WTF

The 2 Algonquin Streakers Stood Trial In Front Of Their Peers For Showing Dong And Putting It On Twitter

 

We had a good chuckle at this one:

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A couple weeks back we wrote a blog about the two Algonquin Regional High School students who streaked in Obama masks at a Gonk-Hudson football game. Our take on it was simple – streaking is a time honored American tradition, but there is streaking etiquette. And you don’t show dong when little kids are around. Thus these two students clearly violated that code.

Anyway, Algonquin is like another world to Turtleboy. It draws students from Northboro and Southboro – two places where the Turtleboy family will likely never be welcome to live in. Southboro is the richest town in Central Mass per capita, and as a result there are a lot of really smart kids in that school. Turtleboy Jr. would have culture shock if he went to the Gonk.

But apparently the Algonquin student newspaper just airs their dirty laundry on the Internet, because we found out everything that happened in the aftermath of StreakGate. Two seniors were put on trial in front of their peers to have their fate decided. Ya got that? A bunch of high school kids determined what the punishment would be for this crime against humanity. If they tried doing something like this at South or Doherty it would be a huge shitshow. Let’s look at what happened….

The two kids who got in trouble for this are named Jake Gore and Brendan Clark.

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Gore was evidently the captain of the soccer team and one of the streakers, and Clark was on trial for putting the video on Twitter. Both are class officers, Gore being the class President. At least he was:

At the hearings the petitioners, senior class advisers Melissa Arvanigian and Danielle DeCiero, discussed how Gore and Clark’s actions each were “unbefitting of a class officer,” according to their statements referencing the Student Council Constitution at both hearings, which took place consecutively on October 21. 

OK, how can any school let kids do this to other kids? I’ll tell you why this wouldn’t have worked in a Worcester Public School – because there would’ve been a fight later on. How are you gonna let one kid tell another kid what is “unbefitting of a class officer?” Like he’s the Pope or something.

And what on earth is a student council constitution? That’s the most Algonquin thing I’ve ever heard. You know what the student constitution at North High is? No snitching. I just could never imagine being in high school and ever taking a “student council constitution” seriously.

Here was Gore’s defense at his student-led trial:

“I, along with a couple of my friends, decided to partake in what we thought would be only a funny and enjoyable prank, for most people. We foolishly did not recognize the large impact it would have on not only ourselves but our classmates, our school, and our community. Since then, we came forward and confessed to being the ones who did it. We have received ample punishment and are still working through community service to better ourselves in the eyes of our community, in light of what happened.” 

It’s like a bizarro world. This is a high school?? If I was this kid and I fucked up like this, and I was forced to sit in front of a group of students and explain my actions, I would’ve found so much dirt on all of them going into it. “Hey Susie, remember that time you called Mrs. Abasciano fat and said she’s the worst math teacher ever? Remember that time we were at a keg party and you were so wasted that you made out with your Stacy?” I mean, it’s just such a joke that high school kids should have to explain themselves to their peers.

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Petitioners Arvanigian and DeCiero argued against Gore at the hearing, asserting that after graduation, Gore may not be trustworthy enough to hold the class funds for future reunions. “As a leader, you should be somebody that your community trusts to make wise decisions and thinks through their decisions beforehand, and also the repercussions of those decisions,” DeCiero said. “Streaking speaks to the fact that that was not thought of ahead of time, the repercussions in the extent to which weren’t thought of ahead of time.” 

What the hell planet am I on right now? How can this Gore kid resist the urge not to jump over that table and give the other kid a wedgie? Let me give you kids a quick glimpse of reality. At your high school reunion, 10% of your class is gonna show up. Any money that you saved for it, no matter who the treasurer is, is gonna be long gone. So everyone’s gonna have to chip in some cash to rent the VFW hall and pay their inflated drink prices anyway.

But this is Algonquin we’re talking about, and he handled it in the most Algonquin way possible:

“I did do something unbefitting of a class president; I agree with that,” Gore said. “But I don’t think it was quite awful and against the class enough to warrant an impeachment, per se.”

Per se? I’m just so blown away by the contrast between these kids and kids I went to school with. Almost every conversation at South High started with daps and “yo son.” This is what worries me about moving out of the Woo. I feel like going to school around rougher kids gives you a broader worldview. Granted you’ll probably get much better resources, support from the community, and the principals won’t get beat up by students. But I dunno if it’s worth it.

Anyway the committee found Gore guilty and the principal confirmed the punishment. The other kid was on trial for something completely different. All he did was post the video to Twitter. Sorry, that’s bullshit that he’s even having to answer for himself. He agreed and basically told them that when he got up there:

In his statement, Clark referenced the Student Council Constitution just as the petitioners did, but to reason that he should not be having a trial at all. Clark claimed that because he (unlike the class president) is not a member of the Student Council- just the Steering Committee- the codes from the Constitution did not apply to him. “Based on this Constitution here, I didn’t do anything wrong,” Clark said at the hearing. “I didn’t violate it at all.” 

Steering committee? This is a world the Turtleboy family will never understand. But good for him for standing up for himself instead of throwing himself at the mercy of the court.

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The advisers claimed that Clark, through posting the video on Twitter, was demonstrating “endorsement or promotion of an inappropriate action.”

No. He was endorsing free speech. Because in America you can put whatever you want on Twitter. You can lose your job for it, but this kid doesn’t have a job. He’s just a student exercising his first amendment rights.

They also argued that because that day was the first time the Student Council Constitution had been referenced to “impeach” an officer, assumptions from the text would have to be made. “The document was sort of meant to embody what it means to be a leader [in] student government,” DeCiero said. “It was meant to be loose. We’ve never been in this situation before because we’ve never had officers act in this manner before in any way, shape or form. We haven’t had to utilize this document before, so it’s not going to be perfect.” 

Loose interpretations? OK, we’ve officially gone off the deep end now. Why are these kids taking themselves so seriously? Don’t they realize that none of this actually matters? It’s high school. Nothing that is happening right now is real. Do these kids think they’re in Philadelphia 1787? I don’t understand how no one walked out of this with a wedgie.

“If I could go back in time, I would not have posted that video, knowing that this would all happen,” Clark said. “It was a mistake, and I do regret it.” 

Come on man, stick to your guns!!!

“I think Jake is a good kid,” Greene said. “I think Jake’s a funny kid. I consider him a friend, and an ally in Steering Committee and in Student Council. But I think that he made a bad decision. He shouldn’t have done what he did.” 

Wait…..what?? This is your friend? This is what friends do at Algonquin? They put them on trial for violating the Student Council Constitution? I’m gonna puke.

“In terms of the statement that the advisers made, I think that they had some pretty strong points about the way that Jake portrayed the Algonquin student body to the community at such a public event,” Sophomore President Laura Shi said. “I think he admitted to his wrongdoing, but it didn’t take away from the fact that he did something like that.” 

Now they’re being disciplined by sophomores in high school?? This can’t be real life.

Then the truth came out:

“I think there was a lot of prejudice against Jake and Brendan,” Greene said. “Jake admitted that what he had done was unbefitting, but I don’t really think that what Brendan did was unbefitting of an officer. I honestly think he [Brendan] was looped in because he was Jake’s good friend. It’s very well known that the two of them are good friends. They’ve run as pair candidates in the past, they were voted best friends by the Class of 2016… If any of the other class officers were at the game… and posted it on Twitter, there would be absolutely nothing that happened.”

AH-HAH!! We’ve found out the real motive for the witch hunt – jealousy over being elected besties in the school yearbook!!!

Turns out that the kid who said he was “friends” with these guys, might’ve been lying too:

“I asked the advisers a couple of questions about their history and their tension with Jake, and I was kind of surprised by their answers, because I didn’t find them to be truthful,” Greene said. “There is a tension between Jake, Brendan, and the advisers. There’s a long history of that tension.” 

Oh I see what happened here. Just like I thought, this is all about butthurt. Kids on the this committee got a little power and they let it get to their heads. That’s gonna happen in high school, but it should probably be incumbent on the administration not to let a shitshow like this go forward. You’ve got kids who don’t like other kids using their “authority” to get back at the other kids. I mean, what if one of them hooked up with someone else’s ex-girlfriend. Couldn’t you just use just your spot on the council to get your revenge on them?

There’s more to it that you can read about here. But here’s the thing – why does Turtleboy know all of this right now? Why is confidential school information widely available to anyone who wants to read it? How is this OK with parents? I mean, we could blog about this shit all day because it’s hilarious. But I don’t understand why we’re able to. Now whenever you Google these kid’s names you’re gonna find out about that time they showed the world dong.

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7 Comment(s)
  • Sweet Justice
    October 30, 2015 at 10:13 am

    It’s called CLASS, Turtleboy. These kids, their classmates, and senior advisers probably come from GOOD HOMES with FINE PARENTS whose parents don’t defend idiotic behavior and threaten to sue. They seem smart, educated, and well rounded. They screwed up, owned up to it, and accepted the consequences for being idiots. End of story. They didn’t call the PC police, lawyer up, or try to sue the school system. You don’t see that much anymore.

  • Anonymous
    October 29, 2015 at 4:21 pm

    Usually love your posts but I’m curious as to why you find it a problem for a kid to video record during class but not for this kid to put it on Twitter?

    • Wabbitt
      wabbitt
      October 29, 2015 at 6:58 pm

      Because a football game isn’t class time.

  • RSoxGuy
    October 29, 2015 at 3:18 pm

    Soccer players streaking together. Whats a surprise.

  • Skeptical
    October 29, 2015 at 2:26 pm

    Just a while ago you were saying it was wrong to show their dicks to kids. Which they did.

    If I take a piss outside and a kid sees me I become a sex offender, I don’t see how these kids are exempt from that. Now, if they streaked in a place where no young kids could see, then yes, it’d be hilarious and no one should care. But it was moronic to do it where they did.

    Just a few blogs ago you were saying how kids should behave themselves in respect to schools and public authorities, but now it’s a “birthright” to swing your naked dick around to people in public?

    If that isn’t hypocritical, I don’t know what is. There is nothing “disciplined” or “respectful” about streaking dude.

  • mack4966
    October 29, 2015 at 12:09 pm

    This could never happen in Worcester. First of all Worcester dongs are much too small to be seen, just like many IQs there.

  • Commode Comando
    October 29, 2015 at 12:05 pm

    Go commando or don’t go!

    #NOTALLWOMEN

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