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The Straight Pride Parade Organizers Came On Live, Whined About Being Oppressed, Said They Get Laid Twice A Day, Insisted They’re Not Trolling, Walked Off The Show

 

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Bristol and Bret invited two of the organizers of the upcoming straight pride parade, former congressional candidate John Hugo and local bald dude Samson Racioppi, for a discussion about their event. I was not initially a part of this because I wanted to watch with turtle riders instead. However, I couldn’t deal with their bullshit after 30 minutes and barged onto the show to have my say with these clowns. Watch, or just read my analysis below the video. I apologize for the audio coming out of Bristol’s fupa computer.

My thoughts going into this were simple – if they’re trolling liberals and social justice warriors, I respect that. I troll SJWs for a living. I figured this was what they were doing.

But after watching them talk for half an hour I realized that they actually believe that they’re oppressed because they’re straight. Let me be clear here – neither gay people or straight people are oppressed in our society. The only people who are oppressed are monogamous people, AND the Bagel Guy.

They’re the only people who are denied access to GREAT things because of who they are. If you’re a straight guy getting tons of chicks, I totally agree that you should be proud of that. But in no way, shape, or form are you a victim. And that’s what these guys were trying to pretend tonight – that they are victimized because of their heterosexuality. In the words of Bret Killoran tonight, 

“A lot of people like pussy, you ain’t special mother fucker.”

– Bret Killoran

Need that on a t-shirt.

For that reason the first question I wanted to ask them was how often do they get laid? Because if you’re not getting laid at least 3 times a week then you have nothing to be proud of. Hugo told me that he got laid twice a day. Who’s gonna argue with that data?

Not me.

Then at the end we had to figure out who gets laid the most on an average week. They thought this question was beneath them.

“This has devolved into a conversation that we’re not a part of.”

But they’re literally running a parade that celebrates heterosexual sex, so I’m just playing on the field they laid out for us. Bret said he gets it 2.5 times, so I asked them a simple question – can you beat that? Because if you’re not getting laid more than Bret you have nothing to be proud of. They left after that because the trolls running the straight pride parade found this to be beneath them.

And that’s what really disappointed me about this – they couldn’t admit they’re trolling. For crying out loud, the name of their group is Super Happy Fun America. The guy leading the parade is freaking MILO! The gayest person on the planet. That’s the definition of trolling.

But they just had to whine about how they’re oppressed because Samson’s friend has a 12 year old daughter who said she’s pansexual and nonbinary. He cited FBI stats against straight people.

When I asked him simple questions he couldn’t answer he’d ramble on with this sort of stuff:

“You have two combat veterans here who went to war because our values were under attack….”

Oh fuck off with that bullshit. You didn’t go to war because our heterosexual values are under attack. Osama bin Laden didn’t look at America and tell his merry band of terrorists,

“Those guys get way too much pussy, and there isn’t nearly enough dude on dude ass-play. Let’s fly four planes into their major buildings.”

They just couldn’t stop.

“Do you know what it’s like to defend this country and then come home and have people attack you on the streets?”

You weren’t attacked on the streets because hot women give you chub though!! That’s the whole point!! No one wants to hurt you because you’re straight. Again:

“A lot of people like pussy, you ain’t special mother fucker.”

– Bret Killoran

These guys have adopted all of the behavior from the left that we mock. Frauds.

This isn’t a straight pride parade, it’s is a conservative pride parade. I wish they’d just admit that, because guess what? That’s actually a legitimate cause. You live in a state where people of your political ideology are a distinct minority. It takes balls to be openly conservative in Massachusetts. You know you’re gonna be labeled as a Nazi, a bigot, a sexist, and blah, blah, blah. I can respect that.

But a mob of gay dudes isn’t going to smear you because you like women. You’ll never have to come out of the closet and crush your mother’s dreams of what she envisioned your wedding to be. Gay people, just by being themselves, inevitably have to do this at some point. So having pride season will always be a good because it encourages people to not be ashamed to admit how they were made. They’re not fighting oppression anymore, but it has a purpose. Celebrating pride of your heterosexuality if you’re not getting laid 4-5 times has no purpose.

 

 

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33 Comment(s)
  • Not quite, right
    July 19, 2019 at 7:08 pm

    Walked Off? They said goodbye and hoped to talk to you soon.

  • This.
    July 15, 2019 at 10:16 am

    “These guys have adopted all of the behavior from the left that we mock. Frauds.”

    Its about time people realize both sides are the same.

  • Art R.
    July 14, 2019 at 5:27 pm

    This line is a lie!
    “encourages people to not be ashamed to admit how they were made. ”
    Homosexuality is a choice, that is science – there is no such thing as a gay gene. People are NOT made gay. Homosexuality is a choice, good or bad, agree with the lifestyle or not – it is a choice.

  • Jussie Smollett
    July 13, 2019 at 6:19 pm

    Bristol kind of gives me wood so I guess I’m not gay after all

  • Natasha
    July 13, 2019 at 3:56 pm

    All hail Iguana Girl!

  • Richyrich
    July 13, 2019 at 2:42 pm

    These boneheads. I don’t need to put myself through the misery of traveling to Boston to see bunch of nitwit straight drunk dudes. I can get that every single day in my hometown in New Hampshire.

  • Cheddah
    July 13, 2019 at 1:23 pm

    BOOOORRRIIINNNG….

  • Fuck Em
    July 13, 2019 at 11:51 am

    What I can’t believe from all this is Brett Killoran gets laid 2.5 times a week!
    Who’s the unlucky guy?

    • EBreT
      July 13, 2019 at 7:37 pm

      Bret fucked a pile of cocaine that he bought with food stamps so leave him the fuck alone.

  • Y
    July 13, 2019 at 11:20 am

    • Dr Girlfriend
      July 13, 2019 at 12:04 pm

      That manlet is reminiscent of an irate, bootleg How Pesci caricature. Hilarious. Comedy gold!

  • Judge dread
    July 13, 2019 at 10:34 am

    10 to 1 they western union money to India to buy bootleg viagra off the internet.

  • massholes
    July 13, 2019 at 10:32 am

    Sports fans over 30 years old are gay.

  • Liawatha
    July 13, 2019 at 10:21 am

    Only the LBGTQQAAIPS Community should be allowed to march in parades. Straight whites should be banned!

  • Betty Ford
    July 13, 2019 at 9:37 am

    Well put Unc. Inevitably we were going to have these types come out.

  • Todd
    July 13, 2019 at 9:05 am

    It is possible they can’t publicly admit they are trolling. Maybe they are afraid the city will pull their permit if they actually admit it? I’m sure the city is looking for any reason they can to stop the parade so they are being very careful. Maybe interview them again after.

    • Y
      July 13, 2019 at 11:30 am

      I was thinking the same. They have to keep the charade going till the end or else Mohammad Marty will cancel their permit.

    • z
      July 13, 2019 at 11:48 am

      Any virtue signaling public event that excludes is trolling.

      BLM.
      Gay Pride.
      These guys.
      Antifa.
      Neo-Nazis.

      Deep in their hearts they want to get a negative rise out of people.
      You get Milo Yiannopoulo as your grand Marshall? And it’s not trolling?
      I like the guy btw. It takes a lot of skill to piss people off like he can. It’s an art form.

      My co-favorite movie “Slap Shot”, the scene where the player starts doing a strip tease on the ice. There’s a brawl on the ice with blood and teeth everywhere. They stop fighting and a opposing player goes up to the ref and screams “STOP THAT!!!! THAT’S DISGUSTING!!!!”.

      Another analogy would be Fog Horn Leg Horn. He’d bait the dog on the leash constantly so the dog would run to the end of the leash and choke himself.

  • WeRFucked
    July 13, 2019 at 8:31 am

    I’m so looking forward to dressing like a gay guy and going to this, even though I’m 100% hetero.
    You know… daisy dukes so tight you can see the outline of my penis right down to the veins. A rainbow halter top. & high heeled shoes. Because that’s what makes me hate some queers and think they must have all mental illness. Because they can’t just be gay. They have to be faggots too.
    Lesbians who try to look like men. They’re just as fucked up. If you are gay, and dress/act normal, I won’t even notice you. That’s how it should be. When you show me how retarded you are by acting/dressing a certain way, I’m not convinced being gay is something that you’re born with. You’re helping me to prove it’s actually a mental illness. Just like tattoos are.

    • z
      July 13, 2019 at 11:59 am

      Carry a sign that says “I’m a straight guy who likes dick.”
      On the sign have a photo of Sen. Richard Blumenthal of Connecticut.
      Unfortunately Richie Neal has his Congressional district in Western Mass.
      He’d be a shoe in for that photo if he represented Boston.
      Bet, you make the local news.
      When asked, say “He fabulous, darling!!!”

      • z
        July 13, 2019 at 12:06 pm

        Obviously we don’t what others here all look like.
        If you can pull off an masculine looking transvestite, a sign stating “Trannys for Trump” would get you some attention.

  • Julie the Jarhead
    July 13, 2019 at 7:43 am

    What rock did Milo crawl out from under?

    • Monster Is A Job Search Too
      July 14, 2019 at 12:35 am

      He was under a help Wanted section of the paper. You would never find him.

  • Randy Price
    July 13, 2019 at 7:15 am

    Good for them. I hope it’s a huge success. This Pride stuff is out of hand. I don’t care if you’re a faggot. Has no impact on my life.

  • New England ANTIFA
    July 13, 2019 at 6:39 am

    Don’t worry Turtleboy we will be at the parade to protect you.
    We take care of our brothers.

  • Samson
    July 13, 2019 at 2:10 am

    Trash audio from a trash outlet. Big surprise there

    • Samson
      July 13, 2019 at 2:26 am

      By the way, Aidan.. You didn’t think it was funny when someone sent mail to all your neighbors talking about how disingenuous you are, right? You even REPORTED IT TO AUTHORITIES?! Come on–how can you call us sensitive knowing this is in your background?

      You talk quite the game when it comes to standing up against Antifa but not once have we seen any of you in the streets. Let’s see who’s really got bite to back up their bark on August 31st–or maybe like usual you’ll complain from the comfort of your studio.

      Antifa has been running wild in the streets of Boston for a couple years now. Where you been? You gonna let a bunch of wannabe terrorists get away with practically murder–and then treat us like we’re the bad guys?

      Some conservatives you are.

      Tonight is the extent of the attention we are giving you on this matter. Go back to writing obscene articles while pretending you’re doing something productive for free speech–we’ll be busy doing real things in real movements.

      • John Bender
        July 14, 2019 at 12:39 am

        What the fuck are you babbling about?

      • Who Hurt You, Sam?
        July 14, 2019 at 10:02 am

        Why are you suck a whiny, sensitive cuck? Your parade is stupid, maybe the next real movement you make should be to your parents to admit you love to suck cocks?.

    • Question
      July 13, 2019 at 12:04 pm

      Did anyone bother using headphones except Bristol? Her audio was good – it always is. The feedback from the others would lead me to believe that no one else was using headphones….. broadcast 101. Duh.

  • Waste of Time
    July 13, 2019 at 1:13 am

    If you haven’t watched it but are planning to, don’t bother. The audio is so bad it’s maddening.

  • Turtle Rider
    July 13, 2019 at 12:43 am

    I’ll be at the parade. I even have a sign made that says shove fags in ovens.

    • Stupid Sign
      July 13, 2019 at 12:50 am

      That’s gay.

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