This Is What “Real News” With “Real Editors” Looks Like
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Notice anything strange on the front page of the Turtlegram and Gazette today?
This is what “real news” looks like. It’s not even a Turtlegram story. Just like 99% of the shit in their overpriced pile of kindling they call a newspaper, this story is something they paid the AP to put on their front page. It’s what happens when a boy on a turtle is putting you out of business so you can’t afford to have people write stories for you. It’s why they send us cease and desist letters all the time, whining about us stealing their content. Because they know they are dying, and they know Turtleboy is the one murdering them in cold blood.
The best part is that the ONLY job of the Turtlegram was to put a title on this story. That’s it. The AP did all the hard work writing and publishing the story. And somehow Karen Webber and her idiot friends at the Turtlegram managed to screw it up. So yea, next time you hear someone say, “Turtleboy isn’t real news because their spelling and grammar sucks,” just remind them that “all-time iow” isn’t a thing.
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