Hoodrat Heroes

SNAP Back Sanchez Looking To Buy Food Stamps After Selling Cocaine In Southbridge Didn’t Work Out As Planned

 

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Ya know what we haven’t done in a while turtle riders?

Food stamp Friday!

Today’s contestant is Emmanuel Soto from Southbridge, and he’s looking buy some food stamps, presumably for a discount, so that he can buy food for half the price. The buyers of food stamps are generally much more entrepreneurial than the sellers, who more often than not are looking to buy drugs. Unlike sellers, buyers actually want to buy food, but why buy $50 worth of food with $50 when you can purchase $100 worth of food stamps for $50? Does Manny here look like someone who pays full price for groceries?

The hat. In three different styles nonetheless. You put one of those things on you and you magically enter the underground food stamp black market. That’s just science.

For a guy who’s trying to save money on food at the expense of the taxpayers he sure doesn’t seem to be hurting for bling.

Move out of the shithole of Southbridge or cover yourself in bling while keeping dem brows on fleek? Decisions, decisions.

Looks like he’s been short on cash for a while now, which is why he’s been forced to sell some of his bling. He even weighed it out on his digital scale, which normally is used to separate shitty Webster weed into dime bags, but has other useful purposes as well.

Or maybe you’re in the market for the official vehicle of Southbridge.

A 96 Civic. Rims not included.

Looks like he had to find new ways to make and save cash since dealing coke didn’t work out quite the way he had hoped.

26 year old Emmanuel Soto of 19 Oliver Street flr#2 in Southbridge, MA was charged with possession with intent to distribute class B cocaine and with conspiracy to violate the drug laws

If only he could sell his Google trophies for food stamps.

He’d never go hungry again.

Looks like he found a buyer.

I for one am shocked that this man right here has food stamps he can procure for his boy.

Shocked I tell ya!

Happy food stamp Friday turtle riders! Have fun paying taxes so that people like this can do something besides sell cocaine!

 

 

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24 Comment(s)
  • Silencio Dogood
    September 14, 2019 at 2:41 am

    In Poseur world, Selfies give this illegal tender a sense of self-importance that food stamps just can’t buy, no matter the able-bodied source offering to sell them for fiddy cents on the dollar. What a sodding world of brown-collar pretense, spending drug money and tax dollars on Coronas, chains and that breed of hat, which says it all. The boi’s a living failure.

  • He stinks from here
    September 13, 2019 at 11:47 pm

    Southbridge….. must mean he’s spent a lot of time in Dudley District……has anyone ever heard of anyone actually being sentenced to a jail term from the Dudley court? I’ve spent many days there over the years watching the proceedings and I have actually never seen anyone sentenced to jail there….

    Just a revolving door

  • stab in the throat
    September 13, 2019 at 9:11 pm

    koonz and spicks fucking scum of the earth

  • Gaypride
    September 13, 2019 at 7:23 pm

    Foodstamp fags

  • Butt
    September 13, 2019 at 4:05 pm

    Hey turtle commenters, you have less of a life than 12 year old girls. The pinnacle is when ya find another fuckin buuuuuuuttt to rip.

  • Fall River For president
    September 13, 2019 at 3:53 pm

    It’s funny how every fucking clown owns a Chicago Bulls hat!! isn’t it ironic that bulls also Chase rodeo clowns inside the arena? it’s like they almost gravitate towards each other.-Johnnie AirMaxes

  • Chicago skull fuck
    September 13, 2019 at 3:48 pm

    Dude fuck the Chicago bulls!! There fucking emblem isn’t even fuckin cool!! And the colors black and red together were dope when I was in 5th grade!! That shit is on over Kill!! The Celtics Logo is way better, but fuck you and ur eyebrows buddy!!! I would love to stomp on this skinny hood booger’s head.

  • Wade Boggs- Taint
    September 13, 2019 at 1:51 pm

    I would happily pay more in taxes to bring back the walk in delivery of welfare. Show me 3 signed examples of you interviewing for a job, show me your ID before I hand you a check and a coupon book of food stamps. I guarantee the spend will decrease enough to justify the additional costs.

  • GBUsa
    September 13, 2019 at 1:27 pm

    Racism doesn’t exist beyond the internet. Leprocy is more prevalent. the fat lazy slobs that are on the Internet all day are the only ones they fool. It is just trying to get accepted by someone. It’s not pretty for the good ole USA.

  • Cough
    September 13, 2019 at 1:17 pm

    Rip some buuuuuuutssssssss. Cough, choke.

  • S.O.S.
    September 13, 2019 at 12:53 pm

    Same old shit. This is Massachusetts and won’t change anytime soon.

  • The Anthropologist
    September 13, 2019 at 12:02 pm

    The youth costumes of this cultural enclave are quite elaborate. An ensemble typically consists of shirts or blouses featuring vivid yellows, reds, and greens; denim trousers with marked signs of wear or deterioration due to bleaching chemicals; and large “caps,” in the same vivid primary colors as described before, with a single brim worn at the front, or sometimes at the side. The brim itself is invariably flat in shape.

    Footwear choices are equally elaborate. Most often in the form of a casual athletic shoe or “sneaker,” the youths prefer shoes decorated with swoosh motifs and other basic two-dimensional shapes. Pubescent and post-pubescent males and females exhibit an equal fondness for jewelry. This jewelry consists of wristwatches, bracelets, earrings, necklaces, rings (note that some rings are ingeniously designed to be worn on more than one finger simultaneously), and other baubles, nearly always constructed of gold, and typically exaggerated in size to appear more prominent when worn on the body.

  • Meanwhile Grandma Eats Cat Food
    September 13, 2019 at 12:02 pm

    I just don’t understand this system. You do everything right, you pay your taxes, you put your kids through school, you stay on the up and up and your reward is getting on a waiting list for housing which is already occupied to capacity by healthy working age shitheads that blast their goddamn music all night and throw daytime barbecues all summer long.

    • Emily
      September 13, 2019 at 1:16 pm

      Nicely said. I worked 46 years of my life but my seasonal job, which I use to pay house taxes puts me a few dollars over the POVERTY LINE so I don’t qualify for food stamps. People like this are are making me think twice about whether I should change from one party to another…More freaking people getting everything for free and I’m just barely surviving. Just sad state of affairs

      • Y
        September 13, 2019 at 8:25 pm

        If you’re still thinking, then you’re not quite awake.
        Get off the Democrat plantation!!
        Dems care more about illegals and these sh_t-bags than they do for normal, tax-paying Americans.

  • In Plain Sight
    September 13, 2019 at 11:53 am

    The bling is basically a ghetto bank account used to store wealth while hiding assets in order to qualify for various forms of assistance. Same with the Jordans, the stereos, the pimped out rides etc.

    • Da Boi Got Assets Yo
      September 13, 2019 at 2:30 pm

      When the dollar crashes and it will if chief warren gets in, hard assets will be worth something.
      Boi cant but real estate so air jordsns will do.

  • Hows Eleanor
    September 13, 2019 at 11:48 am

    meah. there’s worse guys. so theres that.

  • All my posts are satire
    September 13, 2019 at 11:43 am

    They’re mostly raised by single mothers. This explains a lot if you think about it. Much of “hood culture” is just feminine faults through a masculine lens:

    – Obsession with their appearance
    – Fanatical about shoes
    – Spend all their money on jewelry
    – Fixated on receiving unearned respect
    – Poor future planning
    – Always “beefing” (feuds and gossip) with others
    – A lot of attention given to hair grooming

    • Yeeeeeeeees!!!!!!!!!!!!
      September 13, 2019 at 3:29 pm

      I’m a women and I totally agree! Single mothers caused this behavior. Also I find the son/husband phenomina very prevalent with them which is extremely toxic. Google it if anyone hasn’t heard the term, it’s fucking disturbing.

  • One would think...
    September 13, 2019 at 11:26 am

    …that the State would monitor how taxpayer funded benefits are being used and curb the illegal commerce of said benefits. I mean, if Earl has extra, then he’s probably receiving too much to begin with which could be redistributed to a more needy family. All it would take is consistent monitoring of recipient’s social feeds apparently. But I digress…

  • bigdaddy
    September 13, 2019 at 11:23 am

    wow 4 different flat brimmed Bulls caps now thats impressive

  • Allah board
    September 13, 2019 at 11:18 am

    Time to report these assclowns. I’m doing it right now. Sick of paying these lazy fucks way

    • Joe smith
      September 13, 2019 at 11:44 am

      If you report these shitbags they will claim racism and the foodstamps will be doubled because they are of a certain denomination…

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