Hoodrat Heroes

The Sickle Cellulite Was Flowing At The Chicopee Walmart Fupa Bowl This Weekend


The Walmart that has made the most appearances on Turtleboy has to be Chicopee Walmart. We’ve written about it a bunch of times. Ya never know how it will end, but one thing you are guaranteed is seeing copious amounts of fupa.

In today’s episode of BBC’s Chicopee Walmart Wild Earth we bring you Fupa Bowl 38.

Of course they were all in the baby section too. Competing for welfare teen mom guttermuppet of the year award. It’s so ironic because in an ideal world none of them would be able to reproduce. But this is a Chicopee Walmart world, so odds are there are at least a dozen combined crotch fruits for all participants in whatever that was supposed to be. Pretty sure the only one who actually got any punches in was the one guy in the Champion gear low key punching the other guy in the Champion gear who was lying on the ground and then eventually scurried out of there after taking his beating.

All I saw was some hair pulling, ho-screaming, and a little game of Tug-of-Boriqua.

That hair pull right there is what they call the Holyoke Helicopter. That poor bear lying on top of a rack like it’s giving up completely on laugh is a metaphor for the Chicopee Walmart.

The woman who worked there had right the right idea by radioing it in and not jumping in the middle of that.

No need to get your hand stuck a honch full of sickle cellulite

And it wouldn’t be a Chicopee Walmart fight if someone didn’t show up in their pajamas.

I’m sure this was all over something really important. My question is, who stole whose food stamps? And can I get them half price? Asking for a friend.


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49 Comment(s)
  • Jumpin' Joe Stalin
    February 12, 2020 at 11:35 am

    This is prime example of why capitalism bad. Must engineer famine in Chicopee to eliminate excess consumers.

  • Judge dread
    February 11, 2020 at 5:39 pm

    All of this dogshit can be easily handled by Indemnity granted to security guards; equip them with PR-24’s (Rodney king beaters, hey he was a PCP head and when he died he had, PCP in his system), extendable batons, saps, or just straight up sawed off pool cues.

    You beat these people they won’t do that shit again In your store.

  • Bless Walmart
    February 11, 2020 at 1:56 pm

    Be grateful for all Walmarts in Massachusetts. If they weren’t there, these folks would be populating the places where you buy your food and other things. And when facial recognition is sufficiently refined and perfected, every crime will be solved simply by waiting for the perp to enter their nearest Walmart store. If it weren’t for Walmart, civil war would already have started. Thank your CIA for that.

  • Kathleen Nash
    February 11, 2020 at 1:04 pm

    The Chicopee Walmart is the Inbred Capital of Massachusetts. The worst place ever.

  • Snarky Pete
    February 11, 2020 at 12:53 pm

    On Black Friday, black people run rampant at Walmart fighting over $99 TV’s. What is La Raza fighting over on Spic Sunday?

  • hartf811
    Honest Abe
    February 11, 2020 at 11:59 am

    The new Federal Budget will cut back on food stamps and welfare. These human petrie dishes of procreation will either need to find jobs or starve. Like Mastodons in earlier times, the worlds is changing. Evolve Fupadons or die.

  • ChrisInShrewsbury
    February 11, 2020 at 11:24 am

    Casual Observations:

    1) It’s rarely the well disciplined student of self defense in these videos. It’s almost always fat fucks with no training and an average IQ right around 90.
    2) Would love to know the identity of the fat fuck at the end of the first video. Assume he’s store security, although he never identifies himself as such and has no external/visible identification. He also appears to have the false legal entitlement of most bouncers. He appears to be on the verge of a physical interaction with the videographer which would certainly be a case of Battery. Walmart should either retrain him or fire him.

  • Deflateddoritodinks
    February 11, 2020 at 9:48 am

    I went to Walmart once because no other place had fishing line. My daughter said that she forgot she had a class project that needed fishing line the next day. I rushed down to Walmart and found broken shelves and product strewn all over the floor. The two types of people there were toothless hilljacks and Guatemalans complete with straw hats to protect them from the harsh Peabody sun as they worked the fields. Ten years later she admitted she lied, and needed the fishing line to tape to a quarter to pull away from her sister at the last minute. She was spared execution.

  • AOC Yeah You Know Me
    February 11, 2020 at 9:27 am

    3 shot at Arkansas Walmart because they couldnt pull themselves up by the boot streps. This is cruel

  • Washashore
    February 11, 2020 at 9:22 am

    If you thought this was frightening go to a Walmart on national no bra day…

    February 11, 2020 at 7:33 am

    “Z”, “FRANK RIZZO”, where are you?

    What would break up the fight faster? “The manager is coming, and he has job applications”?

    Or, “agentes de inmigración están en camino”? (ICE agents are on the way)

    Have a nice day.

  • Startled Pancake
    February 11, 2020 at 7:30 am

    WHOA, That’s Dope!!

    Those two Sumo Wrestlers at the top made this whole fucking article. Something about the flesh emerging from the bottom of a shirt tail is just uniquely funny.

    • Startled Pancake
      February 11, 2020 at 7:37 am

      “…That poor bear lying on top of a rack like it’s giving up completely on laugh is a metaphor for the Chicopee Walmart.”

      And that’s why I keep coming back here, folks.

      • Truth
        February 11, 2020 at 11:35 am

        I don’t speak dyslexia. Still have no clue what that meant

        • The Proof Reader That Uncle TB Didn't Hire
          February 11, 2020 at 8:20 pm

          He meant “life”. Not “laugh”.

          • Concerned Canadian
            February 12, 2020 at 1:01 am

            Sometimes, one person emerges who is so on point with their name game I want to life out loud.

  • Walmart is the root problem of this shit
    February 11, 2020 at 7:00 am

    I used to think this type of ratchet behavior happens only in the hood,..how wrong I was. It is Walmart that is the problem. Walmart brings nothing to a community but attracta low wage jobs for the completely unskilled. They purposely set hours below 32 per week (except for management) thereby keeping 90% of their employees dependent on MA Health insurance and allowing them to save billions on what they would have to contribute in health insurance costs. I fought the one they wanted to build in Sturbridge and lo and behold,…last weekend I ran thru there (one of my 3 trips a year in that place) i nearly shit myself! A black woman passed by me in a f,n pink bathrobe, nothing on underneath, with open toed house slippers! Dead of winter,…they cant evenput their pajamas on for Christ Sakes….now it’s just a bathrobe!!
    WHY WASN’T SHE ASKED TO LEAVE THE STORE?!?! I had to turn, walk after her and snap a pic bc I still can’t believe it! They will infiltrate any town that has a Walmart. I still can’t believe I saw this. Fuck Walmart.
    (I was trying to insert the photo here but, no idea how ppl have been doing that))

    • Just Jerkin MaGerkin
      February 11, 2020 at 8:26 pm

      Yeah but, Walmart has everything.

  • whatevuh
    February 11, 2020 at 6:50 am

    and they wonder why we all hate them . . . .

    February 11, 2020 at 6:33 am

    I wish I were there so I could have punched the “Gotta Put the Camera Away Chump” right in his pie hole, ordering his little store employee ass to STFU and get back to work dealing with breaking up the lowlife brawl. Fkn pussy face beyatch!

  • Ray Patriarca
    The Democrat legacy
    February 11, 2020 at 6:04 am

    Like watching an episode of Marlon Perkin’s ” Wild Kingdom”.
    Fucking savages !
    ” Tonight’s episode is brought to you by the Democrat Party”.

    • I'm Marty Stoufffer...
      February 11, 2020 at 7:33 am

      …And this is Wild America!

  • Yo Quiero Taco Bell
    February 11, 2020 at 5:53 am

    The Spanish version of the street cheetahs. I don’t think they were actually fighting, it was just a group of freeloading spic chicks dancing to “La Cuccarachia” Either that or they wanted the Frito Banditos autograph.

  • TortugaNiño
    February 11, 2020 at 4:19 am

    Not just her pajamas but socks only too! Hol fuckin ratchet!

  • New Hampshire Turtle Riders
    February 11, 2020 at 3:38 am

    Get out and vote TODAY.For the weakest candidate on your radar.

    • Sleepy Joe Biden
      February 11, 2020 at 3:45 am

      How Dare you

      • Feel the Burn...
        February 11, 2020 at 3:50 am

        Me….. you dog faced pony soldier!

      • Biden
        February 11, 2020 at 6:09 am

        Get Corn Pop after them

        • Granny Warren
          February 11, 2020 at 3:56 pm

          My sweaters are a very Presidential look.

  • Donald Trump
    February 11, 2020 at 2:06 am

    Lower the black unemployment rate = blacks have jobs.
    Blacks have jobs = blacks have money.
    Blacks have money = blacks go to WalMart.
    Blacks go to WalMart = stuff like this happens.

    This is what I want the country to look like. This will be my legacy.

    • Real Donald Trump
      February 11, 2020 at 4:57 pm

      You = Lame ass imitator

  • White Power
    February 11, 2020 at 1:58 am

    Dindu baboon jungle monkey nig nog porch gorilla MUD APES!

  • Silencio Dogood
    February 11, 2020 at 12:44 am

    Again, living here from the distant past, i’ve seen this type of behavior grow among Whites as a true appropriation of Black Culture, in all manners of dress and speech and animalistic shambles.

  • Chip Striker
    February 11, 2020 at 12:20 am

    Please blow up the ghettoes. These domestic terrorists are ruining my country and rotting it from the inside out.

    All brown skinned people please leave my country and return to the third world shithole you originated from.

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    Quid Pro Quo Joe
    February 11, 2020 at 12:00 am

    Bunch of dog faced pony soldiers.

    February 10, 2020 at 11:20 pm

    I was there. The cops caught him with his pants down and he was escorted out with just a shirt on with his ass cheeks and hairy Irish micro penis flapping around for all the world to point and laugh.

    • Startled Pancake
      February 11, 2020 at 8:46 am


      with the Potatoe N i g g e r Mafia

      You’ll get fucked up

    • Botticelli's Old Skin Mags
      February 11, 2020 at 10:57 am

      Josh? Didi?

    February 10, 2020 at 11:16 pm

    These women are cray cray.

  • Monkey
    February 10, 2020 at 11:06 pm

    What are these monkeys chimping about?

  • Michael Johnson
    True justice
    February 10, 2020 at 10:31 pm

    MAGA 2020.

  • Black Turtle Rider
    February 10, 2020 at 10:28 pm

    Ah Walmart, the store I go to when I want to feel like I’m on top of the evolutionary chain.

    • Casino Scum
      February 10, 2020 at 11:40 pm

      Go to people of Walmart.com you’ll feel like Royalty!

    • Giulia
      February 11, 2020 at 12:42 am

      I hear you Black Turtle, there’s nothing like a trip to good ole faaahkin’ Walmaaaht. Makes me feel like I’ve won the genetic lottery every time.

    • Mister Rogers
      February 11, 2020 at 1:09 pm

      Dunkins is going the way of Walmart. Their customers are slobs. I see Dunkins wax paper bags all over the streets.

  • One douche to another
    February 10, 2020 at 10:23 pm

    Fucking baboons will never learn. That’s what happens when u leave the cage unlocked

  • One douche to another
    February 10, 2020 at 10:20 pm

    They all need a punt in the cunt wtf was that all bout

  • Clean up on isle free
    February 10, 2020 at 10:20 pm

    From my extensive research I’ve deduced that the anchor baby section of Wal-Mart is most hostile. Tread with caution.

  • This doesn’t happen in
    February 10, 2020 at 10:18 pm

    Of Course this happened.

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