Hoodrat Heroes

Rhode Island Rapper Montana Millz Whose #1 Hit Is “Sell Drugz,” Busted For Selling Drugs To Undercover Cops

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SourceA rapper whose songs include “Sell Drugz” has been charged with selling drugs in Pennsylvania. Twenty-nine-year-old Michael Persaud performs under the name Montana Millz. The Lebanon County district attorney says Persaud and a female accomplice sold heroin to an undercover police officer during a monthlong investigation. The district attorney says they sold 70 bags of heroin to an undercover officer in Lebanon and were arrested Oct. 28. The district attorney says police raided the couple’s hotel room and found more than 2 ounces of heroin worth about $11,500. The two suspects are both from Johnston, Rhode Island. They remain jailed. Investigators say his online mix tape also includes songs called “Gun Play” and “Armed and Ready.”

You can take the Rhode Island hoodrat out of the Ocean State, but you can’t take Ocean State out of the hoodrat. This has to be by far the grimiest yet most predictable Rhode Island outcome ever. Does anything good ever come out of that state besides some tasty waves in the summer?

First of all, if you’re gonna go into drug dealing, then don’t make songs called “Sell Drugz.” That’s like being a child molester and parking your rape van in the Chuck E Cheese parking lot. You’re begging to get caught.

Secondly, if you’re a so-called “rapper,” and you’re still selling drugs, then you’re obviously not very good at rapping. You think 50 Cent is going around shooting people and slinging H? Just no. Because he doesn’t have to do that anymore because people actually buy his music and go to his shows. As a matter of fact I’d bet money that 50 Cent never actually spent a day doing any of those things. He just raps about them because he knows there’s a market for hoodrats who think that sort of thing speaks to them.

And just to show you exactly how bad Montana Millz’ rap music is, I present to you “Let it Go” featuring ” his equally talented friend “Gunplay” who he met in line at the welfare office:

Just awful. You know you’re a bootleg rapper when you’re attempting to look glamorous but all of your shots are from the inside of roach-infested apartments and random parking lots in Providence.

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And what’s with the hydraulics on the car? Bro, this ain’t 1995, and you don’t live in Southern California. I see that “Gunplay” brought his red solo cup though. He must drink so much beer. Wicked cool!!

Oh yea, and if you wanna be taken seriously as a rapper, then don’t make videos called “Friend Zone” with a bootleg Rhode Island Justin Bieber:

What the hell did I just watch? That was a 3:20 video about two idiots whining about being in the friend zone while taking selfies and pretending like either of them could ever actually afford the Lamborghini in the video.

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Newsflash – real ballers don’t admit that they’ve been friend zoned. Real ballers get whatever chicks they want. Real ballers don’t whine about what a “good guy” they are. If she was into you, then she’d be into you. Pretending that you’re a good guy so you can get in her pants doesn’t actually make you a good guy. It makes you the GBF (gay best friend).

The best part was when the Aaron Carter ripoff said, “You don’t deserve me, it’s time to show me you’re worthy.”  Bitch, you live in your Mom’s house. You have absolutely nothing to offer. There isn’t a single woman on earth that you can claim doesn’t “deserve” you, because you are at the very bottom of the totem pole. That’s why I loved the part where he’s using her phone to take her picture and post it to snapchat, when all of a sudden she gets a text from “Kevin Sideboo”

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The look of sadness and disappointment on his face was priceless:

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You can see his heart breaking from here. She does NOT deserve him.

Anyway, my question is, will Aaron Bieber be driving his Lambo out to Lebanon PA to visit his homie in jail? And will either of them ever find love again? Never change Rhode Island, never change.

 

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