Sports

Should New England Patriots Try Against Buffalo Bills Sunday?

Brandon Spikes bills mafia memes

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Should the New England Patriots try tomorrow against the Buffalo Bills? They have absolutely no reason to even show up. The top seed is wrapped up for home field in the playoffs and I’ve already booked my hotel room in Arizona for the Super Bowl. But then again beating the Bills is one of the many countless satisfying parts of being a Boston sports fan, so I’m kind of conflicted.

The Bills shocked the world when they upset Aaron Rodgers and the Green Bay Packers two weeks ago. Of course they followed this up like only the Bills could by taking a steamy Buffalo dump on themselves in last week’s loss to the Oakland Raiders, eliminating themselves from playoff contention in the process. Again. Meanwhile the Pats took care of the New York Jets and the Cincinnati Bengals did the rest by by beating the Denver Broncos and wrapping up home field.

So what we have here are two teams with nothing to gain. But the Patriots actually have something to lose. There are four things the Patriots simply MUST have if they’re going to win the Super Bowl this year:

1) Bill Belichick

2) Tom Brady

3) Gronk

4) Darrelle Revis

Browner, Hightower, Collins, Chandler Jones, Edelman, LaFell, McCourty – these guys are all important. But you’re not winning shit without those four. That’s why seeing stuff like this scares the crap out of me, even if it’s from moronic Bills Mafia yahoos:

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I know these people are just idiots on the Internet, but let’s be honest – players like Brandon Spikes are basically no different than them except they’re on steroids.

As much as I’d like to see the Patriots annihilate Buffalo again, I think we’ve proven our point. Since Tom Brady first graced Boston fans with his presence his numbers against the Bills are insane. No two teams in any sport have ever seen such one-sided “rivalry.” Since Brady first played against the Bills in 2001 he is 23-2, and the Patriots have outscored the Bills 773-405. Yup, we’ve outscored them by 368 points. Slaughter.

So I want to see Brady, Gronk, and Revis on the field for exactly ZERO plays. It’s officially Garoppolo time. Watching Jimmy the Greek get his first win against a team like the Bills is basically the same thing as a lioness proudly watching her cubs slaughter and eat a disabled warthog for their first kill. No difference.

For whatever reason Bills Mafia is acting like this game actually matters though. The official Bills team page posted an article today entitled, “Top 10 Things You Should Cheer For Against The Patriots.” Newsflash for Bills Mafia – it doesn’t count if the other team doesn’t try. Salivating over beating the Patriots backups is so Buffalo it hurts.

Anyway, I still think the Pats destroy this team even if Mrs. Turtleboy is playing quarterback. Oh yea, and we’d like to welcome aboard the other voice of the New England Patriots, Scott Zolack aboard the Turtle. Gresh and Zo are the only on-air personalities who truly understand what we already know:

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Patriots 27, Bills 24. Garoppolo 2 touchdowns.

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