Hoodrat Heroes

Registered Sex Offender And Dumpsterslug Girlfriend With Shared Facebook Account Seek Roommate To Share Run-Down, Cat Infested Apartment For $40 A Night

Do you currently find yourself sleeping on a cardboard mat in the alleyway behind the local laundromat? Huddled up in blankets inside the dumpster behind the Wendy’s? Do you need accommodations that only negligibly improve the safety and security of your situation, but you only have so much cash in your coffee can at the end of each long day standing at the intersection near the mall? Well, you’re in luck. Because these two have you covered.

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They’ve been posting all over local yard sale groups and Facebook marketplace with this can’t-be-beat offer:

 

$40 a night for a lovely slice of paradise like this?

 

And it even includes fruit, coffee and the promise that the crusty, leopard-print Ocean State Job Lot bargain bin special comforter drape over that dirty box spring was indeed washed after the last vagrant laid upon it. This deal isn’t just for anyone, though. Oh, no. Although you won’t be subjected to any pesky credit or background checks, you better not be on drugs or an alcoholic. Or judgmental, or negative. Obviously. Also, you better be up to their cleaning standards.

 

Also, must like an undisclosed amount of cats.

 

And must be OK with registered sex offenders lurking just steps down the hall while you sleep with one eye open.

 

If you’re not, that’s cool, too. They already have a plan for that – discriminatory renting standards!

 

People who can pay preferred, and please; no negative comments.

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33 Comment(s)
  • Steers and Beers
    January 16, 2020 at 11:17 am

    I wondered what the fuck was in this bitch-tits mouth in the first picture. Turns out, it was just gay lip piercings. Guys that have lip piercings, especially more than one, do but stuff. Guaranteed.

  • Mr. Tiddeefokker
    January 16, 2020 at 3:12 am

    How much extra to nut between them boobies? I prefer she keeps the glasses on.

  • AngryWhiteDad
    January 15, 2020 at 10:19 pm

    $40 can get you into the hostel.

    I’d rather sleep in my car than ever come near that SJW den of losers.

  • Captain Trips
    January 15, 2020 at 8:36 pm

    Pierced, artificial hair coloring, Antifa members, what could go wrong? I’m submitting my rent application today!

  • Now we get it
    January 15, 2020 at 7:38 pm

    It’s refreshing to see young people having their eureka moment — when they suddenly discover how simply and effectively the capitalist economic system can work for them. Rent a room for a few nights, pocket the Benjamins, and these two will be thinking of heading to Cambridge and Harvard Business School. What they don’t teach you in high school! Don’t delay — the business world and its rich rewards await you.

  • Grandpas lil secret
    January 15, 2020 at 4:34 pm

    Here now. Small room. Smells like provolone. Good deal. Traded for food stamps

  • Dr. Ed
    January 15, 2020 at 1:56 pm

    It’s not just the $1200 a month, but you kind of know that they won’t be reporting this to the Section 8 administrator, let alone the IRS.

    Under the Section 8 regs, $360 of this is supposed to be paid an additional rent, and you kind of know it won’t be.

  • Alex Cora
    January 15, 2020 at 1:43 pm

    Hello? I am interested in the room. Sounds perfect. Don’t mind the thumping sound.

    • Butch Hobson
      January 16, 2020 at 7:04 am

      Back off. I got this.

  • Cold Case
    January 15, 2020 at 1:10 pm

    That’s a lot of cleaning product to keep in a bedroom…

  • Kris Kringle
    January 15, 2020 at 12:43 pm

    Kind folks.Please allow Bucketboy to crash there short term.He is
    delusional and in denial about my existence.I will make it up to you
    next Christmas.A 97 Honda Civic,a gaming console of your choice
    and maybe even a nice rocky eightball if your extra good.

    Santa

  • 2wEntEe
    January 15, 2020 at 12:42 pm

    Only $1,200 a month what a bargain

  • Granny Warren
    January 15, 2020 at 12:29 pm

    Is closet space included for my vast sweater collection?

  • Haha
    January 15, 2020 at 12:26 pm

    When can we start killing people like this? Asking for a friend!

    • Ashley Vezina
      January 16, 2020 at 7:51 pm

      Stop making threats about killing people like this. I have done nothing wrong and your slandering me literally. I have a clean background!!! Theres nothing you can do to change my background. I do what I am suppose too. And i pay my taxes every year..so please stop putting me down. I have literally had to bury my cat this week because he got hit.. my fucking child got hit. Because a roommate let him out. So before you spiral someone’s life into more depression please realise what your doing is more harm than good. Your putting my safety at risk and I have done nothing wrong too the community. And I would not put anyone in harm’s way. I have done nothing but help people since the day I was born. Stop just stop. This needs to end. We arent renting stop.. drop it . Shittt.

      • Bad Baybee
        January 16, 2020 at 9:25 pm

        Well damn you went through all this bullshit and decide not to rent.I was gonna fucking apply.Now where am I going to live

      • Slugfucker
        January 22, 2020 at 6:13 am

        Can I cum in your tits?

      • Andy Affaya
        April 12, 2020 at 6:19 am

        By the way you know she does allow drug addicts in her place her best friend Nathan she abused him so much he turned to heroin because she over charged him then when he left for worked changed the locks and stole his money then her man had sex with a bother 16 year old and her father and her covered it up because of his cult beliefs shes also an escort beware shell w as it till you leave and steal your money and your stuff and change the locks then call the cops saying your breaking and entering and because your not in the least they cant do anything and she has bed bugs and roaches and hr dads is just as bad mountains of month of dirty dishes with flies around and mold its gross

  • The angry taint
    January 15, 2020 at 12:24 pm

    Tempting……very tempting

  • Local real local
    January 15, 2020 at 12:23 pm

    Can I pay extra for snuggles: from either her, him or the cats?

  • Better Idea
    January 15, 2020 at 12:18 pm

    I buy 40 bucks worth of heroin and dream I’m sleeping in Amy Klobuchars bed when in reality I’m in a cardboard box.

  • Lee Ho
    January 15, 2020 at 12:12 pm

    That guy sucked my dick when I was 14 lol

  • 13 and 14 year olds
    January 15, 2020 at 12:08 pm

    Name: Michael Martinez
    Date of Birth: 5/4/1992
    Address:
    3190 Mendon Road Apt #2
    City/Town:
    Cumberland, RI 02864
    Sex: Male
    Race: White
    Height: 5’9″
    Weight: 150 lbs.
    Eye Color: Brown
    Hair Color: Brown
    Convicted of:
    2012 (NH) Felonious Sexual Assault (14 y.o female/known); 2013 (NH) Felonious Sexual Assault (13 y.o. female/known)
    Community Supervision:
    Probation Expired: 1/20/2018

  • ChipChipperson
    January 15, 2020 at 12:03 pm

    “no women!”

    (Cause my boyfriend will watch you sleep)

  • Fashionista
    January 15, 2020 at 12:02 pm

    He looks fluffy. I think he’s lying about only being 150 lbs. If you’re embellishing your physique on your sex offender registration to avoid embarrassment then it’s unlikely that you understand the seriousness of your crime or that you’re experiencing any remorse.

    • Haha
      January 15, 2020 at 12:24 pm

      Lmao, I was going to say, that’s a fat fuck at 5’9 and 150lbs. He looks like his 5’9 and about 250lbs

  • Does it come with Disinfectant
    January 15, 2020 at 11:57 am

    I’m sure they follow all the laws and codes for renting a room?

  • Spic Tormentor
    January 15, 2020 at 11:53 am

    Seems like a good opportunity to grease a pedo

  • Landlords Beware
    January 15, 2020 at 11:38 am

    THIS is why I sold my 2 family.

    I doubt these two own the house, so all that “no pets/no subletting” means zip. I hope their landlord sees this…hope his/her insurance is paid up, too.

  • Greta
    January 15, 2020 at 11:35 am

    After reading your blogs I became ill. I fell into depression, I stopped talking and I stopped eating. In two months, I lost about 10 kilos of weight. All you talk about is dumpster slugs and sex offenders and fairy tales. How dare you!

    • Special Air Service
      January 15, 2020 at 11:43 am

      Who dares wins.

  • Ratchetsaurous Rex
    January 15, 2020 at 11:04 am

    Under the pile of goods…. I see a box which 100% means that this chick is or was in the company I am. And yet I can guarantee that their house still smells like shit. I can also assume that her choice in men and her renting practices, she likes to aim low Hahaha. If they live in an apartment then how are they renting out rooms?????

    • Andy Affaya
      April 12, 2020 at 6:24 am

      She wanted to force a girk tk become an escort with her lmao

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