It’s Friday, but I just came up with an idea for a new weekly blog we can start doing – “Things that never happen Thursday.” So let’s pretend it’s a Thursday and enjoy this gem out of Clinton.
Now she’ll never be a teen model!
Don’t ya hate it when you’re going for a walk in the park, you come across some trash and it just kicks the ever loving shit out you? Girlfriend’s face looks like a road in Montenegro after a NATO airstrike. Thoughts and prayers.
But wait a minute…..those two pictures of the same woman show very different injuries, and they’re on very different eyes. The one on the left looks like her left forehead is giving birth, and the one on the right looks like a Saudi woman who tried to read a book without getting permission from her husband. How does she explain these drastically different images?
Just to be clear what happened here:
- She went for a walk in the park at 7 PM, in the pitch black, when it was well below freezing, tripped over some trash and destroyed her face
- The reason it looks like her right eye is fucked up in one picture but the left eye and forehead are fucked up in the other picture, is because she took a selfie for one of the images, and her husband took a picture in the other one
- There is still no explanation why one of them looks like a black eye but the other looks like a tumor
Wait…..what? I don’t think that’s how selfies work Donna.
Obviously this never actually happened. Obviously. But because someone posted it on Facebook it must be true and the thoughts and prayers mafia showed up in full force to let her know they had her back.
Admin Chad, who lives in Washington state and runs a Central Mass townie Facebook group came to her defense as well.
Yea, she’s def got a great point about picking up trash. I’ve been to Clinton once, there’s dangerous trash everywhere. Mostly in and around the courthouse, but still. Sure, she completely fabricated a story that only a complete and total idiot would believe, but she made us all think about picking up our trash in the process, so I guess that’s what’s really important. Cuz…feelings.
Please consider supporting local journalism by donating to the Turtle fund:
Follow us on Youtube, SoundCloud, Twitter, and Facebook.
Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy:
Uh oh, now have to watch out for a SSTG hipfire. It’s the same eye and could be the same injury. Yes the excuse is trash, pun intended, but this take is dog shit.
Everyone going on about food, you’re wrong. Had nothing do with it.
Rent was coming due and we were a little short, seeing as some wagers didn’t go my way down at the pub.
So I tells her she’s go to take care of my friend, Larry with a little hummer action and stuff, then he’ll cover the shortage. She says no, I ain’t that kind of woman.
I says yes you are, you are exactly that kind, the fuckin BROKE kind so you best set your mind to milking Larry’s nuts, one way or another.
She still says no and I ring her chimes to bring her back to reality. So she’s sniffling and crying and shit but she got the job done.
Funny part is, Larry tells me after that the sobbing on his knob made him get off a lot quicker than he would have liked but a deal’s a deal and the rent got covered.
Now I ain’t heartless, I had Larry drive her to the hospital once she cleaned up and gargled some Scope.
Gotta give her credit, she thought up the trash story all by herself.
Looks like fucking Beethoven’s death mask.
All you need to do is look at the advertising on TB to see what a ridiculous shit venture that it is
Run by a school teacher that got fired
How many school teachers do you know who have been fired?
Someone was featured unfavorably on this site! LMAO.
And those advertisers are here thanks to your page views Cheesey. Please keep viewing the blog of the dumb fired school teacher you pretend to hate. Every page view helps, TBS appreciates them all, especially the ones who can’t get enough so they keep coming back.
TBS haters are so dumb. Cheesey’s comment solidifies that.
See you on the next blog too, because you’ll read it. No doubt.
SSTG is a great freaking writer. Seriously, I have writer’s envy when I read her posts.
“…the one on the right looks like a Saudi woman who tried to read a book without permission from her husband.”
This is enlightened prose.
Where are her fucking lips..Said no one
Same place her teeth went lol
The images are flipped. It IS the same eye. You can see a little diagonal scar on the edge of her lower lip that is also flipped. In the one with the purple eye, the swelling had gone down and left that bruising.
Yup. Stupid post admitting you tripped over trash, but that is indeed the same eye. Easily those injuries are from the same trauma, with the picture taken an hour apart.
Get me a beer dammit or I’ll knock out yer dentures again!
Ah, but there is one truth in the set of these photos.
The one on the left was taken by a man because…..it’s a photo.
The one on the right was taken by a woman because she’s run it thru an airbrush, added some makeup and cleaned up her under eye circles.
The fact that they have nothing to do with reality doesn’t matter.
That is one ugly ass broad
I’m starting a GoFuckOff on behalf of this stupid bint.
It’s like a GoFundMe but once you donate the money to them, the cunt has to fuck right off and never return.
Your schtick is pathetic and un-funny.
I smell a lawsuit against the city. Anyone else?
Looks like she fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down . . . I’m sorry, that wasn’t nice..
Look at it this way honey, I am a man of few pleasures, and one of them appears to be knockin’ yer about.
Wonder what her BAC was?
How did she sustain injuries worse than the Steelers quarterback?
What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.
If looks like she got hit upside eye with a black jack. I do not know the full story so lets wait for fax.
No go fund me page yet ?
Looks like the ol’ bar rag is getting a nice pair of Irish sunglasses for an early Xmas present.
“Don’t you EVER make me instant fuckiin’ mashed potatoes again, bitch !!”
One thing that didn’t happened Friday…
SSTG didn’t have any good material for a post.
Covering the things the LAMESTREAM MEDIA IGNORES!!!!!!
I know it’s Friday but for the hell of it I’m calling it What the fuck is the point of this story Wednesday.
It is just so disheartening that republicans threw trash all over that park. smh. Best of luck in your convalescence Donna Marie.
Taking bets on how cold dinner was when her husband got home.
I think I hate Chad more.
You seem to hate everyone. Perhaps a long and honest look in the mirror? Narcissistic tendencies and grandiose idealizations. We’re all very concerned. Everything on par with your meds lately?
“You seem to hate everyone.”
You get that from 1 line of a post? Following me makes you a fan. Forgive me – but I’ve never read anything you’ve written.
“We’re all very concerned.”
I don’t care.
Eat a dick.
Your response actually added merit to the suggestion that you most likely have some issues. The assumption that you’re “followed” and have “fans” is laughable. Some of us who regularly read can not help but notice your constant need to goad random people on the internet into arguments. Troll.
g’wan get the fuck outta here
How many pissing contests have you tried to initiate in the comment section of an obscure blog? Contemplate that one Finn. You seem to have a firm grasp on everything. Or at the very least, you project an inflated air of confidence.
Yet here you are. Obsessed.
p.s. no one cares about your “observations”. Stick to the story.
Perceived obsession? Point proven.
Whatever you need to tell yourself Finn. Hopefully you’re not my neighbor.
A cry for help. Finn presents all the benchmark red flags of a work place shooter. Danvers had a place for it when society was remotely normal.
Nothing more to say.
Nice, but I saw you guys all used the same email addresses. Look at the time between records. Fucking rookies.
p.s. I see more than you think. I do NOT work for Uncle Boy.
Mea culpa Finn. You’re clearly superior to the rest of us quite often overlooked.
If it helps to know, you are so much smarter. We’re navigating a shit hand life has already handed out.
Have a good night.
You would actually have taken time out of your day to look into the origin of a comment?
Your life must be so dynamic.
You see things? Ok. It’s all ok. Do you have auditory hallucinations too?
Check your meds hardo.
She a lying shitlover.
Ok here we go……1)a definite improvement. 2)those are not fresh injuries. 3) is jackie child’s available to handle this case? 4) does Massachusetts have a town named Clinton? Do dragons live there? 5)Y, I love that comment.
Forgot ….6) my favorite jeopardy category
“I’ll take things that didn’t happen for $500, Alex!”
BITCH! I told you no effin’ mayo on my sammich!
The old banana peel trick?
Looks like her husband had to tell her twice.