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Sunday is the St. Patrick’s Day Parade in Worcester, which means one thing – there will be an ongoing battle to see which drunk, aggressive 20 year old is the biggest hardo on Park Ave. I feel like the further down you go on the parade route, the less eventful it gets. Once you pass the intersection with Chandler Street is turns into lovely families enjoying the parade. But if you bring your kids from anywhere in between Smokey Joe’s and the Blarney, someone should probably call DCF on your ass. It’s just not appropriate. As far as the eye can see there are people doing shots, making out, calling Jim McGovern a communist, and of course fighting. It wouldn’t be a parade if there weren’t a bunch of fights. Or at least some “almost fights.” Like this “almost fight” from last year in the Wendy’s parking lot between a guy who had too much to drink and kept running his mouth, and another guy who couldn’t let it go and needed to be held back by the never ending supply of junior smokeshows in North Face jackets:
I’m so happy that I don’t have any pride in myself any more. I just couldn’t imagine ever caring that much about what some random drunk guy dressed like Keebler Elf had to say to me in a Wendy’s parking lot. Once you stop having pride in yourself and worrying about defending your honor from random people life gets so much less stressful. Until you pop up the devil incarnate like Turtleboy Jr. Then you’re fucked.
After watching that video I have one question – what’s the age when dudes decide to stop giving each other “daps” and start shaking hands like men? I haven’t given daps in forever, but it used to be the standard greeting and farewell. When did that change? Did we all come to a consensus at one point? Is it when you got a real job? And how has their never been an awkward situation where one person tries to give daps and the other tries to shake hands like a man?
Anyway, if you’re at the parade tomorrow and you see shenanigans such as this, please feel free to send them our way. Because nothing is more Worcester than the St. Patrick’s Day Parade.
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