The Fact That Bob Kraft Got A Discount Welfare Handy For $79 Proves That He’s Just Like Regular People


Looks like the Patriots season climaxed with a happy ending in more ways than one…..

New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft, one of the most powerful men in American football, was charged today on two counts of soliciting prostitution in connection to a recent law enforcement bust on massage parlors in Florida that, according to law enforcement, were used for prostitution and human trafficking. The news comes a few weeks after the Patriots won their sixth Super Bowl and days after Kraft appeared at the NBA All-Star game.

In a press conference Friday morning, Jupiter Police chief Daniel Kerr said Kraft was charged with two counts of soliciting prostitution, and that a warrant for his arrest is with the state’s attorney’s office and will be sent to Kraft’s home in Massachusetts. Kerr said there is video evidence of Kraft involved in sex acts in a massage parlor on two occasions. Twenty-five people total were charged with soliciting prostitution at the Orchids of Asia spa in Jupiter.

An Asian Spa?? That counts as a prostitution sting?? Half the population of Rhode Island is shitting their pants right now. The guy’s wife is dead and he’s got millions of dollars to blow, and we’re destroying his reputation because womb broom got rubbed? At least Tom Brady knows he’s not the only one in the organization accused of getting his balls deflated.

Oh, and this place keeps lists too….

He’s not even the oldest guy on this list. Frank Velie is 79 and still getting his mutton dagger massaged. And good ol’ Danny Young is about to turn 85 years young and still pays chicks who can’t speak English to play his viagra violin! Just about everyone on that list is eligible to collect social security. That’s how you know this was a Florida rub n tug.

And can we talk about how there was a guy busted in this sting named Dick Palmer. Arrested with dick still in palm. Can’t make this stuff up.

Guess how much it cost?

Answering a questions about the fees at Orchids of Asia, Jupiter Police Detective Andrew Sharp, the lead detective on the case, said the fee for 30 minutes was $59 dollars, or $79 for an hour. He did not specify what Kraft paid. He said Kraft was driven to the parlor.

That’s the real crime here. A billionaire was paying $79.99 for a welfare North Korean beef strokemeoff. I’m honestly disappointed. For Christ sake, it’s right next to a Goddamn Super Cuts.

Did he get Panera Bread after he was done? Talk about man of the people.

Here’s the thing though – pretty much any woman under the age of 50 who would willingly sleep with Bob Kraft (and there are plenty) is no better than the chicks at the rub n tug. They’re just a more sophisticated prostitute. The fact of the matter is that if you’re a dude with money, young hot women are gonna bang you because of it. He just went with the more direct route.

In all honesty, it is pretty fucked up that these women come here in cages and the only America they know is the inside of a strip mall where they give the Greatest Generation rubdowns that bring them back to Manilla Bay 1944. So I can see the moral issue here with this. But on the other hand (no pun intended) Bob Kraft isn’t the one trafficking them. He just showed up to get a welfare massage and the next thing you know this Roger Goodell plant starts doing the mushroom tip macarena. What’s he supposed to do?

Here’s my question – how can they prove he willingly paid for a handy? Don’t get me wrong, we all know what Bob Kraft was doing at a shady strip mall in Jupiter, FL. But how does the DA prove he wasn’t just going there to work out a kink in his shoulder? Looks like his lawyers are saying the same thing.

All I know is Bob Kraft buying the Patriots has brought me more joy than an army of North Korean rub n tugs ever could. And until I see actual evidence in the form of a sex tape, I gotta go free muh boi on this one.


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75 Comment(s)
  • Spanky Monkyshines
    February 25, 2019 at 2:38 pm

    Kraft is a disgrace.

    February 24, 2019 at 7:15 pm

    Shell Shocker is totally screwed on this headline. Kraft is not like regular people. Regular people do not go to a Chicom honey trap. Obviously this is a front for the People’s Liberation Army, and they have all men on video going to these places. If the man is in the government, law enforcement, or military, he’s going to find himself subject to blackmail. Every man should realize this. The commies are not our friends, even if the promise to “love you long time” is made.


    There are so many alternatives. The back room at the Cadillac Lounge is reputable as compared to this.

  • Old Hairy Balls
    February 24, 2019 at 9:41 am

    In Bangkok, where I am right now, the full service action starts about $60 NONE of these women in the legal establishments are forced to be there, they choose to and are free to cum and go as they please. So they are happy and enjoy their work, making a good income. Many are college girls. I drop in while here on business on occasion and its good clean fun, playful and cheerful. No tipping required or ever asked for but if they smile and are sweet, they get one anyway. Most get a tip.
    My point is that old men with saggy balls have the time and money and the occasional need. Its business, its gone on forever, and as long as nobody is underage or there against their will, really, why the fuck not? I’m no football fan but as one old bastard to another I wish Mr Kraft smooth sailing. He was good to his wife and kids and anyone who thinks this is morally wrong can settle for my old dick instead of some lovely charming ladies.

  • Malcolm butler
    February 24, 2019 at 7:54 am

    Wonder who made the anonymous tip ‍♂️

  • vic1
    February 24, 2019 at 7:26 am

    Even though every one is saying “SUMting Wong”, I say nothing wrong… We have all been there. Even though you may have a standing reservation at the best Michelin-starred steak and lobster restaurant waiting for you in every city, sometimes you just want a quick, greasy, hole in the wall Chinese takeout to hit the spot.

    Don’t forget you will feel satisfied after a quickie but you will be hungry again in no time and want to go for more…. Those crazy asians make it “so spicy you love it long time” or “love it rong time”

    This play call by Kraft was as stupid as the play call asking Brady to run and catch in previous SB….
    he should immediately have offered the arresting officers lifetime season tickets … But then again maybe those guys are Dolphin fans …..phark

  • T. Brady
    February 23, 2019 at 11:26 pm

    Kraft is a sick self destructive f%ck.

  • Alex reimer the dainty creamer and filthy screamer and dainty little dreamer.
    February 23, 2019 at 11:24 pm

    Ohhhhh I’m such a dusty little dainty little queef. I’m a regular pillow biting necrophiliac with a streak of fecalphilia. Ya pissants. Check me out on weei. A lot of people are saying “w-e-e whooooo”. Exactly. Punch me where I pee. Please.

  • Whateva
    February 23, 2019 at 10:04 pm

    Boom! Best take I’ve read so far on this story

  • The Tuggernaut
    February 23, 2019 at 6:35 pm

    Very pro Law Enforcement but, The Jupiter PD is a joke.
    This was an 8 month long investigation, to the lengths that they obtained a warrant to place surveillance cameras to catch men in the “act”. What did they get ? 24 sets of wrinkly old balls getting their puds pulled. Wow great police work boys !
    End results is a bunch of misdemeanor offenses, with some fines and community service.
    Let us not forget these poor girls who were being trafficked and forced to live in deplorable conditions. The Jupiter PD was so concerned about them that they just sat back and literally watched them yank cranks for 8 months while they probably were making good overtime.
    This whole case smells of ulterior political motivations.

  • The Candy Man's gone bitches!
    February 23, 2019 at 3:54 pm

    At least he didn’t take a knee. No, he paid for a malnourished Asian chick to do it for him. This may seem unpopular sentiment, but can we talk about a real sport, like Roller Derby? Sorry jock sniffers – you indoor comfy chair closet fags – Captain Bob is no longer the Captain of your hearts… boohoooo … time for a huddle in spandex, grown men feelin’ each other up ‘n shit. Watching disillusioned football fans in denial is some of the saddest shit I’ve ever seen. SMH. Fkn pussies

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    Jack MeHoff
    February 23, 2019 at 3:32 pm

    Where is this place?

  • Rockets Redglare
    February 23, 2019 at 2:47 pm

    And why the fuck would he use his real name to sign in? Joe Smith, Dick GoZinya perhaps. Trace-ability costs all men…

    • Jussie Smell It
      February 23, 2019 at 7:01 pm

      He signed in as Jew Boy thinking that would provide cover for him in Florida .

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    Pat McGroin
    February 23, 2019 at 2:28 pm

    I think I’d opt for the army of NK rub and tugs.

  • don
    February 23, 2019 at 10:42 am

    6 superbowl rings and 1 prostitution ring.

  • Sal O’Mal
    February 23, 2019 at 9:32 am

    The media’s breathless coverage of this is HYSTERICAL. Banner on MassLive site. News trucks parked outside his house, interviewing neighbors. Journalism is dead.

  • Private Joker
    February 22, 2019 at 11:20 pm

    what do I get for $10

  • Tom Blackburn
    February 22, 2019 at 10:04 pm

    Kraft is super jacked that the wall’s not built yet. Dude’s no Trump supporter when all he wants to do is cum all over every wetback slut bitch in the caravan.

  • MAGA
    February 22, 2019 at 9:16 pm

    Seems like a waste of money. If the cops were worried about girls who were being trafficked, why would you set up a sting operation over several days to arrest johns? I suspect it’s either political or about revenue.

    • Jim
      February 23, 2019 at 1:42 am

      “According to Norma Jean Almodovar, a former LAPD officer and retired sex worker who founded the Los Angeles branch of the sex-worker rights organization COYOTE, even the arrest figures not may not accurately reflect reality—it is not uncommon for law enforcement to claim voluntary sex workers have been trafficked.“If the woman says they’re being trafficked, the likelihood of being charged with a crime is less and they can avoid being charging with prostitution,” Almodovar said.”

    • Kim Wescott
      February 23, 2019 at 2:11 pm

      Don’t know if it’s true or not, but I read that police have been watching this place since October, not just a few days! They let it go on and let girls continue to be trafficked?

      I am pro law enforcement 99.9% of the time. But if that is true, it’s an injustice.

  • $5 Foot Long Fucky Sucky
    February 22, 2019 at 8:23 pm

    In today’s sick society Kraft is a bad man because he got his dick sucked. He would be as hero if he sucked dick like Anderson Cooper or dressed up like a cheerleader snd said he was as s women. Heck liberals would even preferred bestiality instead of an evil straight white male.

  • Dopes
    February 22, 2019 at 8:23 pm

    Fucking idiots man. Robert Kraft has absolutely nothing to do with Kraft macaroni and cheese.
    What a bunch of morons on this site.

  • Turtz McGurtz
    February 22, 2019 at 8:15 pm

    I stand with Krafty. And i stand with Asian massage parlors.

  • Gillete Stadium
    February 22, 2019 at 7:29 pm

    You can park here for $50. You can eat at Davio’s, Bar Louis, or Tavolino’s for $160. Ticket to the game for $180. Beers for $12.
    Handjobs from a subservient Asian (unavailable)

    • Stubby Hubby
      February 23, 2019 at 9:16 am

      $180?! Yeah if you want to bring an oxygen mask. More like $650.

  • WeRFuked
    February 22, 2019 at 6:03 pm

    WTF is wrong with our team? Can’t we go a few seasons without someone getting caught doing something stupid?

    • z
      February 22, 2019 at 10:03 pm

      It isn’t our team. It is a business worth billions. At most the NFL is a diversion for a boring Sunday afternoon IF the weather is bad.

      We own nothing. We get to watch, or not. We have no say so.

      Back when there was the big controversy of building the stadium, Kraft threatened to move to Hartford. He didn’t give a fuck about the people who “owned” “our” team. When Connecticut put on a full court press to land them, the Pats proposed practice facility about 10 miles from Hartford. I work with a guy who was on the towns conservation commission. He voted no to that because of wet lands. Funny though, 15 years later a shopping mall was put up. People jokingly blamed him for years as one of the reasons that the Pats didn’t move. Kraft was trying to squeeze Massachusetts for everything he could. Ultimately he didn’t get much.

      Even teams with minority(not race but %) ownerships rarely have a say so. Wealthy people who pay to smell some jocks ball sack. The fan has no say so, no input.

      I don’t like the guy. Haven’t for years. I relish in his squirming.

      Scary thing is, one of my other posts here, is I think he should be charged for a hate crime. Jemele Hill agrees. That’s scary. But a stopped clock is right twice a day.

  • Business?
    February 22, 2019 at 5:28 pm

    At least he pays them. Trump doesn’t even ask first.

    • Kim Wescott
      February 23, 2019 at 2:16 pm

      What kind of a twisted mind must you have to bring 45 into this?

      Politics, and YOUR president, have nothing to do with this.

      SMH. Troll.

  • Mickey M
    February 22, 2019 at 5:10 pm

    only Big news because of the Trump connection. Good for him and good for Trump for being Trump
    MAGA. Even Florida

  • Mr.? Gabe Murchison
    February 22, 2019 at 4:46 pm

    Of course he gets a discount, he’s on of God’s chosen people and doesn’t celebrate Christmas

  • MissK
    February 22, 2019 at 4:40 pm

    Don’t act like your not guilty of the same shit. Betty’s Miss Kitty totally ratted.

  • my hero
    February 22, 2019 at 4:32 pm

    spagate 2019, suspend craft for 6 games for deflating his balls.
    77 yr old, getting a rub and tug after 40 yrs of being married to the same woman, worth 4 billion dollars, go have some fun, get your rocks of, alot. spread the DNA everywhere. have the time of your life you deserve it. your mac and cheese sauce is awesome. Mike Irvin, after the superbowl win 2 hookers and crack, what happened to him? enjoy life just do it

  • Chris Seith
    Tiger Woods
    February 22, 2019 at 4:22 pm

    The cops in Jupiter FL sure don’t like rich people. Oh well

  • Wwwy and the nasty ,racist crew of haters.
    February 22, 2019 at 3:49 pm

    The racist, idiot trolls are out again. If you really be Lieberman your anti Semitic bullshit. Put your real name down and let the world know what kind of despicable human being you are.

    • Y
      February 22, 2019 at 3:54 pm

      They’re Elizabeth Warren voters…they’re all fake as fu@k.

  • Y
    February 22, 2019 at 3:45 pm

  • warpedhead
    February 22, 2019 at 3:17 pm

    Kraft is Bigger news then R.Kelly being charged with multiple counts of aggravated criminal sexual abuse. Anyone wanna guess why??

    • Y
      February 22, 2019 at 3:21 pm

      Because he’s friends w/Trump.

  • z
    February 22, 2019 at 3:08 pm

    Stupid fuck could have used an outcall service.
    Send a driver and pick the up the young man (oops woman – right?) up. Your driver is someone you trust, no Uber.
    Stupid should never be rewarded with a slap on the wrist. Make an example out of the rich and famous.

    I half hope the girls are 14 and he has to register for the rest of his life, after he does 5 years.
    May make those away games a bit tougher to attend.

    Pull his passport. Makes you wonder what they really do when they go to Israel every year.
    Gronk will probably retire now. This is too stupid even for him.

  • Tubby Hubby
    February 22, 2019 at 3:00 pm

    So you’ve never been married?

  • juror seven esq.
    February 22, 2019 at 2:58 pm

    Make it a legal business and tax it at 30%. What’s the problem?

    • z
      February 22, 2019 at 3:30 pm

      Except from keeping people in cages and forced to do this absolutely nothing wrong with this. Little things like that.

      As the people involved are Asians and foreigners and illegals, I’d charge this clown with a hate crime.
      No irony or sarcasm, I’d charge him with it. Probably made his johnson (not Chad) harder knowing they were forced to do it.

      “Yeah bitch, harder, HARDER!!!! If you don’t, you know what your masters are going to do to your family back in the old country!!!! Much better.”

      This is the real deal, not some guy with a tale about bleach, red hats and rope who lied.

      • Jim
        February 22, 2019 at 8:21 pm

        Nice pipe dream there. They probably went to some group and willingly agreed to it to get here and get set up, then split the profits to pay them back. That’s the usual MO in east Asia.

  • Richyrich
    February 22, 2019 at 2:54 pm

    Times have changed. I used to pay $10 extra for an “extwa speshoo massage-jee” at the Camp Casey Steam & Cream In 1980. I wonder where Miss Lee is now…

    • Captain Trips
      Nancy and Sluggo
      February 22, 2019 at 3:53 pm

      ‘the Camp Casey Steam & Cream’ LOL


  • Milf Assessor
    February 22, 2019 at 2:48 pm

    Look into who the ‘John ‘ was who was being shaken down about 10 years ago in the case of the black prostitute Blackmailing a prominent Boston resident

    After convicting her …In an unheard of situation the Johns name was sealed by the Fed judge

    Who has that kind of juice in this town to get that info sealed?



    • Aria pigfucker
      February 22, 2019 at 10:49 pm

      not Mahty Flynn. he’s a homo anyway
      MAGA bitches

  • Wwwy
    February 22, 2019 at 2:42 pm

    Why equate a Jewish diddler with normal people your a sick fuck TB,Kraft belongs in an oven. We get it he’s got a Jew face of course he has to pay. Thank God your not a teacher TB. Gives the kike a

  • randiguy2006
    Randall Guy
    February 22, 2019 at 2:31 pm

    Knowing Krafty he had a Groupon.

  • Good 4 Him
    February 22, 2019 at 2:21 pm

    77 and still getting some. That’s a mans man baby!!

  • Hilarious Nothing Burger
    February 22, 2019 at 2:17 pm

    The real MVP…Most Valuable Pervert. Gave her the grilled cheese treatment as she stated “He left me gooey and dripping with his cheese sauce.”

  • Hugh-Bo Mont
    February 22, 2019 at 2:10 pm

    Supposedly, there’s a bigger name than Kraft that was left off the list. If I was a billionaire, I’d go a little more high class. LOL

  • Toomey's Treet
    February 22, 2019 at 2:09 pm

    Apparently he told the massage therapist his name was Bob Shaft.

    • z
      February 22, 2019 at 4:01 pm

      Carlos Danger was taken.

      • A. Milano
        February 22, 2019 at 4:15 pm

        Robert “I feel a draft” Kraft

  • Really TBS you're defending him?
    February 22, 2019 at 1:45 pm

    If this was any other owner you’d have been blasting them just like any other Ratchet scum. It’s going to be sweet at the opener when they unfurl the 6 time SB champions banner and he can’t be there because of league sanctions and a suspension from all team activities. If they did it to pill popping Jim Irsey they’ll do it to Kraft.

    Best part is that’s about the only way you can actually hurt a billionaire.

    • Y
      February 22, 2019 at 1:49 pm

      You couldn’t get nailed in wood shop.
      The guy got a hang noogie; who cares

      • Y
        February 22, 2019 at 1:52 pm

        *hand noogie

  • GFY Tilton
    February 22, 2019 at 1:28 pm

    I wonder if he got busted in New England, what would have happened? Probably shuffled out the back door with no charges. And the arresting cops would be in his personal box on opening day.

  • Police say there was no hard evidence.
    February 22, 2019 at 1:27 pm

    Florida Police Chief I.C. Weiner said there was no hard evidence in this case. No seriously the guys 77.

  • z
    February 22, 2019 at 1:23 pm

    When his wife died he went full “woke”.

    He’s hired the fucking Rolling Stones for private events.


    Maybe he can get Meek Mill to say “Free my Boi!!!”

    • Wwwy
      February 22, 2019 at 2:51 pm

      Hey it’s lampshade here to defend kike diddlers,you people are sick. Ovens,gas chambers need to be on hand for the creepy kikes.

  • HairyClamChowda
    February 22, 2019 at 1:23 pm

    Damn, I hope they weren’t giving out prostate exams…

  • Jerry Jones
    February 22, 2019 at 1:22 pm

    C’mon Bob,
    You shoulda called me and I coulda hooked y’all up with some prime glory hole.

  • Y
    February 22, 2019 at 1:20 pm

    This is a set-up. Kraft is friends with Trump. Goodell hates Kraft/Trump. Goodell hates the Patriots. Everyone hates the Patriots. Everyone hates Trump. This is the real collusion!!!
    Say it ain’t so, RKK!!

    • Actual Texan & Cowboy Fan
      February 22, 2019 at 2:34 pm

      I’m LMAO!

      • Actual Texas & Cowboy Fan
        February 22, 2019 at 2:36 pm

        Reply meant for Jerry Jones’ comment above. Glory hole, baby!

  • vic
    February 22, 2019 at 1:16 pm

    I guess he could not find an Asian on the cheerleading team?

  • vic1
    February 22, 2019 at 1:15 pm

    What happened to his GF Ricki Lander? Or was this Chinese Takeout day since Ricki did not want to put the Kraft salami in her oven?

  • Patriots Suck
    February 22, 2019 at 1:13 pm

    And Korean Massage girls swallow

    • mike
      February 22, 2019 at 2:14 pm

      All girls swallow, retard.

      • Stroke Me Stroke Me
        February 22, 2019 at 5:59 pm

        Misdirection, hand is quicker than the eye.

      • Mike's Moms pudding pusher
        February 22, 2019 at 6:05 pm

        Shit I must be doing your mom wrong. How do you get her to swallow?

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