Sports

Ravens And Colts Say The Patriots “Get Away With Murder” And Tom Brady Should Stay Suspended, Because They Don’t Understand What Irony Is

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Remember Deflategate? Yea, that’s still a thing. Somehow it’s been almost six months since this happened:

malcolm-butler-intercepts-russell-wilson-super-bowl

Still gets me aroused like nothing else can. But Tom Brady is still fighting the most unjust, arbitrary, and capricious punishment in history, despite the fact that training camp starts Wednesday. If the NFL weren’t run by an incompetent communist named Roger Goodell then this would’ve been reversed a long time ago. But the problem is that Goodell works at the behest of the team’s owners. And take a wild guess which two teams are the most adamant opponents of a suspension reduction.

If you guessed the Ravens and the Colts – the two most classless, butthurt organizations in the NFL, then you get nothing. Because it was too obvious. Here’s a direct quote from ESPN’s Sal Palantonio:

[By reducing the suspension] you’re angering some of the hard-core owners out there. I know who they are and I’m gonna name ‘em right now: Jim Irsay of the Colts. Steve Bisciotti of the Ravens and others in the AFC who believe the Patriots have gotten away with murder for years and have not been publicly punished properly.

Of course it’s the Colts and the Ravens. Two organizations that the Patriots have repeatedly crushed the dreams of in our 15 years of unprecedented dominance. The irony of these two criminal enterprises being morally outraged about ANYTHING is not lost on Turtleboy.

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Here’s a quick rundown of all the ways each of these shitty, low-class organizations have done over the years:

Indianapolis Colts

  • Purposely lost 14 games in a row in 2011, before magically winning two games at the end of the season after they had clinched the top overall draft pick, and ensured the draft rights to Andrew Luck.
  • Set up a sting operation to prove that the Patriots balls had less PSI than their’s did. Since they knew the balls would be measured and the Patriots didn’t, there’s were magically regulation size. Not coincidentally it was Andrew Luck’s worst game of the season.
  • Literally packed up and abandoned Baltimore in the middle of the night on March 29, 1984, because Jim Irsay’s dad was too gutless to tell the fans he was moving the team to Indianapolis.
  • Jim Irsay believes the Patriots have gotten away with something? LOL. This coming from the Colts owner who never spent a night in prison despite being arrested for intoxicated driving and possession of a shitload of drugs. Oh yea, and he had $29,000 in cash on him, more than likely because he’s a drug dealer.
  • Jim Irsay is mad that the Patriots “got away with murder.” Which is pretty funny because he might’ve murdered his mistress Kimberly Wundrum. After all, they did find her dead body in a house that Irsay illegally purchased with money that belonged to the Colts.

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Baltimore Ravens

It’s also funny that Steve Bisciotti has the minerals to say the Patriots got away with murder, because the Ravens won two Super Bowls because Ray Lewis literally got away with two murders. Baltimore is nothing more than a rehabilitation clinic for criminals. Here’s a list of the many Ravens who have been arrested for serious crimes.

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And here are some of their many crimes, along with the many times they cheated:

  • Terrell Suggs – charged with felony aggravated assault, not once but twice (2003 and 2009) including beating the shit out of his wife
  • Leon Searcy – kicked the shit out of his wife in 2001
  • Ray Rice – knocked his fiance unconscious and the Ravens and their garbage fans welcomed him with a standing ovation at training camp, before the infamous knockout punch video was released.

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  • Haloti Ngata – never beat any women, but was suspended four games in 2014 for taking steroids. Because when you own the Baltimore Ravens, only certain types of “cheating” offends your delicate sensibilities.
  • Ray Lewis – probably killed someone back in 2000, but got away with it because the infamous white suit he was wearing that night mysteriously disappeared. Rae Carruth should’ve taken notes.
  • Joe Flacco forgot he was miked up during Super Bowl XXXVIII and told two of his teammates to illegally tackle the 49ers Ted Ginn Jr. from the sidelines if he looked like he was going to score a game winning touchdown.
  • Terrell Suggs – admitted that his team had a bounty system in place in 2008 – the same type of scandal that forced Saints Coach Sean Payton to miss an entire season.
  • Former Ravens QB Jeff Blake admitted that he played with deflated balls throughout his entire tenure in Baltimore.

These are the two organizations that are claiming that Tom Brady  has “gotten away with murder for years” because he may or may not have had a general awareness that the balls he was throwing had less than 12.5 PSI. And because these two butthurt losers and their fantastic friends are the ones in charge of hiring and firing Roger Goodell, it’s basically impossible to get justice for TB outside of federal court.

Tom Brady and Turtleboy are kindred spirits. Both of us are Patriots and both of us are oppressed by butthurt losers who can’t stand the fact that all we do is win. Sounds like it’s time to buy a T-shirt:

Free Tom Brady

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13 Comment(s)
  • September 3, 2015 at 6:28 pm

    Fuck you patriots fans fucking douchebags

  • September 3, 2015 at 6:26 pm

    All patriots fans are stupid fuckheads fuck you fuck brady and fuck the nfl

  • September 3, 2015 at 6:24 pm

    This article is bullshit and turtleboy needs his ass kicked over and over flacco never did that and irsays dad moved the colts. Brady has stolen 3superbowls cheated in every afc championship hes been in, that piece of shit is lower than garbage. Sore loser nope honest yes, brady is overrated anyway pats cheated against ravens before deflategate then cheated against colts brady is the gene simmons of football a real piece of shit a total turd

  • BobnMic
    July 29, 2015 at 11:34 pm

    *sofa couch woops

  • BobnMic
    July 29, 2015 at 11:32 pm

    Man I could watch that Malcom Butler interception all day long……!

    I broke a spring in my coach.

  • GoneWest
    July 27, 2015 at 11:55 am

    Froom 500k people to 800k people per month. How you like us now?

  • Kevins 9 Iron
    Frank Lee
    July 27, 2015 at 11:19 am

    so what was the penalty for the Dolts piping in crowd noise because their pitiful fans can’t make enough?

  • Nanny
    July 27, 2015 at 6:14 am

    More sour grapes from the class of the NFL.

  • Sissy Hankshaw
    July 26, 2015 at 9:27 pm

    I just watched that GIF for like 10 minutes straight….need a cigarette now.

  • J
    July 26, 2015 at 5:35 pm

    Uhh Jeff Blake only played at Baltimore for one year, but that’s pretty irrelevant since every QB does it…Jeff Blake was damn good too

  • RJ
    July 26, 2015 at 10:43 am

    Don’t forget Marvin Harrison shooting up a Philly street outside the bar he owns and the bullets being traced to his extremely rare antique handgun…and no charges being filed.

  • Goodelsucks
    July 26, 2015 at 7:38 am

    Might want to include the Colts blowing a regular season game so they could face the Jets in the playoffs.

  • eric
    July 26, 2015 at 12:37 am

    The saints head coach was Sean Payton that was suspended for the bounties.

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