Meow. Meow. FAIL.
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Meow Meow fucking PURR, y’all!
Oh Diane! How much I have missed thee! I was ever-so lost when you deactivated your page. I had spent almost two weeks purring, I mean pouring, over the bonfire of your social media failings. The silence was a gaping hole in my life. As I sat prepping my children for Halloween, fastening costumes and hurling candy at trick or treaters, my messenger began to blow up. After weeks of nothing you decided to crawl out from your paper bag of crazy and it made my heart sing.
Just in case you’re wondering what the hell I’m talking about you’ve got a lot of catch up on. A crazy cat lady, during what seems like a drunken midlife crisis, leaves her lucrative job in the medical field and had the idea to open a cat cafe. It’s supposed to be a spot where you pay to hang out with foster cats and have a cup of coffee. The cats get exposure for new homes and the cafe makes money. Diane had no idea what she was doing, and through an avalanche of huge PR fails, caused the entire cat community, and any rescue who was willing to partner with her to stock up the cafe with cats to turn their backs on her.
Grab a beer and catch up:
Now that you know where we left off let’s see how much worse this has become.
It became apparent that Diane had hired some weird consultant to start trying, once again, to quell the concern of the people squatting on her Facebook page and barking at her mistakes in protest.
After the PR hire she quickly believed everything would be fine and went ahead to announce her cat-free opening.
Which was a bad idea according to consultant.
The consultant wanted to address the concerns with a Q and A as not to turn the opening in to the same spectacle as the open house I mentioned earlier.
It was just more of the same and the bloodhounds refused to relent. The poor consultant had to take Diane’s lies and make them palatable. It was almost painful. You’re welcome to read the disaster here. The agreement was Diane wouldn’t touch the social media page and Ed, the consultant would stay.
It didn’t turn out so well.
With Edward being the most recent emoloyee to throw his hands up and quit – Diane was now free to go back to her boxed-wine social media scuba sessions.
The thing here is once you go as far south as she had gone there is no turning back. The reputation is shattered and you might as well get your jingle ball and go home. Diane didn’t understand that.
She decided to open that week, against advice and sans cats, and it went over like a turd in the punchbowl.
Now this next part made me almost piss my pants. Fox 25, MONTHS LATE, finally decides to pick this story up and only after hundreds of people armed with screenshots complained to the City of Boston about how Diane was abusing and importing animals illegally to stock the cafe. You can watch the video HERE.
PURR wasn’t licensed and was denied being able to open. Diane had ignored Animal Control trying to come in an investigation abuse allegations several times and she had been red flagged.
…. Which meant that it was was Faux 25’s fault and Diane was going to sue them.
I wish we had a rolling bet on how this would end. Something tells me that she’s going to finally realize that she needs to cut her losses and sell the business. She’ll go live on Facebook with a bottle of tequila, a necklace made out of bones, and scream-cry at people for ruining her dreams without once thinking it was all her fault.
When that day comes I’m going to edit the video, make this the soundtrack, and toast to the eccentricity of the craziest cat lady we’ve ever seen.