Hoodrat Heroes

Southbridge Sauce Waffle Selling 13 Cans Of WIC Funded Crotch Fruit Formula Blocks Us After We Offer To Buy And He Realizes What We Do, Says He’s A Big Fan Though



Here’s a pro tip from someone who’s been in this game for a while now – if you see someone on Facebook selling surplus cans of Similac baby formula, you’re almost definitely dealing with WIC abuse. Take for instance this chud.


Anyone can purchase Similac, so I don’t have any evidence that he’s reselling taxpayer funded poon polyp powerade, but Similac is the primary WIC funded crotch fruit nectar of hood boogers everywhere. Back when my kids were drinking powdered milk for sustenance we always bought these one can at a time because there was no way I was gonna get stuck with a surplus. Maybe it’s normal to have two or three, but 13? Yea, something’s a little strange about that.

So I logged onto Clarence Woods Emerson and messaged the unfortunately named Scott Peterson of Southbridge to ask if I could buy some baby formula off him. Turns out he’s a self described “big fan.”

He then must’ve realized that as a “big fan” that we regularly expose people who are abusing the system, because when I tried to ask him why he had so many cans, this happened:

Blocked. Almost like he knew what was happening next. Certainly his Facebook pictures didn’t help his cause.

Flat brimmed Chicago Bulls hat. Every. Single. Time.

Anyway, if Scott would like to explain how he’s acquired so many tins of Similac and why he’s selling them for a profit on a community Facebook page, we’d love to hear from him. Probably gonna have to unblock us first there Scotty.


Please consider supporting local journalism by donating to the Turtle fund:

Follow us on Youtube, SoundCloud, Twitter, and Facebook.

Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy: 


30 Comment(s)
  • Greg
    July 31, 2019 at 12:08 am

    Donald Trump has blown through $120 million in taxpayer money just on his golfing habit. And, given how much of that golfing happens at his properties, much of that money has found its way right into his own pockets. But yeah, let’s lose our shit over $100 worth of baby formula.

  • no more free shit for anyone
    July 30, 2019 at 3:17 pm

    when i see people get outed here on tb,i wish a follow up story could come out. did it effect their life’s,friends,marriage,etc ,etc.also maybe some highway billboards exposing the type of people we pay for that are caught being shitbags

  • Painting houses during a heatwave
    July 29, 2019 at 10:17 pm

    We all feel bad at the idea of hungry babies/kids and these pieces of shit use it as a game to get pocket $ to fund their shitty life where they never try but get everything they want. Seems fair. What the fuck have I been doing with my life. I should be at the beach! I bet that whales there with take out food and an iced coffee.

  • SassySwede
    July 29, 2019 at 10:14 pm

    There seem to be way too many parents who think it’s a good thing to name their spawn Scott Peterson…
    They all must’ve fallen out of a boat or got dropped on a stone sea wall on their head! Just sayin

  • Judge dread
    July 29, 2019 at 9:08 pm

    The judge has secured several hospitals and medical professionals that are fulling willing to perform a lobotomy on ratchets.

    After it’s done and they have a black eye, put them in a van and dump them in NJ at a rest stop off i95 or he turnpike.

    The judge wants to export our lobotomized problems to NJ.

    • SassySwede
      July 29, 2019 at 10:28 pm

      Send the oxygen wasting lot to the back woods hills of West Virginia instead. At least then there is a marginal chance to enhance the gene pool by adding outside-the-family stupidity. If that doesn’t mostly eradicate the situation, it should at least… nah I got nothing else except the need to remove all vapid idiots from polite society

      • Drudge dread
        July 29, 2019 at 11:23 pm

        I’ve been looking for new techniques. Thank you

  • I'd like to buy a vowel
    July 29, 2019 at 7:06 pm

    This goes for about $18 a can in the store and kids go through a lot of it. Also if you notice, most stores keep it locked now so you need to ask the cashier for it. When my kids were small I remember not buying things for ourselves cause this shit was so expensive.

    • Stupid Gringo
      July 30, 2019 at 10:27 am

      New Americanos just steal it and then spend the welfare money on new $200 sneakers while you pay more taxes.

  • Authentic
    July 29, 2019 at 5:01 pm

    What else is ‘ol Scotty selling online?
    Something of yours? Or maybe of mine?

    If it “fell of the truck,”
    I’d still give a fuck

    Cuz the rest of us pay with our time.

  • Manheim
    July 29, 2019 at 4:04 pm

    Just back from DC where I broke off the bronze binoculars off the Pershing statue in Pershing Park. Is there a difference in this slumdog, flatbrim selling government cheese in a can and me Ebaying a part of a World War 1 Monument? Is the game “steal what you can and sell it to other addicted rachets?” No wonder there are no statues in Baltimore. Next Years Worlds Fair at the Harborside is going to unveil the new public toilet for the freeMuBoi, mumback, Nignogs in the city. A low rope allowing men and womes to hang on and pee into the harbor. Baltimore we knew ye well.

    • Silencio Dogood
      July 30, 2019 at 2:40 am

      There are no statues in Baltimore because they were all found to be racist and removed.

  • Better Call Roto-Rooter
    July 29, 2019 at 3:28 pm

    This idiot is one slice of cheesecake and a cig away from a coronary

  • Help me out moms n dads
    July 29, 2019 at 3:10 pm

    I have zero kids so this is a legit question. Its like milk right? So even if they stop using a bottle they could use a cup right? It’s still healthy food why not let the kid keep drinking it? I know this loser wants $ but is he selling the food out of his kids mouths or is that formula unusable to the kid after a certain age? How big of a scumbag is he?

    • bigdaddy
      July 29, 2019 at 3:14 pm

      He probably doesn’t even have kids scammed WIC or stole them

  • The Name Game
    July 29, 2019 at 2:55 pm

    “… the unfortunately named Scott Peterson.” Haha! My first thought too. Why’s he selling formula? Maybe there’s a baby body buried out back. He’s no mathematician either, wants to sell 13, but itemizes four and two. Never fed my kid formula, so no clue what it costs.
    BTW, Scott, the Bulls haven’t been relevant in 20 years; I bet you only have it for street cred. And move closer to the propane. PLEASE!

  • Liawatha
    July 29, 2019 at 2:53 pm

    Scott happened to have a little extra formula and wanted to offer it to the community. Where is the crime in that? My God!

  • Jack B Pierce
    July 29, 2019 at 2:35 pm

    Why are bulls hats never on normal looking, smart, white people with jobs. Oh. Never mind.

  • Gordon Gekko
    July 29, 2019 at 2:30 pm

    Southbridge is a nice place! I go there to take a shit.

    • Still epic
      July 29, 2019 at 3:16 pm

      Wallstreet 1st movie one of the best movies of all time! Now that I’m reminded I think I ‘ll go watch it again right now.

  • pedro
    July 29, 2019 at 1:47 pm

    Someone give that fat faggot a light, and push him closer to that propane tank. He sucked my dick last night and I fucked him up the ass as he cried and called me Daddy, then he didn’t even swallow. What a waste…

  • scotty petersohn
    July 29, 2019 at 1:42 pm

    fat fucking faggot

    • Silencio Dogood
      July 30, 2019 at 2:43 am

      He’s been eating too much Similac

  • Turtlenewb
    July 29, 2019 at 1:03 pm

    He looks closer to that fence than 50 feet.

    • ChrisInShrewsbury
      July 29, 2019 at 1:29 pm

      He looks closer to mild mental retardation than 50 feet also.

      • Captain Trips
        July 29, 2019 at 3:23 pm

        “He looks closer to mild mental retardation than 50 feet also”

        That was awesome! Thanks for the laugh

    • ElJefe72
      July 29, 2019 at 2:18 pm

      Because he’s a bad ass!! He doesn’t play by The Man’s rules.

  • bigdadd
    July 29, 2019 at 12:55 pm

    What no bottle of henny or titooed hoe girlfriend ?

    • Captain Trips
      July 29, 2019 at 3:25 pm

      Girlfriend? Shit, he’s a sausage fan

      That formula is either illicitly obtained from WIC or illicitly obtained through straight on theft.

      Either way, it’s illicit.

  • Gash Basher
    July 29, 2019 at 12:36 pm

    Wonder how this walking stuffed artery can be a TB fan and wear a bulls hat.

Comment on this Post


All-Star Worcester Parents Lay Siege To School Bus, Beat Up Bus Driver, Then Write Magnificent Things On Facebook
Comments From The Worcester Parent Bus Riot Blog Were Borderline Orgasmic
Hot Girl Threatening To Sue Turtleboy Sports Over Busgate, City Council Still Hasn’t Even Mentioned It