyed In Viral World Star Hip Hop Video

Some local Providence ratchets got into a must see fight that’s gone viral on World Star Hip Hop. 

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Jumpin Joe Petty is always bragging about how Worcester is a safe city compared to other New England cities. As if the fact that we’re not Lawrence should make us feel better about a summer of shootings and addicts getting their fix in broad daylight. Well one of those cities that is filled with grime is the lovely town of Providence, Rhode Island. I hear people all the time saying how Worcester should be more like Providence. Newsflash – Providence is more than just the water fires and Dave and Busters. Sure, the downtown looks nice, as it will when the mafia runs your city. But outside of it Providence is a third world country, and this video of some local ratchets fighting on World Star Hip Hop confirms that:

The best part about that fight is that no one got arrested until it went viral and the cops were able to identify the guy with the sword and the guy who kicked the shit out of him. #NoSnitching.

If you’re at work right now and you’re unable to watch World Star Hip Hop, allow Turtleboy to give you the play by play. First this magnificent ratchet woman, who dresses like every woman I’ve ever seen at the Route 146 Walmart, came out of her luxury Providence Apartment, accompanied by what I assume is the guy who is nailing her this week. Naturally he brought a samurai sword with him:

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Because why wouldn’t he own a samurai sword?

She was apparently none too pleased that all these street toughs were revving their motorcycles and causing all types of noise, because obviously she was reading James Joyce and didn’t want to be disturbed. Well, negotiations clearly weren’t working, and at one point the clearly mentally stable man with the machete starts hitting himself in the face in an attempt to get fired up for the inevitable fight.

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Honestly though, I was more scared when Big Momma had the sword.

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Because that lady wasn’t there to fuck around. The outfits for the confrontation were glorious. I notice Samurai Samson has gone with the jorts and no shirt combination, which is always in season during Providence Septembers. And Big Momma has elected to wear the tightest shirt possible, because clearly she’s in some great shape since she’s training for a half marathon.

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It goes so well with the pajama pants and Walmart brand high tops.

The only reasonable person in this video was the old Latina grandmother who vainly attempted to act as a peacemaker.

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But Big Momma and the Samurai Samson didn’t understand a word she was saying, and even if they did, there was no way an elderly woman who prays the rosary every day was gonna stop two ratchets on a mission.

After two minutes whoever was taping the video got punched in the face for being the world’s biggest asshole. I mean, what kind of savage videotapes with a phone vertically? It’s 2015 people. Are we ever gonna learn? Right when the new camera man takes over all hell breaks loose. Big Momma gets the party started by going right after one of the Boriquas. Then out of nowhere comes Samurai Sam with the cheap shot on a guy who probably outweighs him by 80 pounds.

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Oh good, a baby carriage. That child is obviously in good hands.

 

Anyway, I don’t know what Big Momma and Samurai Sam were thinking. They were clearly outnumbered since no one likes them. She started getting her ass kicked, and naturally a three year old boy stood there and watched the whole thing.

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Because…Providence.

It was a big mistake for Samurai Sam to go after that other guy, because he quickly started getting jumped, while Big Momma was taking her poundings in the background.

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Once they got him on the ground, the big guy he initially attacked came on by and gave him a devastating Providence kick to the face.

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Boom. Right in the kisser. The result? A bunch of blood curdling screams from the half a dozen children whose parents are letting them watch this, Big Momma getting her shirt pulled over her head, and I’m pretty sure Samurai Sam is legally dead in 47 states. This picture speaks a thousand words.

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This is the most Providence thing I’ve ever seen.

Luckily some of the guys who kicked the shit out of him went over to make sure he was OK. LOL, just kidding. They went up to him, took pictures, and mocked him for getting knocked the fuck out.

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Meanwhile the cameraman has apparently tagged up with the other cameraman and we go back to vertical mode. Big Momma was having a tough time, but initially it was just the women kicking the shit out of her. However, Turtleboy noticed the dude in the navy blue t shirt getting in a cheap shot to the face,

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and then quickly walking away

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Meanwhile, look at those sweet, glorious rolls.

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Hot.

And no World Star Hip Hop video would be complete without someone walking up to a corpse and yelling, “You got knocked the fuck out.”

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Look, I like Worcester. It’s always been a better city than Providence. But that’s why it’s important that we keep it that way. If you let the scumbags take over then Worcester starts making it onto World Star Hip Hop. And when that happens it’s really, really bad for property value. Don’t let Worcester become Providence. Vote for Mike Gaffney.

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15 Comment(s)
  • Kevins 9 Iron
    Frank Lee
    September 25, 2015 at 2:13 pm

    “Yo messin’ with the wrong dog nigga!”

    “you know what I do for a living”

    just priceless.

  • Publius
    September 25, 2015 at 1:30 pm

    This video highlights Sen. Warren and Mayor Joe Petty vision for America.

  • Nanny
    September 25, 2015 at 1:01 pm

    Providence: the Mos Eisley Spaceport of New England. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.

  • Court
    September 25, 2015 at 11:59 am

    Annnnd people wonder why the youth of our society are so fucked up. They don’t have a chance with these gutter slug ‘parents’ … Ducking disgusting and embarrassing

  • wtatnuckgangsta
    September 25, 2015 at 10:38 am

    My favorite part was that after I watched the video an option for that old Aaliyah “If your Girl Only Knew” video came up. So, I played that while reading the rest of the article to get the right vibe going. I have a masochistic nostalgia for the Woo wigga fights of junior high and early high school at the mall.

  • Dave P
    September 25, 2015 at 10:22 am

    Someone should build a time machine and send this video to Lyndon Johnson.

    • Yes
      September 25, 2015 at 2:40 pm

      Hahahahahhahahahahahahah

  • strata
    September 25, 2015 at 7:59 am

    Thank your local Democrats and liberals for what this country has become.

  • Sad
    September 25, 2015 at 7:45 am

    The kids screaming in the background makes me so sad. I feel awful for them.

  • RJ
    September 25, 2015 at 6:01 am

    I thought smoking crack was supposed to make you skinny

    • JR
      September 25, 2015 at 7:02 am

      She isn’t smoking crack does make you skinny. But she’s smoking black, daddy issues never make you skinny

  • Wtf
    September 25, 2015 at 4:25 am

    I’ve lived in Worcester my whole life and frankly – I can’t wait to get out (of MA – not just Worcester)
    That’s being said – I spent 5 years working in providence for a utility company and that place is the biggest shithole there is. Much worse than Worcester. Disgusting and dangerous in every corner. Except of course for that pretty little hipster douchebag downtown area that everyone can see from 95 and makes people that don’t know better say ‘providence is so much better than Worcester’

    Take a drive down Broad St, Potters Ave or even continue on Atwells Ave past the restaurants and tell me Providence is nice. I dare you. The hood in this video is how 90% of providence is.

    • wtatnuckgangsta
      September 25, 2015 at 10:46 am

      I’ve left Woo 3 times. I’m not there right now but I keep coming back out of some disturbing homesickness. That place gets in your head – Mass as whole. I don’t get it but we love the humorous cynicism or something. I did just cancel my visit home for this month though, so maybe I’m getting better. It only took a decade since the first exit. Good luck. You can take the girl out of Woo but you can’t take the Woo out of the girl (and that royally sucks ass).

      • wtf
        September 25, 2015 at 12:44 pm

        I hear ya.

        A few more years…my kid will have a license, a car and be done with those wonderful Worcester public schools – and it’s goodbye MA hello NH for me.

        …going to live like Walter White did for a month. (Minus the meth and chemo)

      • Melissa
        October 19, 2015 at 1:25 pm

        You said it. WTATNUCKGANSTA- no matter how long I was away from woosta I couldn’t leave my attitude created by growing up there. I spent over ten years in Maine but was homesick for my hometown. Shortly after moving back I realized that my crazy attitude and personality was definitely a product of growing up there and after a very short time I couldn’t remember why I had ever been homesick for this crazy town.

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