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Last week a viral video was going around Fitchburg of some subhuman mongoloid murdering a turtle on Facebook. However, it overshadowed a much more hilarious video out of the burg of two of Fitchburg’s finest taking a huge dump in the middle of an abandoned parking lot. And of course the commentary is so Fitchburg it hurts:
Shit’s going down!! That is the most Fitchburg thing I’v ever seen. The boarded up windows. The empty parking lot of broken dreams overflowing with weeds. I also love how they put the Fitchburg filter onto the video. It’s like a tourism video about what will happen if you buy property in the burg:
My question is, what was the other guy doing? Because it appears as if he was watching his partner in meth evacuate the brownie batter. I’ve never been homeless, so maybe this is just how it works. You watch your friends defecate because….Fitchburg.
Look, I understand the homeless have to drop their mocha munchkins off somewhere. But there’s plenty of woods in the burg. Just take a trip up towards the high school or Ashburnham Road. You’ll have no idea you’re still in the city. You can poop pretty much wherever you want.
Then again, when this is what your city looks like driving through it:
Don’t be surprised when people randomly start pooping everywhere. The whole city’s gone to shit anyway.
Anyone know who these two winners are? Send us an email or message on Facebook or Twitter if you do!