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Skankalicious Stench Trench Has Section 8 Slopbucket Neighbor Babysit For A 40 Spot, Posts About Scratched Up Baby in Rambling Ghettospeech, And Bristol Is Giving The Whole Thing The Side Eye

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Here’s another shady “muh baby wuz abused” story, coming out of Ohio. I honestly don’t know much about Ohio, other than cornfields, buckeyes and meth being prevalent, but I do know this chick would fit in well in Fitchburg, Fall River, or Pawtucket, RI….

So, from what I can gather, the tattooed gutterslut lodging complaints here, Breana, just started an illustrious career at a temp agency (think: Laborready sort of situation) and needed quality, affordable care for her infant child. Wisely, she elected to entrust a full day’s care to the fupasloth pictured above, for the rate of $40 for the day. That’s your first fucking clue that this probably isn’t going to work out ideally, because $40 is an insane lowball on a full day of childcare, and you’re only getting two options in that budget range – a close family friend, or a completely inept trashbag who says “Yup, a forty spot to crash on your couch for a day is cool with me.” Apparently, while in the care of this well qualified professional, the child was injured, and Breana did what any indignant ratchet would do, she posted about it on Facebook.

First of all, that shit gave me a headache to read, and I had to keep going back to revisit her rambling ghettospeak to be able to pull any sort of logical information out. It wasn’t easy, you guys. But what I managed to glean is that this blubberslug, Tiffany, was paid the sum of a whole $40 to be responsible for an infant and god knows how many other snot nosed crotchfruit, the infant showed signs of injury, and Breana and her baby daddy went full ratchet to defend their pack, and baby daddy ends up in trouble with the law. Ummm….let me give your a direct quote from the scuzz-covered jizz factory herself:

“he got really mad and went back down to knock on the door and knocked on her windows they were looking right at him and he was asking what happened to my daughter so they ended up calling the police on Ricky saying that he was trying to break into their house and what do you know the Dayton Police show up fast and go into her house before mine saying that her call was a priority and mine wasn’t as important. Which is total b******* I have respect for the police but at that point I had none my child’s father does have a record but that doesn’t mean that their focus should have been on finding him rather than seeing what happened to the baby if anybody seize their baby like this and gets their baby back like this from the babysitter they’re going to go off I think personally we should settle stuff to do with our kids if they get hurt if they’re molested if there are abused by babysitters we should have the right as parents to beat their ass because while I’m sitting here waiting for a detective to call me she got over on $40 from me my baby is beaten and battered and now her father has a warrant for trying to find out what’s wrong with his daughter the system is screwed I took my baby to Children’s and she will be okay children services has been notified the police have been notified so hopefully they do something about this or else they’re just setting me and my baby’s father up for prison.”

I seriously can’t fucking wait to hear Uncle Turtleboy read this shit in the ALL CAPS voice. Please, please, please!

Fuck 5-0, amiright?! How dare they respond to a report of a guy screaming, banging on doors and windows and trying to break in, before investigating her crotchfruit’s scratches? She seize her baby like this, and more importantly, is out a whole $40! That’s enough to bankrupt a ho! Where’s the justice?! I mean, her baby daddy might have a record, but it’s not like he’s violent or dangerous or anything!

Oh…..well, I guess maybe he is worthy of some law enforcement attention after all.

This whole thing is beyond ratchet and pretty fucking suspect. Some of those scratches look like what would happen if you aren’t staying on top of clipping your baby’s nails. They tend to scratch themselves. Particularly on the face/eyes. Who knows, really….the people involved here are so incoherent and trashy that I don’t think anyone is cracking the case any time soon. The only thing that Breana and I seem to agree on is that the story doesn’t make much sense. All I’m seeing is a Section 8 sleazesack complaining about another career welfare recipient’s childcare, which most likely was actually pretty much up to the standards of a perpetually single mom who uses the State as her babydaddy. In an extremely incoherent run on ratchetnese sentence, at that.  But let me break it down for you, and fish out the moral of this tale.

If you look a dirt road with eyebrows penciled in, like this:


And post shit on the internet like this:


And brag about your “promotion” after one week picking up temporary labor jobs:

And post your fucking retarded standards for your cervix scraper of the week like this:


Then it’s not too surprising that the pinnacle of your maternal judgement is to hand over a couple twenty dollars bills to dump your offspring off with this fucking Section 8 slopslug:

Yeah, I’d definitely trust this slampig with my children for a solid 6-8 hour workday. What could possibly go wrong?


What a classy broad:


I’m assuming she did that because she has the foresight to know that whatever junked out spamjavelin that braves her musty hole will most definitely be slamming it from the back, and will not remember her name without a visual prompt.


Since this post, much like these two skankalicious cumcatching cervixes, has become quite viral, the ratchet brigade has come out full force, ready to beat some ass on Facebook.

All the emojis make this crew seem really credible. Nothing trashy to see here. I think their suggestions are totally reasonable reactions to a one-sided, incoherent skankrant with some pictures of scratches on a kid. I mean, of course that scuzzy Gunt wasn’t watching the kid. Duh. I’m saying that the spunk guzzling instascram of a mother probably isn’t the pinnacle of decision making and class here, and how the fuck did she think giving that thing $40 and some kids would turn out any different than it did? If you see a dog foaming at the mouth and snarling at you, and decide to bring your baby over to give it a pet, and your kid gets mauled, is it really the dogs fault, or your own? Hmmm. So if you see a gastroglob goonie who looks like she spends her days in a drug addled haze screaming commands to her hoard of welfare children from the couch, and you hand you baby over, who’s fault is it when the kid gets injured and there was no one there to witness what the fuck really happened? I mean, seriously. This broad didn’t really need to announce that it’s a poor choice to have a trashbag guntqueen babysit your children – anyone with a a sliver of common sense and responsibility could tell you that.


Color me shocked, but it turns out this beautiful union isn’t all that stable, and those kids are fucked no matter which piece of hot garbage is in charge on any given day:


Welp, looks like she indeed slither her snail trail right on back to Babydaddy. Wise choices all around, you dumpstercunt!


The moral of the story here is really, don’t post your entire fucking crazy, dysfunctional trashfire of a life up online for all to see, if you don’t want to end up criticized for it. The Turtle finds everything, and you gon’ learn today. Act right. Get a daycare voucher, work nights, something, anything. There are plenty of resources out there for low-income working parents, no matter what state you live in. Take a hand up, just don’t make it a fucking career. And please, remember, your kids are watching how you behave, day in and day out, and no matter what you might say to them when you’re feeling sort of parental, they are going to learn what they live. Right now those kids are living an insanely ratchet shitshow with exactly zero stable adult role models. We don’t need any more dumpster fires being raised up to gawk at – trust me, lady, we have enough.

And fuck’s sake, stop giving these crackhoes enough to buy a bag of dope for the day and expect any form of quality childcare in return. It’s just common sense. Maybe start there.

22 Comment(s)
  • Tatie
    June 29, 2019 at 1:18 am

    Can Turtleboy do some ‘Where are they now?’ stories?

    I’m super curious about South Shore Turtle Girl’s dumpster slugs!!! Haven’t been seeing them panhandling downtown… was she really pregnant pushing that baby carriage around full of junk? Are they sober? Did they get their kids back? Did homeboy actually dedicate and smear it on the walls at Dominos?

    How about the yoga poon from Dartmouth? There have been so many good ones!


  • Fo Sho
    Not wid my dick
    October 8, 2018 at 12:14 pm

    How about a courtesy warning before posting more pics of a pig in red hot pants??

  • Hugh-Bo Mont
    September 27, 2018 at 2:11 pm

    TBS needs to have a Facebook Beauty Pageant. People can submit entries and then we vote like in Rachet Madness. I’m a firm believer in ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’, but seriously? Must be the Hennessy plus K2 goggle effect.

  • WeAreFucked
    September 27, 2018 at 9:10 am

    This is what is wrong with America, and why it will indeed fail.
    These people multiply faster than any other class of our population.

    Anyone who would do something like those awful tattoos to their body is unfit to be a parent anyway, rich or poor.

    I can’t believe anyone who wants to (and many do who don’t want to) can bring a child into this world. Think about all the things we aren’t allowed to do being of a certain age or without permission… drive a car, buy a gun, drink alcohol, smoke cigarettes, vote, etc…
    But… having a baby at 15, without any plan or support in place… NO PROBLEM.

    I am all for prison sentences for any guy who knocks up a girl before marriage. If this trend doesn’t end… we are fucked.

    • Tom Pain
      September 27, 2018 at 9:57 am

      Complete cultural shift. Aside from the obvious economic disadvantages, single motherhood used to be something that was culturally shameful…rightly or wrongly. Now, it’s practically celebrated as heroic, and, as the story states, it is abetted by Uncle Sugar, which enjoys promoting the bigotry of low expectations.

    • dave
      September 27, 2018 at 5:28 pm

      Jail is a bit harsh, also its not the mans fault. punish both of them.

      dont give them any support and let others see so they can learn and dont do the same. when a woman can pop out several babies with several different men, why should the state reach out to support her, you had one child and couldnt support it, yet you go out and have more…while on the government teet

  • Stunt Penis
    September 27, 2018 at 8:08 am

    If fucking either of those two skanks was my only option for sex, I’d opt for castration instead.

    • Hugh-Bo Mont
      September 27, 2018 at 2:01 pm

      No. Rosey Palm for the win.

  • Whitey Blackman
    September 27, 2018 at 6:05 am

    Merry Shitmas One and All!

  • CE
    September 26, 2018 at 9:30 pm

    Didn’t need to read the blog. All i needed to see was a fat assed white bitch with shitty tattoos and a black baby daddy. Thats all that was needed. The end result is always the same. Id still throw it in her but shed be swallowing a plan b cocktail or 2.

  • Drudge dread
    September 26, 2018 at 9:13 pm

    This is everything wrong with society.

  • I See Dumb People
    I see dumb people
    September 26, 2018 at 6:21 pm

    That baby definitely has more than just scratches !!! Did you actually svroll through the pictures or no? Even if tge mother is Ratchet .. That shit isnt right and the skank who was supposed to caring for the child should absolutely have charges brought on her for neglect endangerment and abuse of an infant!! Maybe you should of blogfed more on the cunt who beat the baby than her slampig mom .. Better luck next time

  • gtfo
    September 26, 2018 at 6:13 pm

    Ugh, these idiots vote too. Doom.

  • The Vorlon
    The Vorlon
    September 26, 2018 at 5:37 pm

    I wouln’t touch that with Bill Clinton’s peen!

  • No Rest For The Wackass
    September 26, 2018 at 5:06 pm

    And even though this happened, white skanks will still keep having babies with coon felons.

  • ncfoothillbilly
    September 26, 2018 at 4:35 pm

    “…I changed my life around 360.” Well, therein lies the problem, genius.

    • NH White Mountain Yankee
      September 27, 2018 at 9:37 am

      Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

      When that broad spins around 360, all the water in the house splooshes from side to side like the tide.

  • spot
    September 26, 2018 at 4:34 pm

    I’m assuming she did that because she has the foresight to know that whatever junked out spamjavelin that braves her musty hole will most definitely be slamming it from the back, and will not remember her name without a visual prompt.

    funniest sentence I have ever read, wish I could post image here. And get rid of the damn next blog timer redirect shit, such a ROYAL pain in the ass

  • spot
    September 26, 2018 at 4:31 pm

    why cant i post a damn image, other people can

  • spot
    September 26, 2018 at 4:29 pm

    I’m assuming she did that because she has the foresight to know that whatever junked out spamjavelin that braves her musty hole will most definitely be slamming it from the back, and will not remember her name without a visual prompt.

    omfg the funniest sentence I have ever read,


  • Ted Baxter
    September 26, 2018 at 4:06 pm

    These could be the winners for the ugliest people ever.

    September 26, 2018 at 3:58 pm


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