Looks like the Patriots season climaxed with a happy ending in more ways than one…..
Jupiter, FL police chief confirms NE Patriots owner Robert Kraft charged in prostitution ring bust
— Jesse Rodriguez (@JesseRodriguez) February 22, 2019
New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft, one of the most powerful men in American football, was charged today on two counts of soliciting prostitution in connection to a recent law enforcement bust on massage parlors in Florida that, according to law enforcement, were used for prostitution and human trafficking. The news comes a few weeks after the Patriots won their sixth Super Bowl and days after Kraft appeared at the NBA All-Star game.
In a press conference Friday morning, Jupiter Police chief Daniel Kerr said Kraft was charged with two counts of soliciting prostitution, and that a warrant for his arrest is with the state’s attorney’s office and will be sent to Kraft’s home in Massachusetts. Kerr said there is video evidence of Kraft involved in sex acts in a massage parlor on two occasions. Twenty-five people total were charged with soliciting prostitution at the Orchids of Asia spa in Jupiter.
An Asian Spa?? That counts as a prostitution sting?? Half the population of Rhode Island is shitting their pants right now. The guy’s wife is dead and he’s got millions of dollars to blow, and we’re destroying his reputation because womb broom got rubbed? At least Tom Brady knows he’s not the only one in the organization accused of getting his balls deflated.
Oh, and this place keeps lists too….
Here is a list of all the men being charged: pic.twitter.com/mF09srw4PU
— Ali Schmitz (@SchmitzMedia) February 22, 2019
He’s not even the oldest guy on this list. Frank Velie is 79 and still getting his mutton dagger massaged. And good ol’ Danny Young is about to turn 85 years young and still pays chicks who can’t speak English to play his viagra violin! Just about everyone on that list is eligible to collect social security. That’s how you know this was a Florida rub n tug.
And can we talk about how there was a guy busted in this sting named Dick Palmer. Arrested with dick still in palm. Can’t make this stuff up.
Guess how much it cost?
Answering a questions about the fees at Orchids of Asia, Jupiter Police Detective Andrew Sharp, the lead detective on the case, said the fee for 30 minutes was $59 dollars, or $79 for an hour. He did not specify what Kraft paid. He said Kraft was driven to the parlor.
That’s the real crime here. A billionaire was paying $79.99 for a welfare North Korean beef strokemeoff. I’m honestly disappointed. For Christ sake, it’s right next to a Goddamn Super Cuts.
Bob Kraft DEFINITELY got a 2 for 1 "massage" and haircut at the super cuts next door. pic.twitter.com/caQ5mvwrJG
— Steve (@LandOfSteve) February 22, 2019
Did he get Panera Bread after he was done? Talk about man of the people.
Here’s the thing though – pretty much any woman under the age of 50 who would willingly sleep with Bob Kraft (and there are plenty) is no better than the chicks at the rub n tug. They’re just a more sophisticated prostitute. The fact of the matter is that if you’re a dude with money, young hot women are gonna bang you because of it. He just went with the more direct route.
In all honesty, it is pretty fucked up that these women come here in cages and the only America they know is the inside of a strip mall where they give the Greatest Generation rubdowns that bring them back to Manilla Bay 1944. So I can see the moral issue here with this. But on the other hand (no pun intended) Bob Kraft isn’t the one trafficking them. He just showed up to get a welfare massage and the next thing you know this Roger Goodell plant starts doing the mushroom tip macarena. What’s he supposed to do?
Here’s my question – how can they prove he willingly paid for a handy? Don’t get me wrong, we all know what Bob Kraft was doing at a shady strip mall in Jupiter, FL. But how does the DA prove he wasn’t just going there to work out a kink in his shoulder? Looks like his lawyers are saying the same thing.
Statement from a spokesperson for Robert Kraft:
“We categorically deny that Mr. Kraft engaged in any illegal activity. Because it is a judicial matter, we will not be commenting further.”
— Mike Reiss (@MikeReiss) February 22, 2019
All I know is Bob Kraft buying the Patriots has brought me more joy than an army of North Korean rub n tugs ever could. And until I see actual evidence in the form of a sex tape, I gotta go free muh boi on this one.
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