This Is Awkward, It’s Almost As If Rian Waters’ Whole Complaint Against His Ex Is Completely Fraudulent And Was Designed To Intimidate Her Into Giving In To His Demands

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Need to catch up? You can catch up with Parts One and Two Here:

Pt 1

Suing To Silence: The Troubling Story of Turtleboy, Rian Waters, And How He Is Using The Courts To Re-victimize A Domestic Violence Survivor, Hurt Us Financially, And Try To Censor Our Speech

Pt 2

Rian Waters May Be The Foulest, Most Narcissistic, Yeast Caked DoucheNozzle To Ever Grace TBS, Doesn’t Understand Defamation, Or How This Felony Arrest Could Affect His Bullshit Claims


Hi guys, I’m still in the middle of exposing Rian Waters, much to his expressed chagrin. We’ve already gone over how he fits the textbook pattern of an abusive narcissistic cumcup with a mustache that in the shared opinion of the staff here at Turtleboy as well as our smart, sexy readers looks like a collection of dirt and pubes. We’ve gone over how he has a real penchant for talking himself up on social media, a poor grasp of the legal definition of “defamation”, and I’ve already hinted at how his whole complaint against his ex looks a lot like perjury aimed at coercing her into allowing him to continue the pattern of control he seems to so desperately need. I’d like to get into that more today.


I’m not going to comment on his suit with Turtleboy, as frankly, I find it irrelevant to the bigger issue at hand. My main qualm was his attempts at strong arming the blog into meeting his outrageous demands, leveled at smearing his accuser and using suit as leverage to get her to “slowly come back into reality” (translated: Bend to my will). But let’s take another look at his claims against the mother of his child and alleged abuse victim:



So, count 32 A-D is something I will get to, but I have to wait the 3-4 weeks on a FOIA request. But I will point out that my FOIA request was put in at the behest of a professional source close to the criminal case, who has indicated that the injuries to the dog were not consistent with Rian’s absolutely sketchball explanation.


Because dogs always knock over big metal cabinets, get up and seem fine til hours later, right around the same time your girlfriend gets a huge black eye.

But I am going to allow Mr. Waters the opportunity to refute some other allegations he himself made right now, with his own words. Let’s start with count 34, (A) “That the plaintiff posts on social media that he was winning tens of thousands of dollars at casinos here there and everywhere.”


So, pubestache, you maintain you weren’t posting on social media that you were winning at casinos here, there, and everywhere? We’re really going with that here?


I don’t play but Uncle Turtleboy does. He assured me that none of what he said is likely true, as a straight flush is the rarest hand in poker, and the odds that you’d have the luck to get someone else at your table with four of a kind is one in a billion. Also, I’m told that if he did actually call hundred dollar hands with 2-7 off suit because he had a “feeling,” and then hit a straight, he would be the biggest asshole ever, which actually might be believable.

Yeah, shitsmear, doesn’t look like you were bragging about winning in casinos from West coast to East coast at all. What’s the basis of the claim here, exactly? That you didn’t make it out to the Riviera, so it’s not “here, there and everywhere?” Or does Facebook suddenly not count as “social media”? Maybe it’s because you suck and didn’t win much at all? Either way, clearly not libel. NEXT!

Surely he must have at least one claim with merit, right? How about (b), “That the plantiff left the country”.?

Definitely doesn’t sound like an interaction say, a drug dealer would have, either. Especially considering (c) “That there was a 2 day manhunt for him in New York.”

Well, that’s awkward. It’s almost as if Rian filed this “stupid lawsuit”

Just to force his ex into giving him control, and a free pass on unpaid child support.


And then there’s (d) “That the plaintiff is a psycho” 

^^See Above.

I rest my motherfucking case.

Stay tuned – next we are going to debunk Rian’s insane “loss of consortium” claims, because the mother of his child has backing on her refusal to allow him unsupervised visits, and Rian has been refusing the play by the rules all over the place.

We’ll also be tackling his insane claims of “damages suffered”, and how easy they are to disprove with just the internet, some basic public searches, and common sense.

Til next time, guys! And for the love of all things good and holy, please remember,

Don’t. Poke. The. Turtle.

(And don’t poke Bristol, she bites.)

8 Comment(s)
  • WMassDisbarredEsq
    January 8, 2019 at 7:42 pm

    Just FYI she (the e. GF) should counter claim using the MA invasion of privacy statute. His posting “she is diagnosed w bipolar…” is a clear cut violation.

  • Mykal Rainstorm
    January 8, 2019 at 4:51 pm

    Is there anyone else who is completely tired of hearing about this dirt bag’s delusions of grandeur going on and on like he’s some sort of poker playing genius?

  • He Lies
    January 8, 2019 at 3:54 pm

    Just because you lay down $3k on a bedspread with the backs of folded up novelty casino T-shirts in the pic it doesn’t mean won it..

    Myself I don’t gamble but my wife, her sister and a couple friends go about once a month.

    There is a very strict rule in EVERY casino that you can’t take cell phone pics or use your phone at a table. This little prick should be banned from all casinos.

  • Tippy Martinez
    January 8, 2019 at 2:59 pm

    This turd is far more interesting, and insane, than Maude. Thanks TB.

  • Turdchomper
    January 8, 2019 at 1:15 pm

    This choad slurper is the gift that keeps on giving.

  • Stunt Penis
    January 8, 2019 at 12:55 pm

    Has anyone checked into the rumor it was really Rian Waters who was babysitting the Mayo family’s dog?

  • The Vorlon
    Kosh Naranek
    January 8, 2019 at 11:57 am

    Rian looks like he owns a boat with the name “Chicken Pox”.

  • Y
    January 8, 2019 at 11:18 am

    Mother Fuck this H-Mo, Rian, and Mother Fuck Randallllll Gay as well.

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