Red Sox Nudnik Fans On The Field Are A Metaphor For This Abortion Of A Season

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The Boston Red Sox are the biggest abortion of a baseball team that I have ever seen. Every day it becomes more and more obvious that 2013 was a fluke. They currently sit at 27-37, which is good for last place in the WORST division in baseball. And it’s not just the fact that they have 37 losses, it’s HOW they are losing. They have the worst run differential in baseball. They have no hopes, no prospects, and nothing to trade. Just poop. That’s all they are. So I guess we’ve become THAT team, who is only worth watching when some jagoff runs on the field. Like last night when these two bros taped themselves running onto the Fenway:



It’s always been my dream to run onto the field. But Mrs. Turtleboy says I can’t, and you don’t wanna face the wrath of Mrs. Turtleboy. However, if I did, I think I could do a better job making the most of it than these two dandies did. Seriously, the one kid, who apparently didn’t wear shoes to the game, was caught within three seconds:

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While his partner in crime attempted to juke the security guy

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But ended up utterly failing.

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If you’re gonna run onto the field, at least do some research. Have a plan. Have some Goddamn pride in your work. Give the fans a show, or else you’re no better than the overpaid million dollar sacks of shit who disgrace the Red Sox uniform. The most epic dingelberry on the field in MLB history happened on May 13, 2011 in Houston, when an Astros fan ran onto the field, hopped the outfield fence, climbed a 10 foot wall, and disappeared into the crowd never to be seen again. They still haven’t found him:

Legend. That video still gives me chills. That man had a plan. He was fast, elusive, crafty, and brilliant. Our nudniks on the field ran out barefoot and lasted five seconds. It’s kind of a metaphor for the season for us isn’t it? By the way, the Astros sucked balls in 2011 when this happened. Congratulations Red Sox, you’ve officially become the Astros, except they have more entertaining and likable fans.

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4 Comment(s)
  • TurtleBoySpurts
    June 17, 2015 at 11:55 am

    TB’s just another fair-weather fan. Nobody’s surprised.

  • RSoxGuy
    June 15, 2015 at 3:40 pm

    Sox friggin stink this yr and its not because of the manager as much as Felger and Mazz want it to be. Its the fact Cherrington is Larry’s puppet and John Henry has obviously lost interest in baseball and gone from owning NASCAR teams (Roush/Fenway, who suck btw), to flipping newspapers and more recently buying up and embarrassing Euro trash soccer teams that he has since stopped advertising for on NESN because NOBODY IN AMERICA GIVES A FUCK ABOUT SOCCER!

    The day larry signs some quality pitchers, is teh day the Sox are in the race. until then, We might as well be the Astros. The who? EXACTLY!

    • GraftonHill
      June 15, 2015 at 4:53 pm

      Sorry, American’s do give a shit about soccer as much as you think they don’t.

      • BobnMic
        June 15, 2015 at 5:35 pm

        No RSoxGuy is right. We could give a flying fuck about Soccer.

        I knew right from Spring Training that because of the lack of an Ace, and relying on Clay Buchholtz as a pitching rotation to work around, was going to be an epic failure. I was hoping that the Red Sox would have seriously gone after Max Scherzer to rap a team around him but no. That would’ve made too much sense.

        Over the hill Pablo Sandoval and Hanley Ramirez was no solution for a team finishing in last place last year. Ramirez does not play well in Boston. He never did. Panther can barely get out of own way. It is not John Farrell’s fault and I agree RSoxGuy about Felger and Mazz. They need to shut the fuck up.

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