Rian Waters May Be The Foulest, Most Narcissistic, Yeast Caked DoucheNozzle To Ever Grace TBS, Doesn’t Understand Defamation, Or How This Felony Arrest Could Affect His Bullshit Claims

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So, I have declared war on Rian Waters, mainly because he has used this blog to level this maliciously strategic lawsuit against his ex as well as Uncle Turtleboy and the blog, and I am beyond morally opposed to, and disgusted by the entire spectacle. Those of you who watched live last night already know that I have uncovered mountains of evidence that led to me to my ultimate conclusion that Rian Waters is a flaming piece of human scum seemingly intent on maintaining power and control over his ex and the mother of his child. I suppose I could have just written one big blog raining down factual bombs like Hiroshima, but this is a pending legal matter and besides, what’s the fun in that? I prefer to light a long fuse and let it burn slowly.

Rian has already chimed in on the last blog I wrote, within minutes of it going live, despite being “in fear for his life” due to “threatening messages” he’s received.

As a side note, if anyone is actually threatening this chud, which given his shining record of abject dishonesty I highly doubt, don’t. He is worth neither the time nor energy, and unless you are a defenseless female or domestic animal, he’s most likely not going to fight you anyway.

His response to my blog was entirely as douchetastic as one would expect it to be.


If this isn’t the face of someone who is patently incapable of grasping the concept of “defamation”

I don’t know what is.  Now, I’m far from a lawyer, but I do have this neat little tool called “Google”, and when paired with my basic reading comprehension and reasoning skills, it can do amazing things.  Here is the definition of defamation, according to Massachusetts:

“A plaintiff alleging libel must ordinarily establish five elements: (1) that the defendant published a written statement; (2) of and concerning the plaintiff; that was both (3) defamatory, and (4) false; and (5) either caused economic loss, or is actionable without proof of economic loss.”

To win a Massachusetts defamation claim, plaintiffs must prove that their respective defendants made false (important) and defamatory statements, to a third-party, which caused material or harm.

And under Massachusetts defamation law, statements don’t have to be perfectly accurate to be true. For example, if a person states that another person was arrested for a violent crime, and later does not report on the outcome of the trial, the statement may be considered to be substantially true and therefore out of slander or libel bounds. You were arrested and charged, pussy peachfuzz. Nobody just made this shit up to get you.  


So Rian, let’s talk about it, shall we? Yes, I published a written statement, and it was most definitely concerning you. I used your words, your messages, and your actions (which are of public record), and therefore none of it was untrue. I don’t go around spreading falsehoods, because unlike you, my entire life does not revolve around frantically trying to maintain a flimsy image of functionality and importance. I’m not important, and I’m ok with it.  I function just fine without having to perpetually announce it to the world, like you do,


Yeah, voke-stache, you’re a real fucking hero, all right. That’s why you pull shit like this:

Just to have the results come back that you are a shitbag who doesn’t pay child support and hasn’t seen his kid in nearly two years.

And because he can’t man up and own his own flagrant personality defects, much like a textbook narcissist, he then pulls shit like filing a suit like this:


….Somehow he managed to file a suit destined to fail even more than the one against the blog. Incredible. Good luck on that one, Slingblade. Nothing I have written about you so far is untrue, and you asked for this as soon as you started fucking with the victim of your “alleged” crime. Which, you were arrested for, coincidentally, and never legally exonerated from. It’s a pity that presumably your IQ doesn’t exceed your tiny little pants size.

This guy is a boat load of fun.

Then there’s the “good reputation” bit. Which is fucking hilarious, considered this cowardly little snatchlips was charged with felonies long before the turtle ever got a hold of him:

The Post Star:


Some good reputation, huh? And if you recall, part of Rian’s complaint against his Ex involved this accusation of a “libelous” statement:

C. That there was a two day manhunt for him in New York.

Well, awkward. There was a manhunt for you in New York, Rian, in Warren County in 2008. Remember that whole “materially untrue” bit? Congratulations, you’re a fucking moron.

Just to reiterate, I’ve dug up evidence that tears down every single one of the above claims. Every single one of his claims, period. But that’s for another blog, another day. Stayed tuned for Part 3, where I address allegations in section #34: A, B and F.

Good luck, pubestache!


17 Comment(s)
  • Jawn Rivers
    January 7, 2019 at 7:02 pm

    Beside “White Trash” in a dictionary there should be a black and white oval shaped rendition of his face.

  • Randall Gay
    January 7, 2019 at 3:19 pm

    I find him rather attractive.

  • I Like Beer
    January 7, 2019 at 3:05 pm

    Since when does weed cost $21.57 a gram. If it does I went into the wrong line of work.

    • I Fucked Up
      January 7, 2019 at 3:10 pm

      Yup I fucked up. It is 8.09 a gram. I went into the the right line of work after all.

  • WeAreFukd
    January 7, 2019 at 3:00 pm

    I have to admit, his filing is well done for a lonely boy I imagine still faps 3 times a day. Do you suppose Gaffney wrote all of it?

    I still crack up at the poker career. That’s the funniest thing ever. If he ever did get custody, that’s his cash cow right there. Every month on SSDI check day, it’s off to the card tables he’ll most likely go…

  • Let me up, I've had enough
    January 7, 2019 at 2:48 pm

    This inbred motherfucker. Just look at his eyes. One eye is substantially higher than the other. He is one chromosome away from being a real life Picasso painting.

    • Kim Wescott
      January 7, 2019 at 7:16 pm

      Wide bridge on nose….eyes far apart……thin upper lip….could be Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.

      Definitely not an excuse for anything – this idiot needs to be in jail. But, it could explain the utter lack of his ability to reason in any logical way

      • Doctor Turtle Chick
        January 7, 2019 at 8:31 pm

        I was trying to place him. He is a FLK (Funny Looking Kid). Thanks for the help. I agree with FAS.

  • Captain Trips
    The Best a Man can Get
    January 7, 2019 at 1:58 pm

    He needs to shave his chin. And I need to practice swing my machete. Is he game?

  • Paw Verti
    January 7, 2019 at 1:21 pm

    He’s a Ware. Case closed.

    • Captain Trips
      Harry Chapin
      January 7, 2019 at 2:05 pm

      I’m the latest scumbag, from W A R E E E E E

      Bringing all the ratchets to you, wherever you may be

  • Just a fan
    January 7, 2019 at 12:34 pm

    Don’t poke the Turtle 

  • The Vorlon
    Kosh Naranek
    January 7, 2019 at 12:21 pm

    With a smile like that, he should be running for mayor in Fall River.

  • randiguy2006
    Randall Guy
    January 7, 2019 at 12:03 pm

    Yeah, I sincerely doubt any of your highly-edumacated classy readers would eeeeeeeevvveeerrr threaten anyone.

    • Pubestache is a joke
      January 7, 2019 at 2:41 pm

      Give it up Pubestache, you’re not winning any lawsuits and the world knows you’re a joke. You will live life as a joke, you will die a joke, your kid will hate you because even though that child is disabled, sharing your DNA make her predisposed to be a joke like her dad and now twice as disabled as before. You. Are. A. Joke.

    • randall guy jr.
      January 8, 2019 at 12:15 pm

      Daddy, you a fool. momma say you hung like a mouse

      • Pubestache is a joke
        January 10, 2019 at 9:27 am

        Liking your own comment is as retarded as the kid you abandoned and abused. Are you going to file an appeal now that the judge has made you look like the little bi**h that you are?

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