Hoodrat Heroes

The Cash Me Outside Chick Starred In the Most Bootleg Rap Video Ever, How Long Until She Stars In Her First Porno?

 

In the least surprising turn of events ever the “Cash me ousside, how bow dah” chick has released a rap video:

What the hell did I just watch? How is that even a rap video if she didn’t rap? It’s just her sittong on car lip syncing a terrible Missy Elliot rip-off while she throws hundred dollar bills in the air and plays on her i-Phone.

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I guess that’s the kind of video production you get when you hire “White Trash Tyler” to direct your music video.

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The best part was at the end when they randomly show a poodle taking a shit in the bushes.

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Because…..why not?

I’m not even mad at this girl. I hope she’s capitalizing off her 15 minutes of fame and riding it as long as possible. Because ultimately if she wants to make money in the future she’s gonna have to know how to ride things for at least 15 minutes.

Two months ago Danielle Peskowivz was a 13 year old trashbag, failing her way through middle school, whose life goal was to make it onto 16 And Pregnant. Now she’s a 13 year old trashbag failing her way through middle school, but she’s selling t-shirts and making rap videos because she became famous for being an Internet meme.

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This is how capitalism works. It’s not fair sometimes, but capitalism isn’t about fairness. It’s about jumping on opportunities and being ingenuitive. We teach kids in schools that they need to work hard, get good grades, and get into a good college. Bullshit. You have to figure out what you’re best at and find a way to use that in order to build an audience, generate revenue, and pay your bills. And Danielle Peskowicz is really, really good at being ratchet in a country where you can make a lot of money by becoming ratchet famous. Just ask every single useless slugpump on the Jersey Shore, Honey Boo-Boo, Flava-flave’s ho competition, Dance Moms, or pretty much 99% of reality TV shows.

My only question is this – how old will she be when she finally decides to do porn? Because it’s not a matter of if, but when. So will she sign with Brazzers the moment she turns 18? Or will she keep pursuing the rap game for a little bit and hold off until she’s 21? That’s the only question that is unknown at this point.

Anyway, this girl is obviously a gutterslug, but I’m kind of tired of Mom getting a free ride. This girl is 13. She has no rights. She can’t do anything that Mom doesn’t let her. She is not emancipated. Mom has the power to say no rap videos, no t-shirts, no more Dr. Phil. But Mom is obviously using her for financial gain, and is pretty bad at parenting to begin with. The girl sleeps in her freaking bed, and they get into fight fights on the regular. In other words, it’s a Webster love story that’s turned out to be pretty profitable for both parties.

 

 

 

 

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27 Comment(s)
  • JTC
    February 11, 2017 at 11:09 pm

    Saw the Dr. Phil episode. She told him that she made him just like Oprah did. LOL Ridiculous. You are right…the mother is all caught up in this for financial gains. First thing’s first. NO CELL PHONE. NO WHORE NAILS. NO MORE CLOTHES. NO MORE HAIR COLORING. NO MORE TALKING ALL “GANSTA,” NO MORE ANYTHING until the little shit does the right thing. Goes to school, comes home, does chores, and behaves like a 13 year old. If she doesn’t like it…off she goes to a group home. End of story. Kid is a piece of shit. She might end up dead before she gets to do porn. See how tough she is then.

  • KEVIN LYNCH
    February 11, 2017 at 12:21 pm

    Why and who put a outline of a penis on the left side crouch area of this girl on the hood? On the right side is a cat facing right.

    People are just sick.

    • BobnMic
      February 11, 2017 at 12:28 pm

      Oh hai kevvy, you never did get back to me about going on Turtleboy Live with me, You know I’m super famous here and it might bode well for you to appear with me seeing as how the Fitchburg Mayor election is just right around the corner.

    • Tyrone Shoelaces
      February 11, 2017 at 3:09 pm

      Hey Kevin! Isn’t this your niece? You fuckin shitbag.

  • WTF
    February 10, 2017 at 8:11 pm

    By the time she is 18 she will have more black guys in her then the line at the welfare office.

    • Wabbitt
      wabbitt
      February 11, 2017 at 3:58 pm

      Call her pussy Amistad because it’s packed full of black guys.

  • Cris Gagne
    Wtf
    February 10, 2017 at 7:08 pm

    Back on dr Phil today and he has already spent a shit ton of money on her at a therapy ranch and the mom is clearly all about the money. That child is 13 i would slap the shit out of her, how bow dah? A perfect example of why spanking should be acceptable.
    Wtf

    • Lola Bunny
      February 10, 2017 at 10:45 pm

      Spanking? It says the mom and daughter get into fistfights! Before your kid even gets close to being the disrespectful heathen this brat is, you just take their favorite stuff away. Vary the time on “how bad was their crime.” Shows them who the real boss is. I am a single mom, I have to grown boys and they are great men. It works.

  • Edward Lyle
    Mr. Peabody
    February 10, 2017 at 6:41 pm

    God I hate everybody that wears those pathetic fake nails. On a lighter note, pretty big sweater meats for a 13 year old. 😀

    • Wabbitt
      wabbitt
      February 11, 2017 at 3:57 pm

      And by the time she’s 25 they’ll be down around her waist.

  • TiredOfThisCrap
    February 10, 2017 at 6:22 pm

    You said tossing hundreds TB, all I saw was a singles and couple twenties wrapped with a bill… pffff. Losers. I spend more than that on groceries.

  • BobnMic
    February 10, 2017 at 5:19 pm

    I need to see if she will be a CI for me. For those of you who aren’t police savvy like me with all my years on the force, that’s Confidential Informant. I have located the suspected lair of that drug lord TurdvBurglestein and need to send her in there to make a buy for me. Or at least get me a sample of product with that long ass fingernail she has. I bet she could scoop an entire 8 ball up with that thing.

    And then I will have all the evidence I need to get the go ahead from my boss to obtain a search warrant and take down this clown.

    BobnMic
    DEA Agent

    • BobnMic
      February 10, 2017 at 8:47 pm

      ^^^^ A clown you are that is for sure.

      • BobnMic
        February 10, 2017 at 9:04 pm

        ^^^The guy above me is a fake. So is the guy after me.

        • BobnMic
          February 11, 2017 at 12:24 pm

          The guy above me above me is a fake and so am I.

  • ninja turtleboy
    February 10, 2017 at 5:08 pm

    i love kodak black, wtf is this shit tho???

  • ZephyrCat
    February 10, 2017 at 5:06 pm

    Little did I know when I woke up today that I would have to gouge my eyes out AND pour battery acid into my ears. Yeah, muhfucka, habada.

    • ZephyrCat
      February 10, 2017 at 5:10 pm

      Goddamnit, I watched the 2nd video before I gouged my eyes & burned my ears. Now I have to stick a screwdriver into my temple too.

  • Dick Dover
    February 10, 2017 at 4:44 pm

    13 and already has a pothole for a pussy.
    How bow dah?

  • Mitch Hedberg
    February 10, 2017 at 4:42 pm

    On a traffic light green means go and yellow means yield, but on a banana it’s just the opposite. Green means hold on, yellow means go ahead, and red means where the hell did you get that banana at…

  • Wtf
    February 10, 2017 at 4:38 pm

    Something tells me that’s not the first time she’s had her legs spread on the hood of a wangsters car.

  • Mr Butthurt
    February 10, 2017 at 4:29 pm

    12 pack and maybe wood

    • Skinner Steve
      February 10, 2017 at 4:49 pm

      Nice

    • PJ
      February 10, 2017 at 5:18 pm

      She’d make you buy her more than a twelve pack to put some man chowder on those sweater puppies

  • Paul Larson
    February 10, 2017 at 4:27 pm

    I have no idea what cash me ousside is… Was it ever in the Telegram & Gazette? That’s where I get most of my news. Everybody knows Paul “The Great” Larson there… Here is a letter and a rosewood engraved pen I found:

    Worcester Telegram & Gazette

    Dear Mr. Larson,

    July 2, 2012

    Congratulations.

    Your letter to The People’s Forum has been selected as the Letter of the Week.
    Your engraved rosewood Telegram & Gazette Letter of the Week pen is enclosed. We hope you enjoy it.

    Regards,
    Chris Sinacola
    Editor of the Editorial Pages

    Of course now the T&G is just an apologist for the undemocratic Democratic Party!

    Paul Larson

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