Follow @TurtleboyNews on Twitter by clicking here.
Follow Turtleboy on Instagram by clicking here.
Follow and like the Turtleboy Sports Forever, and Clarence Woods Emerson to keep up with the hilarious turtle rider commentary.
Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at Turtleboysports@gmail.com for more information.
If you like free speech and want to support what we’re doing, feel free to donate to the Turtle fund:
Hey fam – if you’d like to support Turtleboy and what we do here, feel free to hit the donate button at the top. We basically have to run this site like a Bernie Sanders campaign now since we’ve been blacklisted by Google and Facebook, due to the fact that rabid SJWs keep reporting our posts. Getting blacklisted by Google is a death sentence for most websites, since it’s much harder to monetize. And we all know the damage Facebook has done. We’re never going to stop fighting for free speech, but in the meantime the best way for turtle riders to fight back is to donate to the cause. Without you people none of this is possible. We love you all.
We’ve seen some pretty ridiculous skanktacular GoFundMe scams in the past, but we’ve never seen anything quite like this sausage smoker out Stoughton……
This is the greatest GFM in the history of ratchetry. She needs $2,000, and this is how it breaks down:
- $1,000 goes to her debts from falling for a Nigerian prince email scam
- $1,000 goes to bus fare to pole dancing class and hooker boots so she can start learning how to become a successful stripper
After she excels in the world of lap dances and builds her confidence up in doing so, she will move on to “bigger things like acting,” because obviously Hollywood is calling her name, but they won’t hire her until she gets the day shift gig at Club Alex. Oh, and the money she makes from taking off the clothes which you will be paying for with this GFM will be used to pay for her college tuition at an unnamed but very prestigious university of her choice.
Shut up and take my money!!
Whachu talkin bout Phyllis? pic.twitter.com/HVDN09DnnX
— Party Waren Kebber (@WebbDawgTG) August 7, 2018
Obviously she will transition easily into the world of exotic dancing, since she clearly has the body for it.
Dat ass!! pic.twitter.com/ZdXKFJPo8v
— Party Waren Kebber (@WebbDawgTG) August 7, 2018
And men at strip clubs love the smell of a greased up hippie on an acid trip
I love hanging around people who don't believe in showering!! pic.twitter.com/JQOAX9Vy2W
— Party Waren Kebber (@WebbDawgTG) August 7, 2018
So she’ll probably kill it with tips.
Who wouldn’t pay for this tall glass of cooterjuice to rub against their blue jeans?
Get it girl!! pic.twitter.com/dSKS4vJSI5
— Party Waren Kebber (@WebbDawgTG) August 7, 2018
And she already has some friends who can show her some pointers.
HOT!!! pic.twitter.com/0lebmzMH2k
— Party Waren Kebber (@WebbDawgTG) August 7, 2018
Uncle Turtleboy isn’t gonna be on Live this week, but I’m sure Manch and Bret would love to have her on. Hit us up girl!
25 Comment(s)
Holy smokes,I don’t know where Bret is on this, but we have to call this pole dancing punani pound cake! This is going to be awesome!
There’s a class on how to grind on a penis? That’s ratchet 101? You’re telling me these ratchets can’t even be bothered to learn ratchet 101 they need a gofund-me for that? Darwinism has to kick in at some point…right?
What are these ghettos coming to? Will they just self implode or we just all going down the tubes with them?
She is sooooo ugly! That face would stop a clock.
She needs to raise those funds the old fashioned way. One sweaty, drunk blowjob out behind the 7-11 at a time.
i might be inclined to help invest in her future if she’s down with getting the gastro chute whitewashed with tube steak schnizz.
I think the ‘Bri’ means BRIAN. If she/it really needs lessons on being a stripper, she better take them from Stevie wonder.
Prit-ty sure that’s a dude.
Yep.
Prit-ty sure.
She need some milk
What’s with the creepy guy playing pool pocket in the picture? Sex offender much?
You can’t police who start a Gofundme or what it’s for. Anyone can start one.
true, and anyone ratchet enough to start one like this deserves to be humiliated for everyone else’s entertainment HAHAHA
If I saw that ugly baboon dancing in a strip club I would walk strait back outside and never return. Strippers are suppose to be attractive and sexy and desirable.
The guy in the last picture actually was a stripper at Mardi gras in Springfield. He’s a fat slob that doesn’t see or take care of his 2 kids and rumor has it isn’t too “clean” but hey, figures they’d be friends. You are who you hang out with.
Sweetie you don’t have the “talents” to be a stripper…..be a little original if you want to make bank….
Go take a nap on a couch in an empty building on a college campus
Could you throw up a few more pics of chocolate pie please? Some of us don’t go on Facebook and id like some spank bank material. Thank you
Holy Fuck
If that’s her ambition then good for her. The world needs pole dancers and They’re all pink in the middle.
Hideous. Looks like a young and less liver spotted Danny Glover. (Sorry Murtaugh)
She was at a psy trance party. I thought those stopped 5 years ago.
Id happily start a GFY for her.
Karen Webber must fucking hate you guys…
Keep up the good work.
Party Warren Kebber is Turtleboy you stupid Nig. Try to keep up.
And Karen Webber is the real life person being mocked by turtleboy who would in turn have a very good reason to hate him. Hes not falling behind hes about to lap you, “stupid nig”!
Actually the go fund me clearly says her name is Bri, so you’re all stupid.
I bet stripper school works out better than Smith College…
Gross.