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As you know the hippie boycott of Turtleboy Sports sponsors continues to be the least effective boycott in the history of boycotts. So far it has involved Chris Robarge, Jonathan Hardy-Lavoie, Joyce McNickles, Dana Remian, and some other social justice warriors copying and pasting a spam email and sending it to anyone who dares partake in capitalism. That’s why it’s more important than ever to support the Turtleboy Sports sponsors. Because the bad guys don’t get to win. We stand by all of our sponsors and encourage you to do the same. So once a month we’re going to a Turtleboy Sponsor’s Blog, in which we briefly let you know who we’re partnering with this month (ads are month by month) and why you should do business with them. Here’s April’s sponsors….

Ann Marie Bartlett, Realtor – Professional Representation of Buyers and Sellers.

Our primary demographic is the 25-34 range, so we know that a lot of you people out there are looking to buy what possibly could be your first home. She helps buyers and sellers all over Worcester as well as Shrewsbury, Auburn, West Boylston, Paxton, and Holden. When I bought a home I went with a realtor a friend recommended. Well if you’re looking to buy or sell a home and you’re reading this right now then Turtleboy is your friend, and he’s telling you to call up Ann-Marie. Mention Turtleboy and she’ll give you $250 back at the closing table if you list with her.

Julio’s Liquors, Westborough. 

Have you ever been to this place before. It’s like the BJ’s of liquor stores except you don’t have to pay a membership. It’s ginormous, and the selection of wine, whiskey, and beer is second to none. Even from Worcester it’s no more than a 15 minute trip. Trust me, it’s worth it. It’s like Disney World for adults. People drive hours to get there. They have a blog, podcast, tasting room, smoke shop, gift baskets and many more cool stuff you can check out on Julio’s website. Tell em Turtleboy sent you.

JJM Insurance

This family owned business in Tatnuck Square is a staple of the community. The Marshall family has been this Turtleboy’s agent since I began driving. Mike Marshall and his father Jim will help you find ways to cut down your monthly payments and decide what you need and what you’re wasting money on. As a matter of fact they started advertising with us after contacting me about ways I can cut down on my monthly car insurance payments. I also get home insurance through them, so they’d be a good fit to couple with Ann Marie Bartlett when you purchase your next home.

Bennie’s Cafe

I had never heard of Bennie’s before they contacted us looking to partner with Turtleboy. But I’ve been back several times because the food is good. The Rueben sandwich is to die for, and they have Keno, tons of TV’s, a full bar, and unlimited free popcorn. Located on West Mountain Street in between Burncoat and West Boylston Streets, I highly recommend hitting this place up if you’re in Worcester, Holden, West Boylton, Shrewsbury, or anywhere really.

Union Tavern

Looking for a place to have some magical good times in the Woo? Look no further than the Union Tavern on Green Street. The drinks are cheap, the crowds are lively, and the atmosphere is second to none. They have two bars and an outdoor patio, just in time for the summer weather.

Pepe’s Restaurant

Located next to the fire station on Franklin Street, the family owned restaurant has long been a Turtleboy favorite. The building they took over is an old mill with an authentic Worcester feel to it. They have still have the building’s original wooden pillars and brick walls, but have since added a bar, an outdoor patio and have live music with bands all the time. Oh yea, and the food is Italian and it’s delicious. Their pizza is next up on the Turtleboy Worcester County Pizza Tour.

Smokestack Urban Barbecue

I shit you not, you will NEVER taste buffalo wings like the one’s you’ll get at Smokestack. Borderline orgasmic. I can’t say enough about the food in this place. When it comes to barbecue food in Worcester, there simply is no competition. They have indoor and outdoor seating and a full bar. When you get your receipt make sure you write, “Turtleboy sent me.” You’ll thank me later.

Car Heaven

I once had a friend with an old Trans Am that he decided to keep on his lawn for what seemed like an eternity. So we started to decorate it for holidays. On Thanksgiving we put a nice harvest spread all over it, and for Christmas we glued Santa to the hood. Apparently once we started gluing dog biscuits to eat the neighbors finally had enough because it became the watering hole for neighborhood dogs. Finally the town of Auburn took it away at his expense. Meanwhile all he had to do to avoid this call up the good folks at Car Heaven who would’ve paid him top dollar to take it off his hands.

Attorney Michael Erlich

My favorite part of the hippie boycott is when they call up a defense attorney and tell them they’re boycotting them. You know what the best way to boycott Michael Erlich is? Don’t get arrested. But in life sometimes, shit happens. You have two glasses of wine with dinner and come across a police checkpoint. Next thing you know your life is flashing in front of your eyes. Mike has a solid reputation as one of Worcester’s finest defense attorneys, and constantly updates his Facebook page with stories about checkpoints, his opinion on cases in the news, and testimonials from his clients. I hope you never need his services, but if you do, you’re in good hands.

North End Motor Sales

These guys have been doing business in northern Worcester for decades. They’re constantly getting new inventory for pre-owned cars because at the prices they sell them they move very quickly. Currently they have no Prius’s in stock, so the hippie boycott is negligible. If you’re looking to buy a quality used car from a reputable dealer, North End Motor Sales is where you wanna go. And quite frankly, anyone who buys a brand new car is a sucker should contact me about purchasing my world famous Nantucket horse ranch.

Scavone Plumbing

I told our marketing consultant to contact Frank Scavone about advertising on Turtleboy because he’s come through in the clutch for me so many times before. My water heater shit the bed, which resulted in a very stinky Turtleboy family. I called up Frank Scavone, left the basement door unlocked for him, and magically came home to a brand new heater installed. The best part was the price. I had called Roto-Rooter a couple days before and the estimate they gave me was three times as high. If you ever have problems with your pipes or water heaters then give Scavone Plumbing and Heating a call, and tell him Turtleboy sent ya.

Zaza Ink

Scientific studies have shown that tattoos are in fact sexy. There’s a million reasons to get tatted up, but only one place Turtleboy recommends for your body art – Zaza Ink in West Boylston. The place is owned by award winning tattoo artist Joe “Zaza” Peterson, who has over 20 years of experience. They also do body piercings if you’re looking to express yourself or wanna stick it to your Dad.

Attorney Anthony Salerno

Another reason I find the hippie boycott of our sponsors hilarious is that they’re purposely missing out on some of the best goods and services from in and around the Woo. I almost feel bad for them. For instance, Tony Salerno is a former State Trooper, and as such has an intricate knowledge of the rights of the accused. So if one of these hippies got pulled over after having a few at the latest protest, why would they boycott someone who could get them out of a jam? I guess they’d rather go to jail. Oh well, I know I always keep my Salerno BAC App handy before I ever think about driving.

Weepin Willie’s 

Everyone knows that sandwiches are all about the meats you use, and nobody has fresher, more delicious meats than Weepin Willie’s. Just looking at that sandwich is getting me all hot and bothered. Located in Auburn and Shrewsbury, you simply won’t find a fresher sandwich in the 508.

Invidium Spa and Salon

Just thinking about Chris Robarge calling up this place and telling them he’s not coming there anymore makes me laugh out loud. Located in the same building as Pepe’s at 274 Franklin Street, Invidium Spa and Salon is a great place to get your hair did and walk out feeling fresh as a daisy.

The Buzz Barber Shop

I was born and raised going to Kay’s barbershop. But after a while I only got the fresh cut from Heather. One day I came in and found out she was gone and had opened her own shop, but they wouldn’t tell me where. Then one day I went into JJM Insurance and saw The Buzz. I peaked inside and what do you know? I found her! Anyway, I’ve been going back ever since. For dudes it’s not just about the haircut – it’s about the atmosphere and the conversation. Sorry ladies, they only do dude haircuts, which actually makes the thought of Joyce McNickles calling them up and threatening not to go there all the more hilarious.

Anyway, it means a lot to us when you go to these places. The fact that they stick around in the face of the bullying from the protesters speaks a lot about their character. This is America and they have a right to advertise with whoever they choose. They picked us not only because they believe in freedom, but because they realize supporting Turtleboy is better for business than boycotting it. If you’d like your business to join the freedom brigade, then send us an email at turtleboysports@gmail.com.

Support the Turtleboy Sponsors, and remember to tell them Turtleboy sent you.

Want to have your business advert seen by over 600,000 people per month? Email us at Turtleboysports@gmail.com for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.

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