Super Bowl Prop Bets From Turtleboy, Part 3

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Welcome to Round 3 of our Super Bowl prop bets. As the day inches closer I find myself getting more and more aroused. Not just for the game itself but for the prop bets. Here’s five more for ya in our ongoing series for gambling degenerates…

1. Will Bill Belichick smile during the game on camera?

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Wouldn’t you smile if you knew you were about to win the Super Bowl? The answer is a resounding yes on this one.

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2. Total passing yards for Tom Brady – over/under 260.5?

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The only games that Brady doesn’t throw over 260 yards are games where the Patriots are fluke games. The first four weeks of the season don’t count because the Patriots weren’t trying yet. But since then he’s thrown over 260 yards in 9 of 14 games. The only games where he didn’t were Buffalo (Patriots literally weren’t trying), the Jets, Green Bay (barely under), and Indy twice (because why throw when you can just run it down their gullets?). There’s no way they keep the greatest quarterback ever under 260.5. Way over.

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3. How long will it take Idina Menzel to sing the US National Anthem – over/under 2:01?

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I take this bet more seriously than any other. I put research into it and usually it’s the best I am most confident in. I always lose it. Christina Aguilera completely fucked me over one year when she left out a bunch of words. Then stupid Alicia Keys wouldn’t shut up that one year and set the world record in the longest over/under (2:10) in Super Bowl history. This year I love the under. Alicia Keys is still the only person who has gone over 2:00 in the Super Bowl. At the MLB All-Star game my girl Idina went for 1:53:

In 2007 she sang the Patriots final regular season game against the Giants to cap off their 16-0 regular season (it hurts to write that one). Her time? 1:45

The problem with her is she’s one of those “artist” types. Sings the whole thing with no rhythm just to prove a point. She likes to hold some notes and do other ones really quickly. At the end of the day it’s just too long for an over/under though. Under 2:01 should be an easy one. Should be.


4. Which region will have the higher Nielsen rating? Boston or Seattle? 

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I have no idea what a Nielsen rating is, but I know that the Boston metropolitan area is significantly larger than Seattle’s. At least it should be because it’s a million times more important. How the hell is Boston the underdog here? More free money. Boston is the obvious bet here.



5. Total combined FD yardage by both teams – over/under 114.5 yards?

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This one pretty much comes down to how many field goals they’re gonna kick. I say at least four. Both teams have good kickers. It’s in a controlled environment. Both teams have defenses that can stop drives and force you to kick it. If they kick four field goals and they average 30 yards then this one’s easily going over.

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1 Comment(s)
  • Dr Kyle Turtleboy
    January 27, 2015 at 10:02 pm

    As a weather prognasticator, it’s clear that there is a storm rolling through New England Saturday night which will cause some poor saps to be withoit power, causing the Boston Ratings to go down. Money in the bank

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