Hoodrat Heroes

Stoughton Sausage Smoker Starts $2,000 GoFundMe To Pay For Stripper Training, Busfare To Pole Dancing Classes, And To Pay Off Debts From Nigerian Prince Email Scam She Fell For

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We’ve seen some pretty ridiculous skanktacular GoFundMe scams in the past, but we’ve never seen anything quite like this sausage smoker out Stoughton……

This is the greatest GFM in the history of ratchetry. She needs $2,000, and this is how it breaks down:

  • $1,000 goes to her debts from falling for a Nigerian prince email scam
  • $1,000 goes to bus fare to pole dancing class and hooker boots so she can start learning how to become a successful stripper

After she excels in the world of lap dances and builds her confidence up in doing so, she will move on to “bigger things like acting,” because obviously Hollywood is calling her name, but they won’t hire her until she gets the day shift gig at Club Alex. Oh, and the money she makes from taking off the clothes which you will be paying for with this GFM will be used to pay for her college tuition at an unnamed but very prestigious university of her choice.

Shut up and take my money!!

Obviously she will transition easily into the world of exotic dancing, since she clearly has the body for it.

And men at strip clubs love the smell of a greased up hippie on an acid trip

So she’ll probably kill it with tips.

Who wouldn’t pay for this tall glass of cooterjuice to rub against their blue jeans?

And she already has some friends who can show her some pointers.

Uncle Turtleboy isn’t gonna be on Live this week, but I’m sure Manch and Bret would love to have her on. Hit us up girl!

25 Comment(s)
  • Manchester Turtlette
    August 8, 2018 at 1:02 pm

    Holy smokes,I don’t know where Bret is on this, but we have to call this pole dancing punani pound cake! This is going to be awesome!

    • Lala
      August 10, 2018 at 2:09 pm

      There’s a class on how to grind on a penis? That’s ratchet 101? You’re telling me these ratchets can’t even be bothered to learn ratchet 101 they need a gofund-me for that? Darwinism has to kick in at some point…right?
      What are these ghettos coming to? Will they just self implode or we just all going down the tubes with them?

  • Yuck
    August 8, 2018 at 7:52 am

    She is sooooo ugly! That face would stop a clock.

  • Turd Reversalist
    August 7, 2018 at 11:41 pm

    She needs to raise those funds the old fashioned way. One sweaty, drunk blowjob out behind the 7-11 at a time.
    i might be inclined to help invest in her future if she’s down with getting the gastro chute whitewashed with tube steak schnizz.

  • TJB
    August 7, 2018 at 8:07 pm

    I think the ‘Bri’ means BRIAN. If she/it really needs lessons on being a stripper, she better take them from Stevie wonder.

  • Peter Griffin
    August 7, 2018 at 7:38 pm

    Prit-ty sure that’s a dude.
    Yep.
    Prit-ty sure.

  • Cleon Skousen
    August 7, 2018 at 7:21 pm

    She need some milk

  • Damn
    August 7, 2018 at 6:15 pm

    What’s with the creepy guy playing pool pocket in the picture? Sex offender much?

  • HAHAHA
    August 7, 2018 at 5:53 pm

    You can’t police who start a Gofundme or what it’s for. Anyone can start one.

    • ninja turtleboy
      August 7, 2018 at 9:40 pm

      true, and anyone ratchet enough to start one like this deserves to be humiliated for everyone else’s entertainment HAHAHA

  • Baboon Stripper
    August 7, 2018 at 5:49 pm

    If I saw that ugly baboon dancing in a strip club I would walk strait back outside and never return. Strippers are suppose to be attractive and sexy and desirable.

  • Jordan the fatty
    August 7, 2018 at 5:49 pm

    The guy in the last picture actually was a stripper at Mardi gras in Springfield. He’s a fat slob that doesn’t see or take care of his 2 kids and rumor has it isn’t too “clean” but hey, figures they’d be friends. You are who you hang out with.

  • Yuck
    August 7, 2018 at 5:17 pm

    Sweetie you don’t have the “talents” to be a stripper…..be a little original if you want to make bank….

    Go take a nap on a couch in an empty building on a college campus

  • Bussa Nut
    August 7, 2018 at 5:05 pm

    Could you throw up a few more pics of chocolate pie please? Some of us don’t go on Facebook and id like some spank bank material. Thank you

  • Let me up, I've had enough
    August 7, 2018 at 4:28 pm

    Holy Fuck

  • Honest Abe
    August 7, 2018 at 2:55 pm

    If that’s her ambition then good for her. The world needs pole dancers and They’re all pink in the middle.

  • Will Crusher
    August 7, 2018 at 1:54 pm

    Hideous. Looks like a young and less liver spotted Danny Glover. (Sorry Murtaugh)

  • Former trancer
    August 7, 2018 at 1:37 pm

    She was at a psy trance party. I thought those stopped 5 years ago.

  • ncfoothillbilly
    August 7, 2018 at 1:27 pm

    Id happily start a GFY for her.

  • Jack Straw from Wichita
    August 7, 2018 at 1:01 pm

    Karen Webber must fucking hate you guys…

    Keep up the good work.

    • Wake up
      August 7, 2018 at 2:34 pm

      Party Warren Kebber is Turtleboy you stupid Nig. Try to keep up.

      • TortugaNiño
        August 7, 2018 at 2:47 pm

        And Karen Webber is the real life person being mocked by turtleboy who would in turn have a very good reason to hate him. Hes not falling behind hes about to lap you, “stupid nig”!

        • Heisenberg
          August 8, 2018 at 9:11 pm

          Actually the go fund me clearly says her name is Bri, so you’re all stupid.

  • Benny Wall
    August 7, 2018 at 1:01 pm

    I bet stripper school works out better than Smith College…

  • Uncle Randy
    August 7, 2018 at 1:00 pm

    Gross.

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