Hoodrat Heroes

Things That Never Happened Thursday: Clinton Gravy Biscuit Says Trash Made Her Fall And Destroy Her Face, Posts Pictures Of 2 Clearly Different Injuries, Claims It’s A Selfie Illusion

 

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It’s Friday, but I just came up with an idea for a new weekly blog we can start doing – “Things that never happen Thursday.” So let’s pretend it’s a Thursday and enjoy this gem out of Clinton.

Now she’ll never be a teen model!

Don’t ya hate it when you’re going for a walk in the park, you come across some trash and it just kicks the ever loving shit out you? Girlfriend’s face looks like a road in Montenegro after a NATO airstrike. Thoughts and prayers.

But wait a minute…..those two pictures of the same woman show very different injuries, and they’re on very different eyes. The one on the left looks like her left forehead is giving birth, and the one on the right looks like a Saudi woman who tried to read a book without getting permission from her husband. How does she explain these drastically different images?

 

Just to be clear what happened here:

  • She went for a walk in the park at 7 PM, in the pitch black, when it was well below freezing, tripped over some trash and destroyed her face
  • The reason it looks like her right eye is fucked up in one picture but the left eye and forehead are fucked up in the other picture, is because she took a selfie for one of the images, and her husband took a picture in the other one
  • There is still no explanation why one of them looks like a black eye but the other looks like a tumor

Wait…..what? I don’t think that’s how selfies work Donna.

Obviously this never actually happened. Obviously. But because someone posted it on Facebook it must be true and the thoughts and prayers mafia showed up in full force to let her know they had her back.

Admin Chad, who lives in Washington state and runs a Central Mass townie Facebook group came to her defense as well.

Yea, she’s def got a great point about picking up trash. I’ve been to Clinton once, there’s dangerous trash everywhere. Mostly in and around the courthouse, but still. Sure, she completely fabricated a story that only a complete and total idiot would believe, but she made us all think about picking up our trash in the process, so I guess that’s what’s really important. Cuz…feelings.

 

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51 Comment(s)
  • Ike Turner
    November 19, 2019 at 11:33 am

    Uh oh, now have to watch out for a SSTG hipfire. It’s the same eye and could be the same injury. Yes the excuse is trash, pun intended, but this take is dog shit.

  • Wifebeater ain't just a fashion accesory
    November 19, 2019 at 12:51 am

    Everyone going on about food, you’re wrong. Had nothing do with it.
    Rent was coming due and we were a little short, seeing as some wagers didn’t go my way down at the pub.
    So I tells her she’s go to take care of my friend, Larry with a little hummer action and stuff, then he’ll cover the shortage. She says no, I ain’t that kind of woman.
    I says yes you are, you are exactly that kind, the fuckin BROKE kind so you best set your mind to milking Larry’s nuts, one way or another.
    She still says no and I ring her chimes to bring her back to reality. So she’s sniffling and crying and shit but she got the job done.
    Funny part is, Larry tells me after that the sobbing on his knob made him get off a lot quicker than he would have liked but a deal’s a deal and the rent got covered.
    Now I ain’t heartless, I had Larry drive her to the hospital once she cleaned up and gargled some Scope.
    Gotta give her credit, she thought up the trash story all by herself.

  • Startled Pancake
    November 18, 2019 at 8:56 pm

    Looks like fucking Beethoven’s death mask.

  • Cheeseman
    November 17, 2019 at 2:08 am

    All you need to do is look at the advertising on TB to see what a ridiculous shit venture that it is
    Run by a school teacher that got fired
    How many school teachers do you know who have been fired?

    • Mance
      November 17, 2019 at 3:15 pm

      Someone was featured unfavorably on this site! LMAO.

    • WeRFucked
      November 18, 2019 at 8:40 am

      And those advertisers are here thanks to your page views Cheesey. Please keep viewing the blog of the dumb fired school teacher you pretend to hate. Every page view helps, TBS appreciates them all, especially the ones who can’t get enough so they keep coming back.

      TBS haters are so dumb. Cheesey’s comment solidifies that.

      See you on the next blog too, because you’ll read it. No doubt.

  • Aspiring Baby Daddy
    November 16, 2019 at 11:35 pm

    SSTG is a great freaking writer. Seriously, I have writer’s envy when I read her posts.

    “…the one on the right looks like a Saudi woman who tried to read a book without permission from her husband.”

    This is enlightened prose.

  • I got lips
    November 16, 2019 at 4:41 pm

    Where are her fucking lips..Said no one

    • Captain Trips
      November 17, 2019 at 10:18 am

      Same place her teeth went lol

  • Mance
    November 16, 2019 at 4:24 pm

    The images are flipped. It IS the same eye. You can see a little diagonal scar on the edge of her lower lip that is also flipped. In the one with the purple eye, the swelling had gone down and left that bruising.

    • WeRFucked
      November 18, 2019 at 8:45 am

      Yup. Stupid post admitting you tripped over trash, but that is indeed the same eye. Easily those injuries are from the same trauma, with the picture taken an hour apart.

  • Donna's Husband
    November 16, 2019 at 1:30 pm

    Get me a beer dammit or I’ll knock out yer dentures again!

  • Klancy
    November 15, 2019 at 10:57 pm

    Ah, but there is one truth in the set of these photos.
    The one on the left was taken by a man because…..it’s a photo.
    The one on the right was taken by a woman because she’s run it thru an airbrush, added some makeup and cleaned up her under eye circles.
    The fact that they have nothing to do with reality doesn’t matter.

  • Spic Tormentor
    November 15, 2019 at 8:40 pm

    That is one ugly ass broad

  • Dick Scratcher
    November 15, 2019 at 8:03 pm

    I’m starting a GoFuckOff on behalf of this stupid bint.

    It’s like a GoFundMe but once you donate the money to them, the cunt has to fuck right off and never return.

    • DS is a Tool
      November 16, 2019 at 9:43 am

      Your schtick is pathetic and un-funny.

  • Sue the City?
    November 15, 2019 at 6:20 pm

    I smell a lawsuit against the city. Anyone else?

  • whatevuh
    November 15, 2019 at 5:52 pm

    Looks like she fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down . . . I’m sorry, that wasn’t nice..

  • Andy Capp
    November 15, 2019 at 5:41 pm

    Look at it this way honey, I am a man of few pleasures, and one of them appears to be knockin’ yer about.

  • Barfly Landscaping
    November 15, 2019 at 5:37 pm

    Wonder what her BAC was?

  • ANGRY GIANT
    November 15, 2019 at 5:35 pm

    How did she sustain injuries worse than the Steelers quarterback?

  • Ike Turner
    November 15, 2019 at 5:10 pm

    What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

  • fax
    November 15, 2019 at 4:23 pm

    If looks like she got hit upside eye with a black jack. I do not know the full story so lets wait for fax.

  • bigdaddy
    November 15, 2019 at 4:13 pm

    No go fund me page yet ?

  • How’d you like a nice Hawaiian Punch ??!!
    November 15, 2019 at 3:40 pm

    Looks like the ol’ bar rag is getting a nice pair of Irish sunglasses for an early Xmas present.
    “Don’t you EVER make me instant fuckiin’ mashed potatoes again, bitch !!”

  • Also...
    November 15, 2019 at 3:32 pm

    One thing that didn’t happened Friday…

    SSTG didn’t have any good material for a post.

  • LOLz
    November 15, 2019 at 3:28 pm

    Covering the things the LAMESTREAM MEDIA IGNORES!!!!!!

  • And?
    November 15, 2019 at 3:26 pm

    Ummm. OK.

    Also…who cares?

  • WTFW
    November 15, 2019 at 3:23 pm

    I know it’s Friday but for the hell of it I’m calling it What the fuck is the point of this story Wednesday.

  • Liawatha
    November 15, 2019 at 3:20 pm

    It is just so disheartening that republicans threw trash all over that park. smh. Best of luck in your convalescence Donna Marie.

  • DudeRanchStripClub
    November 15, 2019 at 3:13 pm

    Taking bets on how cold dinner was when her husband got home.

  • Finn
    November 15, 2019 at 2:29 pm

    I think I hate Chad more.

    Get Fucked,
    Finn

    • Concerned neighbor
      November 15, 2019 at 6:52 pm

      You seem to hate everyone. Perhaps a long and honest look in the mirror? Narcissistic tendencies and grandiose idealizations. We’re all very concerned. Everything on par with your meds lately?

      • Finn
        November 15, 2019 at 10:04 pm

        Concerned Cunt,

        “You seem to hate everyone.”
        You get that from 1 line of a post? Following me makes you a fan. Forgive me – but I’ve never read anything you’ve written.

        “We’re all very concerned.”
        I don’t care.

        Eat a dick.

        Get Fucked,
        Finn

        • Passing observation
          November 16, 2019 at 9:20 am

          Your response actually added merit to the suggestion that you most likely have some issues. The assumption that you’re “followed” and have “fans” is laughable. Some of us who regularly read can not help but notice your constant need to goad random people on the internet into arguments. Troll.

          • Corinth Arkadin
            November 18, 2019 at 8:59 pm

            “Troll”

            “concerned”

            g’wan get the fuck outta here

        • another observation
          November 16, 2019 at 10:23 am

          How many pissing contests have you tried to initiate in the comment section of an obscure blog? Contemplate that one Finn. You seem to have a firm grasp on everything. Or at the very least, you project an inflated air of confidence.

          • Finn
            November 16, 2019 at 11:59 am

            Yet here you are. Obsessed.

            Get Fucked,
            Finn

            p.s. no one cares about your “observations”. Stick to the story.

      • There goes the neighborhood
        November 16, 2019 at 12:58 pm

        Perceived obsession? Point proven.
        Whatever you need to tell yourself Finn. Hopefully you’re not my neighbor.

        • Me too is bullshit
          November 16, 2019 at 1:41 pm

          A cry for help. Finn presents all the benchmark red flags of a work place shooter. Danvers had a place for it when society was remotely normal.

        • Finn= Northern version of Dennis Rader
          November 16, 2019 at 3:23 pm

          Nothing more to say.

        • Finn
          November 16, 2019 at 11:26 pm

          Nice, but I saw you guys all used the same email addresses. Look at the time between records. Fucking rookies.

          Get fucked,
          Finn

          p.s. I see more than you think. I do NOT work for Uncle Boy.

          • Wicked bitch of the West
            November 17, 2019 at 8:02 pm

            Mea culpa Finn. You’re clearly superior to the rest of us quite often overlooked.
            If it helps to know, you are so much smarter. We’re navigating a shit hand life has already handed out.
            Have a good night.

          • waltzing Matilda
            November 19, 2019 at 10:34 pm

            You would actually have taken time out of your day to look into the origin of a comment?
            Your life must be so dynamic.
            You see things? Ok. It’s all ok. Do you have auditory hallucinations too?
            Check your meds hardo.

  • Doodoo
    November 15, 2019 at 2:27 pm

    She a lying shitlover.

  • The angry taint
    November 15, 2019 at 2:26 pm

    Ok here we go……1)a definite improvement. 2)those are not fresh injuries. 3) is jackie child’s available to handle this case? 4) does Massachusetts have a town named Clinton? Do dragons live there? 5)Y, I love that comment.

    • The angry taint
      November 15, 2019 at 2:29 pm

      Forgot ….6) my favorite jeopardy category

      • Finn
        November 15, 2019 at 2:33 pm

        “I’ll take things that didn’t happen for $500, Alex!”

  • ncfoothillbilly
    November 15, 2019 at 2:16 pm

    BITCH! I told you no effin’ mayo on my sammich!

  • Tom N Jerry
    November 15, 2019 at 2:06 pm

    The old banana peel trick?

  • Y
    November 15, 2019 at 1:56 pm

    Looks like her husband had to tell her twice.

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