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Is there anything less appealing than being a landlord in Massachusetts? Dealing with some of Worcester’s finest on a daily basis might look like fun, but when they don’t pay their rent and they trash your property, and you can’t get them out of your apartment because they have more rights than you do, it’s not so cute anymore.
Well apparently in Worcester housing court there is a landlord from Spencer who is trying to evict a guy named Daniel Routhier. Unfortunately for the landlord this has led to a countersuit in housing court from Mr. Routhier, claiming that he wants $500,000 from the landlord for giving him gonorrhea and making his cat “fertile.” Oh yea, and he has a witness that basically makes his case a slam dunk, can’t lose judgement in his favor:
Good thing he is acting as his own attorney. He obviously knows what he’s doing. Mr. Routhier is alleging that the upstairs neighbors are using these electronic weapons to rob his penis of sperm, and they’re being paid for it, more than likely by the landlord. He also was forced to murder his own cat and the landlord is bugging his apartment:
But wait, there’s more. He is being followed by a “big dish,” that is aimed at him. This dish is female, and “knows all the answers,” which are apparently in the form of websites. Additionally, he has enclosed as evidence a statement from God himself:
Brilliant strategy right there. Oh, you’ve got witnesses? That’s cute. My star witness is God. Checkmate. Judgement for the defendant for half a million dollars. Here is what God told him in the sworn affidavit:
So basically God told him that he’s getting these STD’s from the electronic weapons his neighbors are aiming at him. And God has seen this happen to other people, and the only cure for it is lots of money. Brilliant.
He even wrote a letter to the judge, informing his or her honor that the neighbors are hurting his cat by injecting “something” into the feline in order to make him fertile. He also believes that the neighbors are bringing in another animal and forcing it to have sex with his cat. So please give him money:
They also destroyed his furniture and are on drugs, while he minds his own business:
He also received a weird phone call from the Dana Farber Cancer Institute, asking him if he was being robbed:
And of course the landlord is actively conspiring with the tenants who possess these electronic weapons to make sure that he does not get judgement in his favor:
Just another day in Spencer!!! Who wouldn’t wanna be a landlord? Who wouldn’t wanna sign up to deal with people who accuse you of giving them sexually transmitted diseases, impregnating your cat, and suing you for $500,000 because God told them that the only cure was cash money? Sounds like fun!!!
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