Mainstream Media Fails

This Is What “Real News” With “Real Editors” Looks Like

This Is What “Real News” With “Real Editors” Looks Like

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Notice anything strange on the front page of the Turtlegram and Gazette today?

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This is what “real news” looks like. It’s not even a Turtlegram story. Just like 99% of the shit in their overpriced pile of kindling they call a newspaper, this story is something they paid the AP to put on their front page. It’s what happens when a boy on a turtle is putting you out of business so you can’t afford to have people write stories for you. It’s why they send us cease and desist letters all the time, whining about us stealing their content. Because they know they are dying, and they know Turtleboy is the one murdering them in cold blood.

The best part is that the ONLY job of the Turtlegram was to put a title on this story. That’s it. The AP did all the hard work writing and publishing the story. And somehow Karen Webber and her idiot friends at the Turtlegram managed to screw it up. So yea, next time you hear someone say, “Turtleboy isn’t real news because their spelling and grammar sucks,” just remind them that “all-time iow” isn’t a thing.



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21 Comment(s)
  • Publius
    April 14, 2017 at 10:15 am

    TBS getting stale as well. The occasional guttermuppet post funny but now it is tedious.

    • juror seven esq.
      April 15, 2017 at 1:24 pm

      So has anyone bothered to see if the T&G printed a correction to the error? They, at one time wanted to know when they fucked up.

  • Buggy Whip
    April 14, 2017 at 6:10 am

    Telegram’s a vanity project at this point, with the amount of money they are losing weekly. Question is, how much longer can they bleed this money and stay in business?

  • Lola Bunny
    April 13, 2017 at 11:19 pm

    Ok it’s pretty funny. But then again Turtle Boy come on, you are notorious for spelling and grammar mistakes. Just sayin 🙂

  • Enlightened
    April 13, 2017 at 8:48 pm

    How come my edition has an l and not an i?

    • Realist
      April 13, 2017 at 10:29 pm

      Because it was a printing error, Which makes this story forgettable!

  • Linda
    April 13, 2017 at 3:33 pm

    Yes that is bad and only one of many “typos” you’d find in that rag daily.
    Also, I think that all time should be hyphenated, all-time low so it may be butchered that way as well.
    BUT the bigger story is that they put “all time iow” in quotes like it’s an “implied” all time iow.

    It’s how they twist things to deceive readers who aren’t really even paying attention anyway.
    Is it really an all time low?
    Could it be an all time low?
    Is it only sort of an all time low?

    • Linda
      April 13, 2017 at 3:35 pm

      damn it, all time should NOT be hyphenated, not should be. I wish TB would add an edit button. Grrrr

    • Bob
      April 13, 2017 at 10:14 pm

      Yeah you don’t know how quotation marks work.

  • Wwy
    April 13, 2017 at 1:41 pm

    You’ll always be better than the Jew news. They didn’t even write we committed another war crime but fuck it the heroin from Afghanistan everyone is dying from is cool to see,kikes first.

    • Turd-Slinger
      April 13, 2017 at 2:31 pm

      You know what, chode-bro? I have a sneaking suspicion you’re a liberal a$$-clown disguising yourself as a caricature of an alt-right commenter…like those PETA people who murder squirrels and then say they caught someone else doing it.

      • True Reality Speaks
        True Reality Speaks
        April 13, 2017 at 8:04 pm

        Turd-Slinger, meet Clive McFarlane ^^^.

      • Turd-Slinger
        April 13, 2017 at 9:20 pm

        Come on, WWY, you anti-Semitic sack of weasel piss. I called your rank Cheeto-gorging online tough guy ass out, and I want full satisfaction. Bring it, and come at me brah.

    • Timothy Bizznelli
      April 13, 2017 at 9:39 pm

      Yeah, you homo, rat bastard, left winged, tree hugging hippie asshat. Step up to the plate, dawg, come on son. You feeling froggy son, then JUMP. Damn racist POS clogging the comment section. Why don’t you do the whole word a favor and find the closet bridge to your dumpster and take a backwards leap off, shitstick.

      • Turd-Slinger
        April 14, 2017 at 9:08 am

        Cat got your tongue, you little Nazi SOB? Come out and fight like a man – or a b****, really.

  • SmuffleZone
    April 13, 2017 at 1:14 pm

    Maybe it’s like that dress that was whatever color, but it looks to me like it says “ali-time iow”. Even less of a thing.

  • Hohum
    April 13, 2017 at 12:59 pm

    A bit of a stretch. Nice try though. It’s a miss-print, more a QC thing at the print room level. It’s obviously an l based on comparison to the l (which just about has the same thin white line going through it) and the i in close proximity to it. Wasting your time on crap like this, though entertaining (momentarily) does not help in elevating you above the turtlegram.

    • Realist
      April 13, 2017 at 3:22 pm

      How dare you! You either graze with the herd, Or go it alone! There is no room for objection here!

      • True Reality Speaks
        Tired of Don't Snitch Pussies
        April 13, 2017 at 8:01 pm

        Says a projecting liberal with no shame or self-awareness. Keep living in your fake news, alternate universe, “Realist”. lol

        • Realist
          April 13, 2017 at 10:13 pm

          Projecting Liberal? No, Realist! No grazing for me! I prefer to set the pace and not follow, unlike most here! You showed your hand with the ” Fake News” bullshit, You’re a lemming!

  • President Matt
    President Matt
    April 13, 2017 at 12:45 pm

    I’m looking forward to the day they put “TURTLEBOY SPORTS” up in big letters at the top of 100 Front street.
    The T&G can’t fail fast or hard enough.

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