Sports

Some Idiot Named Corey Lost Out On $100,000 Because He Didn’t Hit “Save” When He Chose UConn-Kentucky Final, TurtleBoy Sports T-Shirts On The Line Tonight

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Deadspin: Corey Johnson currently has the fourth-best bracket in America. The 20 best brackets will win $100,000 from Quicken Loans and Yahoo Sports, but Corey will not be among them. Corey’s bracket didn’t pick a champion. Where will Corey be watching tonight’s championship game? “From a rope hanging from a tree,” he tells me.

Before anything else, Johnson wants you to know that he thought he picked a winner. Even more important than the money is correcting all the people who think he’s an idiot who just forgot. “I clicked UConn to win,” he says, “put in the final score, and clicked save. I guess it didn’t save.”

Johnson, a lifelong Huskies fan from Meriden, Conn., didn’t realize anything was amiss until last week. As the tournament progressed, his hit rate was high—11 of the Sweet 16, seven of the Elite Eight—and he couldn’t help but brag to his friends. They looked at his bracket and had some uncomfortable questions.

“Who do you have in the championship game? I said, ‘UConn and Kentucky’. Who do you have winning? I said, ‘UConn.’ They said, That’s not what it says here. I said, ‘Oh shit.'”

Sure enough, Yahoo hadn’t registered his pick of a champion. The bracket had locked before the opening round, and it was too late to add a pick—you can trust Johnson on this, because he read every word of the contest’s fine print while looking for an out. He then went through the scores of brackets at the top of the leaderboards, trying to figure out if there was any combination of the Final Four and championship game that would result in him remaining, championlessly, in the Top 20. There wasn’t.

Johnson’s happy he came this far. “It was a good bracket!” he exclaims, and I’m not sure if he’s trying to convince himself or me, but it was a very good bracket. Fourth best of the millions entered in the Yahoo pool. That’s something to be proud of. And yet. “It was like hitting the winning shot, then being told the clock had already expired.”

Johnson, 28, says he would have liked the $100,000 to pay for school. (After years of working with autistic children, he’s currently enrolled at the Porter and Chester Institute training to be an HVAC technician.) But he believes this is one of those things that wasn’t meant to be. “Maybe someone who needs it more than I do is going to win because I won’t,” he says.

That still doesn’t stop him from being “pissed off at the world” right now.

I asked Johnson whom he’s rooting for tonight, knowing the stakes. A Connecticut win would mean he was one failed click away from $100,000. A Kentucky win would mean he wouldn’t have won anyway. “I’m rooting for UConn,” he says. “It’s not even a question.”

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Does it get any worse than this? The lesson here is pretty simple – never, ever do your bracket on Yahoo. I’m so sick of Yahoo. CBS, ESPN, or any other website is a better alternative. But let’s be honest, this kid doesn’t deserve to win. It’s not like he is some kind of guru who picked UConn to do the unthinkable. He’s a UConn fan who picked his favorite team, and got extremely lucky. Anyone who honestly though UConn would be in the Championship game is a moron of epic proportions. They lost to Lousville 81-48 in their final game before the conference tournament began. They had all the makings of a first round exit. So no, I don’t feel bad for this idiot. Nevertheless, picking the four Final Four teams correct is nasty, but statistically when millions of people do this, this is bound to happen.
No matter what happens tonight, Corey loses. If Kentucky wins, he’s a miserable UConn fan. If UConn wins he’s a happy UConn fan who just lost out on $100,000. How can you ever get over that? You simply can’t.
As for the TurtleBoy Sports bracket, the Top 3 finishers will be receiving TurtleBoy Sports official T-shirts:
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Here’s your current standings….
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So the lone minority in the pool is gonna take this down. Second place is TurtleBoy Sports blogger and UMass sophomore Craig Miklavic. As of right now the Portuguese Punisher, Brian Pinheiro sits in third. The only one of the 34 entrants to still have a horse in the race though is another TurtleBoy Sports blogger/agitator Joey Genius. He picked Kentucky to win the whole thing so he’d move up 28 points and finish in third with a Wildcat victory. The lesson here is pretty clear – TurtleBoy Sports bloggers know their shit. Hot takes people. Hot takes. This is anecdotal proof of it.
What sucks for Joey G is that he called me before the tournament started and wanted me to use my Bovada account to put money on Kentucky to win the whole thing. They had something like 35-1 odds. For whatever reason Bovada wasn’t taking bets on that the day before or the day of the Tournament’s opening games. Almost as much as a kick in the balls as poor Corey got. Almost. At least the Genius will be getting a free t-shirt out of it.
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Feel free to share your thoughts to keep the conversation going.

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6 Comment(s)
  • Gina HJ
    April 7, 2014 at 10:17 pm

    I happen to know Corey and I take exception to the use of your calling him an idiot. You don’t know him, you don’t know that since he was 12 years old he’s volunteers at a camp for intellectually and physically challenged children and adults. You don’t know that he bought a burger with his last dollar to give to a homeless guy, or that he sat for hours with a young lady who had driven her car off the road and was sitting in a ditch waiting for help. Corey has the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever met. So if that’s an “idiot” i want to be one just like him.

    • Hannah Gordon
      April 7, 2014 at 10:25 pm

      Just think of how many burgers he could have bought homeless people if he was smart enough to hit save. #Fail

      • Waterboy
        April 8, 2014 at 3:39 pm

        Let me start by saying my bracket was alright but not that good.

        Everyone who flubs something and wants something for nothing is suddenly a saint who works at Salvation Army. LOL Hannah. Idiot is the right word. The butt of every jokester in America!! Better luck next time.

        Every time I get burned in Atlantic City I can’t go the dealer and ask for my money back. So why should anyone else?

    • Joey G
      April 7, 2014 at 10:36 pm

      Gina “HJ” huh? Hmmmm…

  • Chino Rosario
    April 7, 2014 at 8:17 pm

    Per usual, the “token” of the crew beats you guys in everything. You should be used to this by now!! HAHA

    • Joey G
      April 7, 2014 at 8:30 pm

      I’ll mail you a check wrapped inside my free t-shirt if Kentucky wins.

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