St. Louis Rams’ Michael Sam Officially On My Shit List After Agreeing to Reality TV Show About His Gay Lifestyle With Oprah

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(ESPN) – The Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN) announced on Wednesday that it had purchased the rights to a documentary series that will follow the life of Michael Sam. Terms were undisclosed, but sources said that negotiations to make the deal took two months. “We are honored that Michael is trusting us with his private journey in this moment that has not only made history but will shape it forever,” said Winfrey, in a statement. “I am proud of the focus on authentic storytelling in our new documentary series format. The next real-life story we follow in ‘The Untitled Michael Sam Project’ promises to spark valuable, important discussion on life in America today. Acceptance and illumination start here.” “If seeing my story helps somebody else accept who they are and to go for their dreams too, that’s great,” Sam said, in a statement. “I am thankful to Oprah for her support and excited to work together.” Sources say the plan is for the series to be broken up in to six to eight segments. His agents Cameron Weiss and Joe Barkett are producers, as is Sam’s publicist Howard Bragman.

Alright that’s it. I’ve officially had it with Michael Sam. Sorry bud, but I was one of your supporters for a while there, but it turns out you’re just a giant fraud. Newsflash dude – you’re not that good. You were BARELY drafted, you sucked at the combine, and you have earned absolutely nothing. You claim that you want to focus on football and you want people to judge you for your ability on the field.

Well, we all agreed to do that and now you’re pulling this shit. The St. Louis Rams had a press conference on ESPN the other day with all of their draft picks. They called int the “Michael Sam Press Conference.” It’s pretty obvious at this point that none of this has anything to do with football. It has to do with you realizing that your NFL career isn’t gonna last that long so you’re finding ways to market yourself as best you can. Well done.


Remember when every feel good do-gooder out there called NFL GM’s bigots for suggesting that Michael Sam would be a distraction? Where are these people now? The Rams suck, and they’ve sucked for a while now. They’re trying to build a winning football team and now, thanks to Michael Sam, they’ve become a giant circus. Is it any wonder why the Patriots, a team that LOVES value guys, weren’t even willing to deal with the baggage that apparently Michael Sam planned on bringing along with him? The Hooded One obviously has no interest in these type of sideshows, because of course he is trying to win Super Bowls.

Oh yea, and way to completely fuck over the team that took a chance on you by the way. Did you ever think for a second that Jeff Fisher wouldn’t want training camp to turn into “The Gay Hard Knocks?” No? But, fuck them right? Now you’ve put them in a position (without consulting them first) in which they have to choose between being labeled as a bigot by the media who is obsessed with you by telling you that you can’t do this show, or just go along with the freak show and the distractions. Nothing selfish about that at all.

Turns out everything Michael Sam has done so far is a bullshit lie. That kiss he did when he was drafted with his boyfriend Vito? How many times was that practiced and choreographed? All the anticipation of him sitting there waiting to get drafted? Yes, I’m sure there wasn’t someone in the room telling him to look upset and disappointed. In retrospect I should’ve seen the theatrics beyond images like this:


Hey Mike, do you think Oprah gives a flying fuck about your football career? Nope. Oprah cares about making money, and you’re helping her do that. If Michael Sam were a genuine human being he would be dodging the limelight as much as possible. But the problem is that he clearly views himself as a gay man first, and a professional football player second. That’s a bad recipe for a seventh round draft pick.

Name one professional athlete whose athletic career has ever benefitted from a reality TV show. T.O.? Chad Johnson? I saw AJ McCarron is starting his own show too. Yes, he’s a fucking fraud too. Anyone who is willing to let cameras follow around their every move is a narcissistic dooshnozzle. Normal people don’t want cameras in their face all the time. They want to go about their business and maintain some level of privacy. But “look at me” assholes like Kardashians don’t mind it. That’s the company you just joined. Congrats.

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I thought you were serious about your NFL career. I thought you wanted to prove that gay people could break barriers and compete in the greatest sport on earth. You know why Tom Brady succeeded after being drafted in the sixth round? Because the dude is a fucking winner. That’s why. He used the fact that no one believed in him as motivation. He became the ultimate student of the game. He was a good teammate and held a mighty fine clipboard for Drew Bledsoe. He worked on his game and found ways to better himself as a football player. That’s what winners do.

But it turns out you’re not a winner Michael Sam. You’re just a giant marketing ploy. You might be the next topic of a Macklemore song, but you’re not gonna be an NFL player. I will however, almost guarantee the second the Rams cut you for being slow and terrible you will have an army of people behind you that know absolutely nothing about football. Like for instance, here’s what some dingbat at Deadspin wrote:

“it doesn’t suck, it’s actually terrific news.”

Please tell me in what remote fucking universe this is ‘terrific” news? What’s terrific about it? That he’s joining the ranks of Tori Spelling, Paris Hilton, and Snooki? That the first gay NFL player can’t come into the league without his own reality TV show? That young gay black football player boys will have a role model with a reality TV show that centers on his lifestyle instead of his occupation? Yea, that’s super terrific alright. Here’s what the idiot writer went on to say….

“Anyone who demonstrates the strength, poise and courage Sam has after knowingly thrusting him- or her-self into the middle of a national maelstrom at least deserves the benefit of the doubt.”

First of all, of all the words he could’ve used he chose “thrusting?” Just saying. Anyway, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – I applaud gay athletes who openly come out of the closet like this. I frown on people who say that they should keep it to themselves. But idiots like this take it way too far. All people like this are doing are legitimizing homophobic people’s fears. This is exactly what they predicted would happen. I said it wouldn’t, but it did. They were right and I was wrong.

As a UMass fan I’m worried about the effect this will have on Derrick Gordon. I love DG as a player. He developed a lot this season. The last thing I need him doing is following gin Sam’s lead and focusing more on publicizing his private life than shooting free throws and developing a left hand.

Feel free to share your thoughts to keep the conversation going.

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