This is Keith Chouinard, owner of Talk of the Town, an antique, shabby chic, crystals & gemstones, silk arrangements, handmade designer soap, Incense, holistic products & services store in Ware.

He also does a lot of tarot card readings and categorizes his business as “Alternative & Holistic Health Service.”

Definitely a man of science. Totally not a scam artist.

He sells tickets to “reincarnation” events for $50 on his Eventbrite page and claims that he already knew everything that has happened to him in his life in advance because he can see into the future.

Wonder if he saw the Turtleboy blog in his tarot cards.

He also suffered from “pre-PTSD” as a child.

Because that’s a thing.

Considering his background in science he is also well suited to lecture others about which masks are effective in stopping the spread of COVID and which ones aren’t.

Spoiler alert – masks don’t work at all. If they did then states without mask mandates would have much higher rates of transmission, but instead the opposite happens.

The other day in his store a mother came in with her 11 month old baby. She had a mask on, per the governor’s order, but of course the little semen demon did not because he’s a baby and the order exempts kid under the age of 2 from smothering themselves with a face diaper.

We are the only country on earth that makes kids as young as 2 wear masks, and the long term effects of children not being able to see their friends smile for over a year will probably have long term psychological damages. But as long as adults feel safe from these killer children that’s all that matters. Three year olds are a serious threat to you, but if they put a cheap piece of fabric over their mouth and nose that threat gets eliminated. Science.

Anyway, Stone Cold Face Frostin apparently didn’t get the memo that babies are exempt from the mask mandate because according to the mother’s review on Talk of the Town’s Facebook page, she wasn’t allowed inside with her baby.

There’s two sides to every story though, and when I see a review like this that makes the other party look cartoonishly evil, I always question whether it not it happened like that. Telling women to leave their 11 month old babies at home or smother them with a mask? Surely no one could be that stupid.

But as it turns out it did happen exactly like this, which Keith tried to deny but then admitted to in the comments underneath the review.

“We didn’t tell you he had to wear a mask.”

“We told you no one is allowed in the store without a mask.”

The mental gymnastics you have to complete to reach the conclusion is mind boggling. He’s not banning the baby from his store, he’s saving the baby’s life! Because lots of 11 month old babies have died from COVID. It’s a real problem.

Oh wait, no one under the age of 20 has died from COVID in Massachusetts. Not one. Nor is there any documented instances of babies passing COVID onto adults.

“The other customers that were in the store when you came in thanked us afterwards for trying to protect your child.”

1. This never happened. I know it’s Ware, but no one is stupid enough to think a baby can die from COVID.
2. Everyone else in the store has a mask on, so if masks work then what does the baby have to worry about?
3. Imagine what a cowardly toolbag you have to be to need protection from an 11 month old baby because they might give you a virus with a 99.9% recovery rate

This dumbass thought it would be good customer service to tell single Moms that they’re not welcome in his store. Either that or just pay for a babysitter so that he can feel safe from a killer toddler and the carbon dioxide they emit into the atmosphere.

Instead of just letting it go he kept going at it with this mother and threatened to call the cops.

Which he did.

He then made a post telling people that “you would think praise is in order” for him, considering all the lives he saved by protecting society from a baby.

Yes, the insane thing here is the reaction, not your request to smother an 11 month old baby. Keith’s not insane at all. He’s a science expert.

He then spun what happened into some stream of consciousness bullshit, meant to sound like he wasn’t in fact a con-artist.

He did have his supporters though.

Private businesses can kick out whoever they want for whatever reason they want. Now do black people at lunch counters in Mississippi.

The point here, which of course went way above Tessa’s simple little head, is that Keith misunderstands or is ignorant about the governor’s order. It’s not his rule he thinks he’s enforcing, it’s the governor’s rule. And according to the governor babies don’t have to wear masks, nor should they.

Keith likely had his customers post a bunch of good reviews on his page, and these people totally do NOT sound like they’re in a cult.

Kicking babies out of stores makes you want to be a better person. Normal.

Kids frequently buy crystals and incense. Sure thing.

Yes, babies can’t wear masks, therefore they should remain indoors indefinitely until Rachel Kennen feels safe.

Who witnessed it? He literally admitted he did it. Stop being a hippocates, Manda.

“It’s about protecting children from this disease which poses no threat to children whatsoever. Stop listening to the CDC. They don’t know anything about infectious disease. Children are dying from COVID!!!”

Zero grandparents have died because they got COVID from an 11 month old baby. Zero. This literally never happened, but Manda is the smart one here.

And if you disagree with her anti-science take it means you’re a conspiracy theorist.

The bottom line is that Keith Chouinard is a science denying fraud who hates babies and single moms, and doesn’t understand how the First Amendment works. Luckily he can see into the future so he knew this blog was coming.

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