The bond between mother and child is an insatiable force of nature. When it comes to their child, mothers throw out all inhibitions and reason. Everything they would frown upon if someone else did it is quickly forgotten about when it comes to their own kid. It’s unexplainable. The case of the Boston marathon bombers it the perfect example. Kid blows up marathon. Kid kills cop. Kid runs over brother with car. Kid found in boat covered in blood. Mom doesn’t believe kid did anything wrong.
I don’t care how cool your mom is, when push comes to shove your Mom would freak out on your behalf. They love you unconditionally, and when that happens all bets are off. Some Moms are just better at censoring themselves. There is no better place to see this displayed then kid’s sporting events. Now I assumed the craziest moms were at either soccer or basketball games. These are usually the two sports where the refereeing is the most controversial, and kids are often being tossed around by other players. When a kid goes down in one of these sports the Momma bear is always there to give SOMEONE a piece of their mind.
But I was wrong. Basketball Moms it turns out aren’t that bad. Basketball dads are much worse. Baseball Moms can’t compare either because it’s just too dull of a sport for Moms to go nuts. You would think maybe football would be the craziest Mom freakout sport because of all the hitting, but it turns out it’s more of a dad/coach freakout sport.
The two biggest mom freakout events it turns out are hockey and cheerleading. I didn’t play youth hockey so I missed all the fun. I went to a couple cheerleading competitions when I was early in my courtships process with Mrs. Turtleboy, so I’ve seen what the moms there are capable of as well.
Luckily I avoided all of this because my Mom wasn’t really into sports and always had a good book to read during my games. My Mom would freak over bad grades, or when she received phone calls from Mr. Hand at Ridgemont High and the Worcester Police about huge brawls that were going down on my behalf at Newton Square after school. But she’d always freak out on me. It was always my fault. By high school my sports were track and golf, so it’s pretty rare to see any mom freak outs there. They’re pretty much the most non controversial sport in the world. Who are you gonna yell at? The clock? The guy measuring where the javelin landed? The 110 pound kid who was beating me fair and square? How about the hole for not being big enough?
Without further adieu, here are the top 5 mom freak outs.
5. Mom cheers along with cheerleaders.
If you’ve never been to a cheering competition you are very lucky. This lady unfortunately is not that rare. Cheerleaders are scored based on how much they get the crowd into it and how much they smile. This pretty much settles any sort of debate on whether or not cheerleading is a sport. This lady might just be a regular woman that you meet who seems quite normal. But put her at her daughter’s cheerleading competition and all reason is thrown out the window. If her daughter’s team didn’t win grand champion then I call bullshit because crowd participation was a 10.
4. Mom runs on ice during hockey fight.
I love when Mom’s don’t understand how the sport works. Lady, you signed your kid up for the most violent sport in North America. Football is violent, but in hockey they just let you fight. Like when two players go at it, it’s like an old fashioned school yard fisticuffs. Everyone backs away and they just fight until one of them falls. This is a part of the game that the purists will never back down from until someone dies on the ice. Mom must’ve missed the memo on this one. Kudos to her for not falling though. You ever try walking on the ice in church shoes? And who’s the dooshnozzle yelling at her to get off the ice? The consequences could have been much more hilarious if she had stayed on the ice and kept berating the referees.
3. Janice Soprano fights soccer Mom.
Janice Soprano was the worst character on that show (besides Tony’s wife, opinionated progressive daughter, and loser son), but this is her at her finest. It’s really not that hard to imagine either. After all, this is Bergen County New Jersey. S*** like this basically happens every day.
2. The Original Psychotic Cheer Mom.
What was this woman thinking when she got dressed in the morning? I’m gonna go with my favorite christmas grass skirt today. I wouldn’t mess with this lady. That’s some impressive stomping right there. Best part is easily when she starts yelling “I love you, I’m so proud!! You make me proud!!!” Really? I had no idea you were proud of your daughter. She must be so special. I feel really, really bad for this poor girl. There’s just no way that this is the first time her mother’s acted like this. That poor girl is DAMAGED goods.
1. Hockey Mom has terrible potty mouth.
What can you really say about this video? One minute the lady is just having a nice conversation with the person next to her, the next minute she’s calling a bunch of teenagers “c*** s****ing pieces of s****”. Perfect example of the Momma bear instinct just taking over her brain. Nothing you can do about that.
Does your Mom ever get like this? Any good mom freakout stories are welcomed in the comments to keep the conversation going.