Nudniks

Stoughton Salami Slinger Offering Half The Women On The South Shore Money, Free Rent, And Lube Jobs If They Take A Ride On His Spam Javelin, Then Calls Them Drug Addicted Crackwhores When They Turn Him Down

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This is Jeffrey Hopkins from Stoughton:

BOING.

Today he elected to go on the cesspool known as Threw Up In Fall River and announce to the world that another woman has been offering to slurp up his salami in exchange for dope:

Except that wasn’t true. Turns out he messages strange women, tries to hit on them by offering them cash, and then stalks them relentlessly when they decide that they will not be sampling the cervix scraper.

It’s hard to see there but it usually starts with a bunch of $100 bills, which he likely pirated from Google images. When this doesn’t work (because they’re not hookers) he tells them they’re gorgeous, and asks them really appropriate questions like, are you thick, do you like to get spoiled, and are you single?

When that doesn’t work he takes pictures of what he claims are his bank account statements, because then she’ll totally wanna jump on board the spam javelin.

Whoa!!! $13K in checking? If you like gingers I know one who answers messages for us and would love to take a trip to ginger poundtown for the pin code to that bank account.

According to the Stoughton Salami Slinger he’s not afraid of anyone because he “used to be a marine”:

Oh, and the woman he was rejected by after offering her cash is pregnant.

Ouch.

Naturally once he realizes he has no shot with the woman he puts her on blast and accuses her of being a drug addict:

And if you have something negative to say about the way he courts the ladies he will have one of his “bitches fuck you up n make you drink out of a straw”:

But what if we like drinking out of straws? Will you spank me then big boy?

After victim #1 came forward so to did another, with variations of the same story……

So there actually ARE guys out there who offer free rent in apartments they don’t own in exchange for sex with woman who they assume are junkies. Maybe the Gardner Grundle Gremlin wasn’t lying after all.

And guys, if a girl doesn’t call or text you back, you should probably just keep on calling and texting:

Because that REALLY gets our lady bits revving.

All of a sudden it was #MeToo central in TUIFR:

This is why you’re crazy not to carry mace in your purse on the south shore. Because there is no shortage of chudbangers like this.

Of course she got the same messages as the rest…..

“I own my own business.”

Figured he was full of shit at first. But turns out he actually owns a power washing company in Brockton:

Here’s their Facebook. Do NOT leave him one star reviews!!!

He’s also got a state of the art website which contains his phone number and……that’s about it.

Anyway, we reached out to Jeffrey for comment but he is refusing to speak with us. Come on Jeffrey, for the first time in your sad, pathetic ginger existence someone with a vagina is actually trying to speak to you. Don’t play hard to get on me!!

4 Comment(s)
  • Kristen
    August 17, 2018 at 1:44 pm

    Omg!!! I can’t believe even after this Turtleboy exposing him, he’s still up to the same tricks. He just paid my friends electric bill last week, rejected due to insufficient funds. Not to mention all the messages he just sent me offering $2k for a pic of my breasts!! Lmfaoooo

  • Ashleigh
    July 22, 2018 at 10:36 pm

    I’ve been dealing with this shitbags craziness for almost 20 years!! I was 13 he was around 20! He’s stolen pics from my page and posted them on his page as his wife… he’s friend requested everyone on my list.. he used to call my house and ask me creepy questions and say he was close by!! Total creeep!

  • Wabbitt
    June 14, 2018 at 7:25 pm

    Desk Girl must be drenched right now. Just SPLOOSH.

  • Screw PC
    June 14, 2018 at 4:29 pm

    “Because that REALLY gets our lady bits revving.”

    “Come on Jeffrey, for the first time in your sad, pathetic ginger existence someone with a vagina is actually trying to speak to you. Don’t play hard to get on me!!”

    Was this article ghost written for Turtleboy by SSTG or another one of the ladies?

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