Sports

Thanks To Steelers Being The Steelers The Patriots Are Finally Going To Be Challenged In The AFC Championship, Can’t Wait

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The Patriots annual two game season begins Sunday at 3:05 in the AFC Championship game. Again. It’s not even worth talking about what we did to the Titans. Just a complete emasculation of an unworthy team who had no business being on the same field as the greatest franchise in sports history.

One thing I took from that game is this – the Patriots are so much more fun to watch than everyone else. Lots of teams win Super Bowls, but not all champions are fun to watch. The Seahawks, Ravens, and Broncos all won Super Bowls recently. None of these teams cool. The Pats are cool. The play calling, the insane lob passes that Brady was throwing in that game, the fact that every time I see Brady release the ball I know it’s going to someone who is open and I anxiously anticipate waiting to see if I have that person in Fanduel. Not only do we win, we win in fun ways. Because God loves us more.

The only thing I’m upset about is some of the questionable calls going our way. In games like that I want all the calls going against us. Just egregious, terrible calls. That way when we still win by 20 there’s literally nothing anyone can say. Instead we get this:

Blah, blah, blah. The Eric Decker OPI call was a bullshit call we benefitted from. But guess what? Shit happens. Two years ago we were 10-0 when we went to Denver and lost because of some of the worst calls I’ve ever seen in a NFL game.

Both teams ended up 12-4 and we lost the tiebreaker so Denver got homefield and beat us on a missed extra point to go to the Super Bowl. Officiating in that game cost us a ring. Big deal. Come back and win the Super Bowl next year. That’s the Patriot way.

Anyway, sometimes our season doesn’t start until the Super Bowl, but this year the real season starts Sunday. Because make no doubt about it – the Jaguars are legit. We called them beating the Steelers a week ago. It was never in doubt. They were the superior team. They have superior coaching and a vastly superior defense. This isn’t the Colts from 2014 or the Steelers from last year. There was a 0.0% chance the Pats would lose either of those games.

But the Jaguars can play with us. This is exactly the kind of team that beats us – a team with a pass rush and good cornerbacks. We lost to Peyton Manning’s corpse two years ago because they had a pass rush and good corners. Blake Bortles right now is better than Manning was two years ago. If the Steelers had won we’d have a 100% chance of making the Super Bowl. Now it’s like, 92%. Either way, I’m happy to at least have a formidable challenge in the AFC Championship for once.

Oh, and this is all still up:

Considering Le’Veon Bell sat on his ass and didn’t play in the AFC Championship last year, I guess it is a round 2 for him. How do Steelers fans deal with this? This would drive me nuts, and we’d drive someone like this out of town. I don’t care how talented he is. Someone like this will ALWAYS be a loser. You cannot win with them. Shut the fuck up and win the game. Then talk shit at the parade. That’s the Patriots way.

You’d think he would run and hide, but instead we got this:

Thank you God for loving us so much more than everyone else. Thank you for making sure that our magnificent coach would never, ever let someone like this don the uniform of champions.

Anyone, I’m pumped for Sunday in ways that I wasn’t last year. I’m actually nervous, and I love it. I refuse to openly say we’re going to win because that’s not the Patriot way. It’s my job to come prepared as a fan, respect our opponent, and don’t think ahead to the Super Bowl. Because we all know the Vikings are gonna win anyway. We have to earn it. Do your job on Sunday. We can do this together.

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