Hoodrat Heroes

Somehow This 18 Year Old Turners Falls Basic White Chick Ended Up Becoming A Known Worcester Gang Banger Who Fires Guns, Leads Cops On High Speed Chases, And Boinks 16 Year Old Hoodboogers

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Guys, the world is changing in ways I never thought possible. At age 18 if I heard someone mention a gang member, this is not what came to mind.

Meet Hattie Harvey, the most gangsta prom queen y’all ever did see.

Please hold, my brain just short circuited in an abysmal attempt to understand ALL of this baby hoodbooger hullabaloo.

Ok, so the Worcester police were responding to some other stuff and heard gunshots and went to investigate. I’m going to go ahead and assume that when they got ahold of these assrat thugs that their brains damn near exploded when they realized that this is the face of a well known gang member:

I’m positive that not a filter, there’s just how she looks every day. To be this ratchet, you had to have been born with a dog filter. Had to.

The best part of this story is how the tipster who sent this in included her old Facebook account from when she was ten years old. Let’s see if there’s any clues that would signal that this child ain’t right…

I… I don’t think being 10 makes this ok. At all. Ever.

You may have seen Halle Harvey mentioned in that last salty AF post (I like puns,I’m not sorry). I’m going to assume they’re sisters because of how their awful, AWFUL parents decided to ruin perfectly fine children by dooming them with these terribly misspelled nonsense names at birth.

Anyway, Halle came to defend the Gangsta Prom Queen’s boyfriend, who happens to be 16 because whatever the fuck nowadays…

Yeah Adam! Ever think of that one!? Huh!? You big bully jerkface!? And before you start judging, just remember every ratchet’s motto:

Were you there? No you weren’t! Obviously, the only truth is in actually being there and seeing stuff and things! I never saw a dinosaur in real life so they never existed, those bones are fucking hearsay! I’m not judging on assumptions, whatever that means, because I’m super legit.

So because the little 16 year old future baby daddy was a minor, he can’t be located. OMG, someone please send his info if you know him! I don’t care that he’s underage, he’s poppin’ caps like a big boy so he’s gonna get a double shame sammich because he’s a growing boy. He needs his strength to have his girlfriend drive him around to shoot at stuff because he can’t reach the pedals yet and he gets super cranky if he misses his nap, and he can’t nap on an empty tummy.

Children are our future… And our future looks dumb as shit in a shoe.

Pop off at the mouth at me [email protected] or on Twitter @MTurtlette

3 Comment(s)
  • SMH
    June 1, 2018 at 12:11 am

    Don’t you see how brilliant and precocious she is? She is already dating the bad boys now rather than waiting until her 30s!

    • vicxh
      June 1, 2018 at 9:14 am

      I would like to invite this gang member to join my gang … bang. I will do the driving this time, so she doesn’t have to worry about getting pulled over. She can focus on my stick instead of the stick shift.

    • Captain Trips
      June 3, 2018 at 9:29 am

      I’ve known bad boy loving girls like that. They all ended up the same

      50 years old, single, lonely, and worn out

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