St. Bonaventure Fans Are Emasculating Turtleboy After Destroying Derek Kellogg, UMass Basketball

st. bonaventure

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I’ve been saying it for about three or four years now, but UMass basketball yahoos just can’t come to grips with it – Derek Kellogg is an AWFUL coach and he should be fired. I would literally kill a man for UMass basketball. I want nothing more than to see them get back to the Marcus Camby glory days. But this 7-7 abortion of a basketball team is a disgrace this season. What I just had to sit through in a 69-55 home loss to St. Bonaventure in the Atlantic 10 opener for both teams was a disgrace to humanity. UMass will never, ever be relevant with this man at the helm:


One of the many, many St. Bonaventure fans who is trolling us right now on Twitter hit the nail on the head when he said this:

He is 100% right. I’ve been going after Kellogg’s insane hair gel for years. If this guy put half the time into game planning and learning how to coach as he did to gelling up his hair we might be a decent basketball team. But instead so far this season UMass has lost

  • by 22 to LSU
  • by 20 to Providence
  • by 9 at home to Florida Gulf Coast
  • by 15 at home to St. Bonaventure
  • by 13 to Notre Dame

Not even close. 100% emasculation like you read about. On it seems like people are FINALLY starting to realize that Kellogg sucks. We’ve been saying it for years and all we ever hear in response is nonsense about three straight 20 win seasons, and the fact that he’s not gonna ditch the program like Calipari and Travis Ford did. You know why that is? Because no one wants him. He just led this team back to the NCAA tournament last year and NO ONE tried to poach him from us.

Coaches need a fire to them to motivate the kids they coach. Kellogg never, ever gets in these guys’ faces. Instead he spends most of the game running up and down the floor yelling at the refs. Newsflash – the refs don’t matter when you’re losing by 20. I want coaches that do this to their players when they suck:



West Virginia coach Bob Huggins yells at Deniz Kilicli in the first half of their NCAA men's college basketball game against Gonzaga University



John Calipari


You can just feel the anger and disappointment. Instead we have a coach with five million assistants and too much hair gel who can’t coach his way out of a paper bag.

For those of you who are new to the blog the original Turtleboy Sports trolls aren’t Ferguson protesters, or Apple Daddy, or Big E lover, or Bills fans. Nope, the original instigators were St. Bonaventure fans. They actually trademarked the term “fuck boi” and bombarded us with magnificent hateful comments last year around this time. I had no idea this school, whose colors are yellow, white, and poop, even had fans until last year. It turns out they’re some of the most vile you will ever see.

A lot of these wonderful degenerates happen to be Bills fans too because St. Bonaventure is pretty much in Buffalo. Yea, I know Olean is like an hour and half away, but no one gives a shit because it’s all just one gigantic Buffalo cesspool in upstate New York. I haven’t heard from these people because they hibernate in their poop colored school until UMass appears on the schedule.

st. bonaventure

And today they made their triumphant return to Turtleboy Sports by rightfully emasculating me on the Twitter machine in a manner which is so St. Bonaventure it hurts:

Boom. Roasted. I am so gay.


Not really. You people frighten me!!

Well played.

Yes, they called me a fuck boi!!! You know you’ve pretty much hit rock bottom when you’re being trolled by this guy:


The worst part is he’s 100% right. I have no comeback. We really, really suck.

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7 Comment(s)
  • Non Sequitor
    January 4, 2015 at 5:26 pm

    From Boners:
    “Considering your the premiere public university for an entire state your success rate js pathetic when compared to the premier public universities in most other states. ”

    And I’m guessing you did NOT attend one of those premier uni’s.

    Way to take one for the team turtleboy. Although Moo-Mass has never been my team……

  • UMass Sucks
    January 4, 2015 at 12:28 pm

    I have never met a person who goes to UMass and liked as a person. Not one. You’re a special breed of stupid and your article is about a coach’s gel, not that your team that you would kill for is completely awful. I’d wear a brown jersey every day if it means watching the Bonnies beat UMass. This blog is a disgrace and I enjoy using it as what not to do when writing about sports. Oh and let’s not forget, the Bills have everything to do with the Bonnies. That “suburb of Toronto”. Pathetic.

    • Finnish Goalie
      January 4, 2015 at 3:13 pm

      Well, clicks and views seem alright for a blog that revolves around Worcester and makes no qualms on the fact. What’s your template?

  • Bonas
    January 3, 2015 at 11:40 pm

    Lololol Spark Man with the trump card.

    “Glory days” of Camby lol. Yeah, those few good years in which you had allegations following the loss of Calipari. Looking at your history I think it’s safe to say those “glory years” were more like a fluke. Considering your the premiere public university for an entire state your success rate js pathetic when compared to the premier public universities in most other states.

    And the best part is Bonnie’s suck this year. Congrats, you got blown out by the same team who lost to MD Eastern Shore of the MEAC.

    • Finnish Goalie
      January 4, 2015 at 9:19 am

      There should be some sort of Turtleboy Trophy for this matchup. I’ll put my ignorance out for the world to see, do they play each other every year?

      • dotymanor
        January 4, 2015 at 9:33 am

        Yes they place twice a year often because they’re both in the Atlantic 10.

        • Finnish Goalie
          January 4, 2015 at 3:13 pm

          Ah, very good.

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