Sports

The Patriots Purposely Lost To Miami Because It Guarantees We’re Going To The Super Bowl

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Everyone’s all hot and bothered because the Patriots lost again and finished up their last six games with a 2-4 record. Newsflash – that team on the field today wasn’t trying. They gave the ball to Steven Jackson a million times because they thought they could beat Miami with their eyes closed. Yes, the line blew, but we’ve seen the line suck before. The bottom line is the game didn’t matter because we still got a first round bye either way.

The goal in this game, just as it has been ever since Edelman went down and we all thought Gronk went down, was simple – don’t get injured. In two weeks we’ll have a healthy Edelman, a healthy Gronk, and a healthy Brady. The line can’t be any worse than it was today, and we will destroy everyone. I’m just trying to figure out who we want in the Super Bowl – Seattle, Arizona, or Carolina. I say gimme Cam Newton, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.

Oh yea, and Denver with home field advantage should scare nobody. We beat them fair and square without Edelman and Jamie Collins. Picture what Bill Belichick will do to a Gary Kubiak coached team the second time around with all his toys at his disposal. Bloodbath.

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The bottom line is that Belichick purposely didn’t try in this game because he realized that the two seed was actually better than the one seed. The Steelers got in, so they’ll obviously beat the Bengals next week, because losing in the playoffs is what Cinci does best. Then Pittsburgh will march into Denver and annihilate them again. Meanwhile the Patriots will get either the Andy Reid Chiefs or the Texans, both of which are gimmes. This sets up an AFC Championship in Foxboro against the Steelers, just as we planned it all along.

Even when we lose we still win. LOL at people who are down on this team. God loves us more. Turtleboy hasn’t forgotten that, and I feel bad for you if you have. Jump back on the winner wagon though, plenty of room!! Choo-Choo!!

 

 

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11 Comment(s)
  • Bob
    January 5, 2016 at 2:17 pm

    Turtleboysports, sounds about right for a kindergarten newsletter! If teams could predict what other game results would be in the future, they’re using “Grey’s Sports Almanac”, not this dumbass website!! LMAO

  • January 5, 2016 at 8:47 am

    Did you forget about what the gimme team chiefs did to the healthy patriots team they played last time? Good luck

  • Nn
    January 5, 2016 at 7:10 am

    U making alot of assumptions… which will end up making you look like a fool when they don’t make it to the superbowl. And if what your saying is the truth, how they rather have second seed to make sure they make it to the superbowl, that means they’re not confident enough to take one the first seeds team to beat them to make it to the superbowl, so they wanna be known as the team thay took the easy route to the superbowl, instead of Denver manning up to take on the harder teams.

  • Cody
    January 5, 2016 at 2:40 am

    Umm…Denver handed to deflatriots their first loss this season you crack head. Also, if your goal was to not get more injured players against Miami, you failed miserably lmao, Brady has an ankle sprain hahahahaha

  • T E
    January 4, 2016 at 9:30 pm

    i don’t remember seeing the Pats beat Denver “fair and square.” Check the tape before you publish nonsense

  • Bobbydig
    January 4, 2016 at 9:07 pm

    Tommy Boy and the bunch are done for the season.

  • Jar Jar Banks
    January 4, 2016 at 6:58 pm

    Except we had no clue that Pittsburgh was even in at the 6th seed until our game was over. Bill prevented injuries but didn’t just toss in a white flag from the first snap. Our defense can’t give up 20 (should’ve been 23) to a team like that and expect a superbowl again. Luckily we have two weeks and an evil genius of a coach.

  • Spankster
    January 4, 2016 at 3:36 pm

    All I remember is that last August all the New York and Miami papers were saying how much their teams had improved and that this was the year that the Patriots reign was over. That this was the year for them. WELL it’s January and guess who isn’t making tee times today

  • JT
    January 4, 2016 at 9:16 am

    Yeah they definitely phoned it in against Miami on Sunday. Agreed that the 2 seed is the better of the 2 options, and agreed we should have an easy road to SB50 if everyone is healthy, but you said we beat the Broncos fair and square, but we lost that game in OT.

  • bird
    January 4, 2016 at 6:07 am

    I admire your optimism and hope you are right, but they looked pretty sad. On the upside, Boone is gone!

  • BLADERUNNER
    January 4, 2016 at 5:54 am

    T.B. ANOTHER EXCUSE. THEY SUCKED TODAY . YOU SAY TOM TERRIFIC THREW THE GAME?I DONT THINK SO. THE FISH ATE YOU TODAY

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