This Red Sox-Yankees Fan Brawl Restored My Faith That Yankees Fans Are Still World Class Dooshnozzles

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The Boston Red Sox-New York Yankees rivalry is the best in sports when both teams are relevant. For years as Red Sox fans our lone comeback to “27 brings bro” has been “Yankees suck.” The problem with this comeback is that it’s just not factual and can easily be trumped by the “27 rings bro” argument. But it’s pretty much official now – the Yankees do in fact suck. Real bad too.

It’s hard to have a rivalry when one team is the World Series Champs one year and the the cellar dweller the next (Red Sox) while the other team just plain sucks. Ten years ago every Red Sox-Yankees game was an event. Tickets were at a premium. Every game sold out. But now the most exciting game played in Yankees Stadium is when Rutgers plays Northwestern in the Pinstripe Bowl.

Where did all the beautiful, magnificent hate go to? Well, luckily during the Red Sox-Yankees recent 19 inning marathon (in which the good guys won), a good ol’ fashioned Boston doosnozzles vs. New York nudniks rowdy-down transpired in the nosebleeds:


I’m relieved to see the hatred is still there. I mean look at these fuckers:

Screen Shot 2015-04-14 at 10.55.58 AM Screen Shot 2015-04-14 at 11.16.03 AM Screen Shot 2015-04-14 at 11.16.48 AM Screen Shot 2015-04-14 at 11.17.12 AM Screen Shot 2015-04-14 at 11.17.43 AM Screen Shot 2015-04-14 at 11.18.04 AM Screen Shot 2015-04-14 at 11.24.16 AM

Such beautiful, glorious hate.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – the Yankees have a better crowd than us. Not to say they have better fans, but the people who go to Yankees games are much more passionate about their team than the frauds who invade Fenway Park with their pink hats.

When Red Sox fans go to Yankees Stadium, you’re basically getting dressed for war. It’s the closest thing we have to Buffalo in MLB. And you know what? It’s fucking awesome. I love wearing my Red Sox gear as I walk through a parade of tacos being reigned down upon me by some Stanleys from Patterson, NJ.

And try to get a beer at Yankees Stadium while you’re wearing a Red Sox jersey. I was literally told that they were “sold out” in the second inning. Ya got that? The whole stadium was out of beer. After returning to my seats empty handed I was reminded by my dooshnozzle friends that I’d never be served in that jersey. So I took it off and was quickly given two tasty Bronx brews. That would NEVER happen at Fenway because they just want your money in Boston.

Meanwhile when you go to Fenway for the most part Yankees fans are free to take a mighty Tri-State dump on our pride by wearing their filthy Yankees gear in our stadium. And no one swears at them or calls them assholes because everyone brought their kids to the game. We need to have designated areas of the park for families and other areas for savages. If you bring your kids to the savage area of the park, that’s on you for being a crappy parent.

I’ve been to Fenway five million times and every time I go I hate it even more. If you’re not sitting behind some load bearing green pole you’re sitting in a seat angled in the wrong direction that was built for people in 1900 before trans-fat was invented.

And every dumbass with a pink hat goes there to sing Sweet Caroline. There is nothing faker than a fan who sings Sweet Caroline – a song that has nothing to do with the Red Sox or Boston. It’s a song that John Henry realized would get women to buy shit. They play that song even if the Red Sox are down 18-1 in the 8th inning. And they play it that late so that morons will stick around.

You know what they say in that song? “Good times never felt so good – so good, so good, so good.”  If you’re a Red Sox fan, and you feel “so good” when your team is losing 18-1, you need to go ahead and find a fake team like Tampa Bay to root for. If you sing Sweet Caroline, then you’re part of the problem and you are a fraud.

Here’s a better idea, play this song instead:

Either way, I’m glad to see the hatred is still there with real Red Sox and Yankees fans.

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10 Comment(s)
  • Yes
    April 15, 2015 at 12:44 pm

    Typical NE area fans, patting themselves on the back for showing up when the team is decent, nowhere to be found when they suck. LOL.

  • karl atkins
    April 15, 2015 at 5:49 am

    wait did you just say we need a designated area for savages! instant fucking classic!

  • karl atkins
    April 15, 2015 at 5:46 am

    thank you for putting in to words how i feel about sweet caroline

  • RSoxGuy
    April 14, 2015 at 7:41 pm

    Yankees fans…….. ick

  • Larry Mondello
    April 14, 2015 at 6:35 pm

    I am a Red Sox fan. The hard core Sox fans are as good as they come but there’s too much of that pink hat, yuppie happy face bullshit. Sad to say but Yankee fans are no. 1. Sox are no. 2. Third place is Philly. Passionate but overly loud and often stupid.

  • Devils Mouthpiece
    April 14, 2015 at 3:56 pm

    I know. cliche, but “YANKEES SUCK” almost as much as their fans!!!!

  • Maggie the Cat
    April 14, 2015 at 1:49 pm

    I never sing “Sweet Caroline” and I haven’t sung it for years. Long before Neil Diamond confirmed that he’d written it about Caroline Kennedy I had my suspicions about the song. I will never sing a song that praises any member of the Kennedy family.

    The Red Sox would be better off playing “Charlie on the MTA” by the Kingston Trio or “Dirty Water” by the Standells. Those songs are actually about Boston.

    And remember that long ago Broadway musical “Damn Yankees”? The premise was that the Yankees had sold their souls to the devil in order to win so many World Series. Nobody ever accused the Red Sox of being in league with the devil!

    • Nick
      April 14, 2015 at 4:14 pm

      Sweet blog bro

  • JoeMomma
    April 14, 2015 at 12:34 pm

    Have the Spankmee’s moved to New Jersey yet?

  • Finnish Goalie
    April 14, 2015 at 11:53 am

    The Stanley Cup playoffs end in June. I’ll look to the stick ball standings then.

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