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So the Ryan Lochte story has gotten pretty insane. Brazilian authorities are saying that he made the whole thing up. Footage was just released of him and the three other swimmers at a gas station. They emerge from a bathroom where they just pissed on a locked door and go into their cab. Before leaving some guys in red jackets and a man in black come over and force them out their car. Brazilian authorities are claiming that the men pissed on the door because they wouldn’t let them use the bathroom (they were wasted), had guns pulled on them by security, and ended up paying for the “damages” once the owner showed up. You be the judge:

Is that a robbery? Kind of. Although it was really more of a shakedown. First of all, we didn’t see them breaking down or pissing on any door. Not saying it didn’t happen, but we just saw people in uniform (not cops) forcing them out of the car. One of the swimmers comes out with his hands up:

Ya know, like he’s being robbed. But clearly a man dressed as a cop did not put a gun to his head. That’s just Ryan Lochte being Ryan Lochte. He’s the dumbest mother fucker on the planet:

He’s also in a world of his own, and in his own delusional mind he might’ve actually said, “whatever” while he was being forced to empty his wallet.

Check out the video in this Deadspin article too. It clearly shows these guys being lined up with their hands up and forced to sit down while they empty their pockets. In America, this is known as a robbery. And Ryan Lochte just might be dumb enough to believe that those were Brazilian cops.

Make no doubt about it though – this was a shakedown of drunk Americans at the least. A pissed on door doesn’t cost money, and you don’t collect it on the spot at gun point. They saw a bunch of drunk Americans and took advantage of them. The other three probably wanted the problem to just go away but then Lochte did Lochte things and told his wild tale to the media. And in classic Lochte fashion he then fled the country ahead of his friends and had them face the music for him.

Anyway, none of this changes the fact that Rio was a politically correct choice for the Olympics because it made the IOC feel like they were checking off a few diversity boxes. I don’t trust a single word from any Brazilian authorities because they have pressure on them to present an image that Rio is not a lawless place of poverty. It was in their best interest to say that Lochte made the whole thing up.

P.S. At least we know why that pool turned green. Fucking Lochte.

Double P.S. Only a matter of time until some moron turned this into a race thing:

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