Hoodrat Heroes

Skizzmuff Fam Shows Up To Defend Honor Of Scrotumjuicer Who Was Selling Heroin And Stolen Guns In West Springfield Because He’s “One Of The Kindest People” You’ll Ever Know

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Here’s a sordid family affair out of West Springfield…..

Obviously heroin dealers by their very nature are pieces of shit. But if you label your poison “epidemic” during an opiate epidemic, you have reached new levels of shithead. As if you couldn’t tell that already from the organic pube farm this walking chia pet on his face.

Well, it’s not a party until the fam and/or the free my boi patrol shows up, starting with Kaitlyn Sheehan….

She grants dudes who wear flat brimmed Chicago Bulls hats access to her tampon tunnel.

Nuff said.

Listen skizzbrain, no one wants to hear this scrotumjuicer’s life story. He sells heroin and carries stolen guns. There’s nothing else we need to know. He doesn’t “literally” help anyone he can. If he did then he’d help the addicts who buy poison off of him find treatment. Instead he takes their money over and over and over again, until they kill themselves. Then he finds new people to help contribute to their own destruction.

A guy whose friend apparently overdosed showed up to share his thoughts on heroin dealers. Naturally the fam was there to let him know that it’s not the heroin dealer’s fault when heroin addicts die from doing heroin:

“Your friends death was your friends fault.”

I’m not gonna sit here and play the disease card, because drug addiction is not a disease. But if you owned a restaurant and you put food poisoning in the food that tasted really good so people kept coming back, you’d obviously be to blame when customers die. How is this any different? Oh right, it’s not.

Michelle might be Mom, and she appears to be claiming that her drug dealing kin has the disease too…..

Oh good, he’s an addict too. As long as her was selling heroin to fuel his own habits then it’s all good in the hood. That explains the stolen gun too.

Auntie had a lot to say too…..

So let me get this straight Auntie Twatwaffle. It’s not the drug dealer’s fault if they sell a bad batch, because they bought that bad batch off of someone else. Here’s a crazy idea that just might work – don’t sell heroin. Ever. At all.

Finally the man himself showed up to comment under his own arrest report, which is always a smart thing to do….

“Nick’s a nice kid.

No. Just no. Nick is a shitty adult male. A terrible, soulless, God forsaken slice of foreskin who the world would be a better place without. Then again, this is the source….

Flat brimmed hats doing bathroom selfies at Mom’s house. This is Nick’s peer group.

In case you needed any further validation that this chudump is indeed a complete and total waste of space……

You use the n word in regular conversation, and you casually mention your boys who just got out of prison like that’s a normal friend to have. Please, sample your own product. Over, and, over, and over again.

Shitbrains evidently does not think that drug dealers should be charged with murder if the poison they sell kills their clients:

But that’s only because he hasn’t killed anyone.

That he knows of.


The bottom line is, if you have a friend or loved one who gets arrested or ends up on a police Facebook post that makes it onto Turtleboy, DO NOT attempt to defend their honor on Facebook. Nothing could can possibly come of that. No one will be convinced by your “he’s the nicest guy once you get to know him” arguments. Because that’s not what the Internet is here to do. We’re here to cast judgement based on the facts presented to us. And your stupid family member sells poison and carries guns illegally while the rest of us have to deal with the panhandling wastes of space that your stupid family creates by selling his poison to them. So fuck him, and fuck you for defending him.

2 Comment(s)
  • UsualSuspect
    June 12, 2018 at 8:50 pm

    All dealers should be forced to ingest everything they are caught with. Problem solved.

  • Wabbitt
    June 9, 2018 at 3:44 pm

    There’s only three guarantees in life – death, taxes, and hoodboogers imploring us to free their boi because only God can judge when the fam gets arrested.

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