Social Justice Warriors

These Girls From Brookline Whose Parents Made Them Circulate A Petition To Get Dunkin Donuts To Ban Straws Can Kiss My Ass

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WHDHTwo Brookline girls looking to help the environment gathered more than 100,000 signatures petitioning Dunkin’ Donuts to get rid of plastic straws. Sophia Cukras and Amanda He started the petition after being moved by a video of a plastic straw that had to be removed from a sea turtles nose.

“We’ve learned that plastic has been getting into the oceans and instead of decomposing, plastic stays there,” Cukras said.

The pair delivered 162,000 signatures to the Dunkin’ Donuts headquarters in Canton, which urges the fast food restaurant chain to change their straw ways.

“They said they were trying to improve the environment and they made changes that aren’t necessarily visible,” Cukras said after visiting with Dunkin’ Donuts leaders.

The company released a statement that reads in part: “Dunkin’ Donuts is committed to making improvements to our packaging that makes sense for the planet and for our customers. We are constantly evaluating all of our packaging including plastic straws.”

Cukras and He hope their actions will inspire more kids to speak up for what they believe in.

Sorry kids, but you can go pound sand. It’s nice that you young ladies care about more than just watching the Kardashians on your iMachines. But neither of you has ever had Dunkin Donuts iced coffee before. You can’t drink an iced coffee without a straw. You could, I suppose. But I wouldn’t recommend. Tried it once, not even close to the same thing. Everything tastes better with a straw.

And yea, it’s too bad that sea turtle got a straw stuck in its nose, but chances are a shark has eaten him now. If you really wanna save the turtles, you should join in our movement to start killing sharks. They’re really mean and not nice to turtles.

Of course we all know that since these girls are from Brookline none of this was their idea. Their parents are likely very wealthy and looking for a cause to get excited about, so they brainwashed their children to believe that they have the ability to fix the environment by banning straws. And they realize that cute little kids are much more likely to get people to sign a petition than an overbearing SJW millionaire from Brookline.

The fact of the matter is that this will do nothing to fix anything. The iced coffee is still going to come in a giant plastic cup. If you throw it in the ocean it can hurt an animal. So the moral of the story is, don’t throw shit in the ocean. This is why every town in this state (I think) has a recycling program. Sorry kids, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you’re not actually making a difference, and if Dunkin Donuts gets rid of straws, I’m going to hate you. Just sayin.

21 Comment(s)
  • mike
    August 26, 2018 at 12:11 pm

    fuck this auto-loading bullshit, i just want to read the comments and scrolling doesnt work. FUCK

  • anaon
    August 26, 2018 at 9:38 am

    brookline has become a huge pothead community
    check thier weekly police logs…there is always over a dozen juveniles caught with smoking pot

  • Lala
    August 24, 2018 at 11:38 pm

    Have you used a paper straw? Moron roll up a piece of paper and suck! Does it work? Yeah? Wait three minutes.. lala lala lala…still work? No? Paper straw…your welcome.

  • Wade Boggs Taint
    August 24, 2018 at 9:52 pm

    Kill trees, kill animals, kill kill kill. What the fuck do I care. I’m at the top of the food chain. I’ll be long dead bef6any of this shit means anything. I still pour my oil down the sewer after I change it, burn plastic when I burn my leaves, but beer with plastic rings , put paint in my black garbage bag and fuck recycling. Little cunts can crawl back up into their mommy’s birth canals and die in a reverse abortion.

    • Wade Boggs’ Penis
      August 25, 2018 at 1:17 pm

      Hey Boggs’ asshole. If you’re pouring oil down a sewer drain- you are an asshole.

      • Wade Boggs Taint
        August 26, 2018 at 10:08 pm

        Just poured 5 quarts down again this afternoon fuck knuckle. Hopefully it flushes out next to your kids playground. Go fuck yourself with a barbed wire dildo

  • Coke Fien
    August 24, 2018 at 8:05 pm

    Already use paper straws, they’re called $20 bills yo’.
    ( or Natasha Aponte’s fried egg titties)

  • Yuck
    August 24, 2018 at 5:27 pm

    I’ll be goddamned if I have to drink my Dunk’s iced coffee without a motherfucking straw!!! Trust me, there are literally worse things to go after than fucking straws. Start with greenhouse gases and ocean acidification for starters and work your way up from there.

    • Hughbo Mont
      August 25, 2018 at 6:38 am

      LOL It’s obvious you drink your Koolaid through a straw, too.

  • Wabbitt
    August 24, 2018 at 4:57 pm

    So be like Starbucks – who replaced straws with a new lid that uses more plastic than the old straw and lid combo did? Great plan

  • The Vorlon
    The Vorlon
    August 24, 2018 at 4:42 pm

    And while we are on the subject, Kroger can bite my ass! If you think that I am going to spend one thin dime in your stores once the plastic bags are gone, your more insane than these two pod people, er, youngsters.

    Same to you town of Plymouth–I stopped spending money within your town limits. You are preventing the merchants from getting their product into my house safely. Figure the odds that two two litre bottles of soda can go more than six inches in those crappy paper bags!

  • commonsenceguy
    August 24, 2018 at 4:17 pm

    Instead of banning straws and putting straw makers out of work, Hire some scientists to make biodegradeable plastic to make straws and cups out of. WTF people when are you gonna smarten up?

  • Kyle “Pure” Kennedy
    August 24, 2018 at 3:46 pm

    Imma keep using straws and taking extra to peg my ass pretending it’s Aaron #81

  • Adolf
    August 24, 2018 at 3:42 pm

    These girls definitely drove a vehicle that uses gas, or electric, since electric destroys natural habitats too. They definitely ate meat, grains or plants today. Which all cause direct harm to animals and natural habitats. They definitely live in a home, with a paved drive way. That effects that environment. Like George Carlin says, and not word for word but in the spirit of the idea “These yuppies don’t care about the environment, they care about their areas looking pleasant. They don’t want litter”
    Not to mention that their home is likely built on stolen land from the Cherokee tribe with the use of capitalist slave labor.
    Paper straw?
    If you drive your car, or use electricity, or running water, or basically exist in modern society, I don’t want to hear how “environmentally conscience” you are because you’re using a paper straw. For this country to sustain the 350 million people living in, plus all the Illegals you want to come in, we need to do environmentally unfriendly things. It’s impossible otherwise.

  • Lou P
    Lou P
    August 24, 2018 at 3:35 pm

    Yep. The hard truth.
    BTW – paper straws do work.
    Anyway ….. I hate SJW’s more and more

  • ChrisInShrewsbury
    August 24, 2018 at 3:11 pm

    Men don’t drink from Fucking straws. It’s gay. Ok, so maybe gay men do, but fuck that noise.

    Put coffee in my thermos so I can go to work. Keep moving, nothing to see here.

  • Ace
    August 24, 2018 at 2:40 pm

    Turtleboy you’re an ass. Better that you keep it to yourself, than blog, and prove it everyone. You ever hear of paper straws? Moron

    • Drago
      August 24, 2018 at 3:10 pm

      Paper straws are shit

      • Y
        August 24, 2018 at 3:26 pm

        Paper straws are kind of like lamb skin condoms

    • I'm Back
      August 24, 2018 at 3:16 pm

      Paper straws… Seriously? Yeah its the equivalent of using a paper fucking spoon….

    • Mike
      August 24, 2018 at 3:29 pm

      The ones they ship wrapped in cellophane?

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