Meet Sam Atherton, a level 5 inbox creeper from the slumtastic wasteland of Taunton.
He’s single, ladies. And ready to mingle. He may be, dare I say, Taunton’s most eligible bachelor. Which is sort of like being the smartest kid at your home school, but hey, it’s something, right?
Just look at the panty-dropping smooth talk on this ladykiller.
Wow! Is it hot in here, or did Sam just light a box of kittens on fire? He also handles rejection really, really well.
But hey, if unsolicited verbal abuse isn’t your thing, that’s ok. He’s also a total crooner. Just look at how he blew the judges over at American Idol away a few years ago.
What. A. Fucking. Lunatic. Just think ladies, you could be the lucky one to wake up to this face every morning.
He’s also a total keyboard bad ass, who really reacts appropriately when confronted about bothering random women online.
Be still my pulsing flaps! What a casa-NO-va!
And, oh, yeah….he might be the kind of creep who masturbates in ice cream trucks while eyeballing the neighborhood children.
Or he may just have uncontrollable foot fungus. Maybe both!
“The courts will decide whether it was a lewd sexual act or simply a severe case of athlete’s foot.
A Mister Lemon Frozen Lemonade truck driver arrested Saturday night — for allegedly masturbating while parked in front of a group of children and parents — was back behind the wheel the next day, according to police and his employer.
Police were called to a Mockingbird Lane residence just before 5:30 p.m. to investigate a complaint that a driver for the lemonade/ice cream truck business had been masturbating while sitting inside his truck in the middle of the quiet, East Taunton suburban drive.
Samuel Atherton, 20, 223 Tremont St., was arrested for open and gross lewdness and arraigned Tuesday in Taunton District Court on two counts.
He was unable to post $2,500 cash bail and is being held at the Bristol County House of Correction until a bail review in Fall River District Court.
Atherton was ordered by a district court judge to stay away from children under 16 and not operate or work on a lemonade truck until the case has been settled in his favor, according to court documents.
He was released after his arrest by an assistant clerk magistrate, according to Taunton Police Chief Edward Walsh.
Walsh said the magistrate determined Atherton was not a flight risk nor an immediate threat to the community at large.
Justin Jennings, owner of the Mister Lemon Frozen Lemonade business, acknowledged that he and Atherton, on Sunday, drove to R&F Motors and paid the $128 required to get the truck out of impound and back on the road.
Genest, a minister for a Middleboro church, told police that he, his wife and other adults, who attended a cookout at his house, had just bought some ice cream and lemonade treats for their children when they noticed Atherton acting strangely.
Genest, 31, told cops that Atherton sat in his truck in the middle of the road with the motor running and its familiar carnival-type music playing for as long as 10 minutes after dispensing the treats.
At one point, he said, they noticed Atherton “bobbing his head up and down” with “an intense look on his face,” all the while vigorously moving his arm and shoulder.
“He would look at us and the children and then look away. I thought ‘Holy Cow, something’s wrong with him — is he having a heart attack?’” Genest said.
He said that he approached the truck and observed Atherton with his hand between his legs moving in a “stroking motion” and his trousers down around his ankles.
When confronted, Atherton allegedly removed a sneaker and said that he had been scratching his foot. Genest said Atherton didn’t become defensive or combative and simply drove off.
Shortly after, Genest was taken by police to nearby Hummingbird Lane, where he identified Atherton, who was selling more lemonade, according to Taunton Police Officer Lori Neves.
Neves notes that she was assisted at the scene by off-duty officer Joseph Bolieiro, who happens to live on the street.
Atherton told cops there had been a misunderstanding with a customer on Mockingbird Lane and that he was scratching his foot because he was “really itchy.”
“He then started scratching his arms and legs saying ‘Look, see I’m itchy everywhere,’” according to the police report.
Neves, in her report, also notes that “once Atherton was back at the station all itching appeared to stop.”
Police also reported finding a pipe and small amount of marijuana in the truck, neither for which Atherton was cited.
At the time of his arrest, Atherton had been on pre-trial probation for a June 2009 domestic assault charge involving his two adult sisters.”
So there you have it, girls. If anyone wants to hook up with a perpetually unemployed former ice cream truck driver once arrest for choking his chicken on the job in front of a group of neighborhood kids, including the family of a minister, look him up. You can find him on any one of his multitude of Facebook profiles, and exchange ALL CAPS SWEET NOTHINGS until you work up the nerve to meet up and possible get stitched into a lampshade. You’re welcome.
36 year old man who lives with his 80 year old mother in a 2 bedroom apartment who stares at little screen all day typing about his nephew who he also showed every sick perverted movie to when he was 7 meanwhile my dad busts the fuck in and brings your sorry sick ass to tears! Then got to get you out of another mess for selling 100 LBS OF dope while you stare at his son on social media! FAGGOT WITH A SCHIZOPHRENIC 80 YEAR OLD MOTHER! ROT PEDOPHILE!!! YOU COULD SHED A COUPLE POUNDS TOO WHILE YOU’RE AT IT. BUT NO, JUST SIT AND TYPE TO YOUR SCREEN MUMMYS BOY
What first dope dealing now cyber crimes Mr. Cyr? GO SHOW DIRTY MOVIES TO ANOTHER SIX YEAR OLD!!! FUCKING PEDO
Sam this is jarod lavigne how bout I give you a beating and strangle and drag you around Wacker 223 Winthrop street burn your guitar in front of you too see u soon wacker
NEXT TIME WE TALK IMA BRING YOU TO TEARS MOTHERFUCKER!
Make sure it involves my old man saving yo sorry ass from 10 years in walpole for being a dope dealer MOMMAS BOY!! We done?
Hi Uncle Richard! How’s the GAS STATION treatin ya??? CHUMP GO MAKE A MOVIE ABOUT ME
Wow 40 comments! This has viral written all over it
You guys seem to know alot about me! Anything else you’d like to expose? Rhetorical rhetorical rhetorical
You guys got major issues with me bringing up things from TEN YEARS AGO!! Why do not you face me like someone who has got a pair instead of hiding behind your little computer screen? HUH?
Are you all trying to get a rise out of me? Because thats the drift im getting!
Im from taunton i dunno this dudes a creepazoid first ive heard of any of this lmfao wacking it in a truck thats classic what a disturbed person wtf
Ironic u got arrested for dragging and strangled a girl in taunton. Fucking loser
I’d call him a tard, but that would just be mean.
yeah it’d make retards look bad
This is back when American Idol was somewhat worth watching. They would put untalented assholes like him on & let him make a fool of himself.
Jesus, you faggoty, fedora’d, fuckface…spank your monkey when you get home…
I certainly hope he was arrested for choking a chicken in front of children. I will be contacting the MSPCA first thing Monday morning.
Limerick of the day…..
We know a sad pervert called Sam
Who’s aroused by the sight of a pram,
He can’t get a fuck
So he sits in his truck
And plays with his javelin of spam.
Dude is definiteley not 22 mental age wise. American idol vid he seemed “special”.
Your whimsical use of alliteration, like you, is cute, quaint and cunning.
Holy Stinky Stalker, Batman, shouldn’t this pud pounder be slapped with a severe restraining order? Or just slapped and pounded into the ground?
20 and probably still lives with mom. These 3 things always go together”
1- Adult lives with mom.
2- is attracted to kids or is gay. (why he still lives with mom)
3- Creeps on Facebook.com.
That’s just simple mathematics. This “man” deserves to rot in a cell for years. no pardon or parole. but you libs will probably argue.
Nice fucking hat faggot.
Did it come with a free bowl of soup?
He was one funny MoFo.
Used to use that line as a running joke at work.
But, my favorite is still “Back to School” the Sam Kennison professor scene.
From what I understand those 2 were very good friends.
Kennison wouldn’t have a career today.
He’d fit right in here though.
She was so fat, her high school picture was a satellite view. She went into KFC and when asked what bucket size, she said, The one on the roof.
I was so fat when I had my shoes shined I had to take the guys word for it
I tell ya, my high school was tough. We had the only school newspaper with an obituary column.
said to my kid “You know, one day you’ll have kids of your own”
He said, “So will you!”
“I had so much acne as a teenager I once fell asleep in the library and when I woke up a blind girl was reading my face “
Great flick. Easy Money, too.
But Kinison was amazing.
‘e stole that ‘at from me!
$#|+!!!! How did Y tell me to embed?
Maybe this way?
Did he by chance just get moved off a route in Everett? He may have been blogged about recently. If the Destinee that he was trying to chat up went to Framingham State she might have been blogged about too.
If the white community takes him off the board can the hoodrats match us with one of theirs?
1 by 1.
Laughed my ass off at that one. Many thumbs up
Scratching his not-an-athlete’s foot in the truck? Frozen Fungus Toes coming up!!
He was just whipping up a batch of soft serve!….
He is giving us ice cream truck drivers a bad name
He has the written word equivalent of Tourette syndrome.
He’s a (FUCK) victim.
People take steaming (SHIT) dumps on public streets these days. The van was his work place.
If he had the doors closed I (COCKSUCKER) wouldn’t consider that legally public.
It’s between him and the owner (D-BAG) of the trucks.
If I owned the trucks, I (WHORE) would have fired him, but depending on how he was found (CUNT) to be doing that, I may have not found him guilty.
He was a (BLOW ME) man ahead of his time, that’s all.
I’m sure Liawatha stands with me on this.
See, he’s not so bad after all, is he?
You people (MORONS) should all be (DICK WADS) ashamed of yourselves (LICK MY TAINT).
The scenes with the really tall date are hysterical too.
“FREAK!” “Behemoth!” “That’s a HUGE BITCH.”
Let’s not neglect the fact that he has 5-8 Facebook profiles. So clearly if you block one, he uses another
“I fucked your sister! In the shower!” (Please date me though)
This guy is almost worse than my very Russian boyfriend Boris who can’t stop driving trucks into people.
It’s not his fault though. It’s a disease. When he’s high on meth, he wants to kill innocent people. He didntdoonuffin. It’s a disease!!!!!! He needs help!!!! Throw him into a detox he can leave at will! This is the answer!
No more meth, guys.
PS. I still really love you, Dick Scratcher
Rum away with me, Natasha and we’ll raise a family of little Scratchers! 🙂
I don’t know, Natasha. Boris is certainly a POS. But this sorry excuse of a man holds an incredibly inflated view of himself.
That American Idol clip – OMG. His singing was cringeworthy, but his words before beginning the song were of someone totally unaware of himself, and living with delusions of grandeur.
He hasn’t killed people, that we know of. So that makes Boris mush worse of a person.
But this guy is totally unhinged.
Dude seems pretty chill to me