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This is Thomas Delacruz, AKA Tommy Vendetta, originally from Shrewsbury:
In 2000 Mr. Gabagoo was sentenced to 15-20 years in prison for an armed robbery of a jewelry store.
While in federal prison in Suffield, CT, he made two Facebook pages that someone else updated for him. One as a community page called “Allegedly ‘Not for Nuttin’.” Unfortunately he accidentally made his personal page name “John Smith” and couldn’t figure out how to fix it.
He recently was released from prison, but while locked up he began to write his memoirs, with the intention of publishing a book he was going to sell once he got out of jail. He also began to have someone record his prison phone calls for him, in which he recited the book on tape about what life was like in the can. It’s like a mixture of the Soprano’s and Forrest Gump.
Now that he’s out of the can he’s focused on getting his book up and running. The problem is that you don’t get paid to write a book unless you can sell it, and gangsta gabagoo needs to eat in the meantime. Sadly he missed the birth and evolution of the Internet while in jail, so he hasn’t figured out how all of this works.
Of course one of the first sites he was able to navigate was GoFundMe, and he has started an $80,000 fundraiser to pay his bills while he’s using the hunt and peck method to write his story about where he sat in the prison cafeteria.
He also says he needs money to pay the fees associated with publishing a book, which to my knowledge would be covered by his non-existent publishing company.
This of course proves that a ratchet can be in jail for the entire existence of the Internet, but the second they’re released they instinctively are drawn to Internet panhandling. He didn’t exactly set his sites low either. Mofo is trying to raise $80,000!! Da fuq you gonna do with $80,000 kid? How many Crossfits do you plan on opening?
Sadly for Tommy Vendetta this fundraiser isn’t going as planned. Maybe start a little bit lower next time. Or just get a real job and write your memoirs in your free time. Just a thought.