Hoodrat Heroes

This Almost Fight In The Wendy’s Parking Lot From Last Year’s St. Patrick’s Day Parade Has Us Juiced Up For More Debauchery On Sunday

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Sunday is the St. Patrick’s Day Parade in Worcester, which means one thing – there will be an ongoing battle to see which drunk, aggressive 20 year old is the biggest hardo on Park Ave. I feel like the further down you go on the parade route, the less eventful it gets. Once you pass the intersection with Chandler Street is turns into lovely families enjoying the parade. But if you bring your kids from anywhere in between Smokey Joe’s and the Blarney, someone should probably call DCF on your ass. It’s just not appropriate. As far as the eye can see there are people doing shots, making out, calling Jim McGovern a communist, and of course fighting. It wouldn’t be a parade if there weren’t a bunch of fights. Or at least some “almost fights.” Like this “almost fight” from last year in the Wendy’s parking lot between a guy who had too much to drink and kept running his mouth, and another guy who couldn’t let it go and needed to be held back by the never ending supply of junior smokeshows in North Face jackets:

I’m so happy that I don’t have any pride in myself any more. I just couldn’t imagine ever caring that much about what some random drunk guy dressed like Keebler Elf had to say to me in a Wendy’s parking lot. Once you stop having pride in yourself and worrying about defending your honor from random people life gets so much less stressful. Until you pop up the devil incarnate like Turtleboy Jr. Then you’re fucked.

After watching that video I have one question – what’s the age when dudes decide to stop giving each other “daps” and start shaking hands like men? I haven’t given daps in forever, but it used to be the standard greeting and farewell. When did that change? Did we all come to a consensus at one point? Is it when you got a real job? And how has their never been an awkward situation where one person tries to give daps and the other tries to shake hands like a man?

Anyway, if you’re at the parade tomorrow and you see shenanigans such as this, please feel free to send them our way. Because nothing is more Worcester than the St. Patrick’s Day Parade.





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8 Comment(s)
  • Rich A
    March 11, 2017 at 4:50 pm

    I saw a guy get knocked the fuck out at Leitrim’s a couple years back while the rest of the bar was singing Livin on a Prayer. Good times.

  • XX Chromosome
    March 14, 2016 at 9:32 am

    What does this mean, TB?
    “Until you pop up the devil incarnate like Turtleboy Jr. Then you’re fucked.”

    Does that mean you have an unruly child? Do you think YOUR WIFE should have her tubes tied like the women (in the Leicester article) who in your opinion should have their tubes tied until they learn how to raise a kid? Hmmmm…seems like a double standard to me.

  • Publius
    March 12, 2016 at 11:37 pm

    Scenes like this are reasons why the drinking age should be 18. See you learn how to act or get your butt kicked hard. Nothing like waking up missing a few chiclets to learn how to act at the Blarney, Mahoneys or any old east side bar.

  • Bob
    March 12, 2016 at 9:29 pm

    I’m pretty sure that 25 or 27 is the year when you’re shaking hands and not fighting some random dick lord in a parking lot. I’m in my mid 30s and would probably clock a guy in a parking lot if it came to it, but there is no way I am giving up daps.

  • Tudor turtle
    March 12, 2016 at 8:32 pm

    Anyone going to the parade, remember clocks go ahead one hour tonight.

  • MommaH
    March 12, 2016 at 6:37 pm

    The last time I went to the St. Patrick’s Day parade was a few years ago, this guy asked my daughter how old she was, and asked her if she would watch his kids so he could go in and get a free shot in the bar. Apparently he didn’t know you had to pay a cover charge to get a free shot…I gave him the death stare, and he moved along. I just couldn’t believe he would put his kids lives with strangers just so he could get an alcoholic shot…who tf does shit like that.

    • Ted
      March 13, 2016 at 11:17 am

      Who does shit like that? 3 words: Hopeless Worcester alcoholics.

  • Wabbitt
    March 12, 2016 at 5:19 pm

    I wish I could be there. I’d park my ass right at the Blarney and never even look at the parade. It’s all about watching the drunken lunatics.

    Fuck I need a car, if only for shit like this.

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