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This Video Of Hansel And Grundle Taking A Steamy Dump In An Abandoned Fitchburg Triple Decker Parking Lot Is Exactly What I Think Of When Someone Mentions Fitchburg

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Last week a viral video was going around Fitchburg of some subhuman mongoloid murdering a turtle on Facebook. However, it overshadowed a much more hilarious video out of the burg of two of Fitchburg’s finest taking a huge dump in the middle of an abandoned parking lot. And of course the commentary is so Fitchburg it hurts:

Shit’s going down!! That is the most Fitchburg thing I’v ever seen. The boarded up windows. The empty parking lot of broken dreams overflowing with weeds. I also love how they put the Fitchburg filter onto the video. It’s like a tourism video about what will happen if you buy property in the burg:

My question is, what was the other guy doing? Because it appears as if he was watching his partner in meth evacuate the brownie batter. I’ve never been homeless, so maybe this is just how it works. You watch your friends defecate because….Fitchburg.

Look, I understand the homeless have to drop their mocha munchkins off somewhere. But there’s plenty of woods in the burg. Just take a trip up towards the high school or Ashburnham Road. You’ll have no idea you’re still in the city. You can poop pretty much wherever you want.

Then again, when this is what your city looks like driving through it:





Don’t be surprised when people randomly start pooping everywhere. The whole city’s gone to shit anyway.

Anyone know who these two winners are? Send us an email or message on Facebook or Twitter if you do!

16 Comment(s)
  • Jennepha
    July 10, 2018 at 3:08 pm

    They may be in the burg but they look like they are from Garnder-Hey!
    And Yes, there are bad areas of Fitchburg, however there are some really nice areas too! Hope these “partners in meth” (good one btw) take their business else where!

    • You don't say..
      July 10, 2018 at 5:58 pm

      I park my high performance Yugo Sport Sedan in a nice area of Fitchburg after enjoying a gourmet meal at Burger King.

  • WeAreFucked
    July 10, 2018 at 8:00 am

    Yup… someone is going to see this who is actually the offspring created by either of these idiots. That is the problem in this country. People like this multiply fast. The uneducated. The poor. The weak. The mentally ill. Increasing the population faster than the rest of us. These two idiots have 4 kids, who have 4 kids, who have 4 kids. All the while not a single generation has a person who becomes a productive member of society. Twenty five years from now, 14 people will be shitting in that same vacant lot. Unless I live to be 105, I’ll have to miss that blog. Bummer.

  • Apu
    July 10, 2018 at 7:23 am

    It’s the appropriation of Indian culture, and they should be ashamed! I don’t see any red dots, sari’s, or curry chicken. They need to be outed for their non-pc sidewalk shitting!

  • SMH
    July 9, 2018 at 10:34 pm

    At least some dog owners use plastic bags to pick up after their dogs. Feral dogs not.

  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    July 9, 2018 at 8:24 pm

    Public defecation should be dealt with by execution on sight.

    Shit here once, problem solved! Lots of woods to bury the ratchet corpses in!

    How it should be. But, alas,

    bleeding hearts. Every ratchet’s best friend.

    • Charlie Baker
      July 10, 2018 at 5:35 am

      If only there was a way to burn the bodies to create electricity, would that be considered renewable green energy?

  • The angry taint
    The angry taint
    July 9, 2018 at 8:08 pm

    Damn the burg is far more ratchet than I ever could of dreamed……again gold Jerry! Gold!

  • NextBatchOfMassTroopers
    July 9, 2018 at 8:00 pm

    Did I just watch the birth of Leigha Genduso the 2nd

  • Clitty Litter
    July 9, 2018 at 7:26 pm

    Damn man! There’s got to be a Starbucks in the ‘burg.
    Find it!

  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    July 9, 2018 at 7:03 pm

    Brought to you by three things

    Outsourcing of industry
    War on Drugs

    Get rid of all 3, and watch Darwinism take it’s course!

    We law abiding, working people may have to ante up at first for bucket loaders to scoop up and dispose of the many ratchet corpses, but once they are all buried in nondescript barren fields, we can get on with building civilization while remembering the failed social policies of our ancestors.
    Bring industry back here.
    Make all drugs legal; if if there is an OD, bury him or her.
    Remove welfare for all but the truly handicapped and veterans.

    Then watch things improve dramatically.

    Pretty simple, really.

    • Hughbo Mont
      July 10, 2018 at 1:44 pm

      I ‘d like to turn Puerto Rico into a penal colony. Put a wall around San Juan and let tourism support the colony.

      • Sell PR for 99 Cents
        July 10, 2018 at 5:54 pm

        If we cut off air travel and boat travel to and from Puerto Rico the population would quickly regress to subsistence cannibalism and worship lightning and smoke dog turds.

  • Eugenics
    July 9, 2018 at 6:22 pm

    Ohhhh but their homeless!!!

    If these young men only had a stable environment with nutritious food and job skill training access to medical care and a nurturing… They would still be shitting in parking lots and filming it and strung out on drugs. It’s what they do and their dam good at it!

    • Linda
      July 10, 2018 at 9:16 pm

      They’re …both times.

  • Uncle Mike
    July 9, 2018 at 4:17 pm


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