Mainstream Media Fails

This Week Has Proven That Turtleboy Owns The Worcester Media And Everything They Do Is A Joke

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Turtleboy owns the media. Turtleboy owns Worcester. This has never been more clear than it has this week. The Telegram, Masslive, and Worcester Magazine all tried contacting us today asking about this hilarious lawsuit from Ol’ Man Gordon Davis. We returned no one’s calls or emails because they are all beneath us. Maybe if the New York Times or the Boston Globe called we’d consider giving them a quote. But to be honest, the local media is too small time. They’re a joke and we’ve out grown them. They’re using us for page views and a quote from Turtleboy is gonna cost them from now on. No more free quotes.


As a matter of fact we’ve developed a new policy – our employees are only allowed to speak with Patrick Sargent at the Worcester Sun. No one else. If the other reporters wanna find out the real story then go talk to Pat because he’s the only journalist in this town who actually does his job. Plus the Worcester Sun is a start up that is run by good people who have left the Telegram and Gazette because it’s a fake newspaper.

Anyway, has there ever been a week in history that has proven how smalltime the Worcester media really is? Think of what has dominated the news this week – a Goddamn FACEBOOK post from a count that was alleged to be Michael Gaffney’s. We talking bout FACEBOOK!!! We’re not talking about city policy, or taxes, or schools, or the superintendent search. We talkin bout FACEBOOK!!!


I mean, they were all so, so desperate this week for clicks. It was kind of sad really. First you had Samantha Allen writing her usual garbage about Gaffneygate. She could have interviewed anyone she wanted for this, but who were the three people she chose to call up? Sarai Rivera, Dicky Rushton, and “Reverend” Aaron Payson. Three people who all hate Mike Gaffney with a burning passion. She could’ve asked someone like Tony Economou or Kate Toomey, who is more middle of the road and doesnt stir the pot. But she wanted drama, so she went for the people who all have been humiliated by Gaffney in the past calendar year. This is what journalism looks like at the Telegram.

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Now keep in mind, Sam is from North Andover and this is her first real job. The Telegram hired her because veteran reporters like Scott Croteau and Thomas Caywood had the audacity to want a cost of living raise after 20 years of service. Since Karen Webber and the dolts who run the Telegram don’t care about quality reporters, they let them walk and replaced them with some poor girl who would work for half the salary and not whine about it.

Then there’s the mere fact that the Telegram and Gazette is even writing about this to begin with. After all, Karen Webber rejected Brad Petrishan and Dianne Williamson’s columns because they wanted to reference this post from Mosaic CEO Brenda Jenkins’ son:

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There were two big reasons they couldn’t reference this relevant post. First off, Karen Webber’s policy is that Facebook posts can’t be verified so they don’t count as sources. Secondly, Karen Webber doesn’t consider Turtleboy Sports a valid source.

OK. That’s fine. Let the butthurt flow. But then how EMASCULATING is it for them to turn around and BEG Turtleboy for a quote the second Gaffneygate and the Gordon Davis lawsuit hit? Do you understand how many times they tried contacting us?? It was insane!! Oh you want one of us to email you back? Nah. We don’t give free quotes to fake newspapers that emasculate themselves.


They weren’t done though. First Dianne Williamson wanted to get some cheap page views, so she wrote about the Gaffney Facebook post, even though her bosses rejected her previous column that included the Boo Shameek post. LOL. No self respect for poor Dianne. I mean, they slapped you in the face and you just came back and asked for more. Not a good look.

Then today Spanky wanted some clicks, so he wrote about Turtleboy and nearly lost his Goddamn mind!!! Because right now the ONLY things that matter in Worcester are Mike Gaffney’s Facebook post and all things Turtleboy. This is what your “real journalists” consider news.

But how come the Telegram hasn’t reported about these posts from Sarai and Joe Petty?

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Oh that’s right, they’ve randomly determined that these are not the real Petty and Rivera pages, even though they match up exactly with their profile pictures and names. SPOILER ALERT: Dianne Williamson’s column tomorrow is gonna blame TURTLEBOY for making these accounts!! I shit you not. Turtleboy did it!! Turtleboy ALWAYS does it!!! Everything in this town is our fault because we literally own Dianne and every other member of the media’s brain. They know it. We know it. You know it. You can hate us all you want but we have a MONOPOLY on the media in Worcester County. There are people reading this right now who came here JUST because they hate us. But they still came, and they’ll come again tomorrow and the day after that.

Tattoos Massachusetts

So what’s the Turtlegram been reporting on besides Gaffneygate? So glad you asked. The Turtlegram has announced a new feature called “Point-counterpoint” in which a disgraced, bumbling former City Councilor who once wasted $20K on a recount that he lost by over 100 votes, argues with some old lady:

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Sweet baby Jesus. Say it ain’t so!!! This is the most hilarious thing these eyes have ever seen. Dicky freaking Rushton ladies and gentlemen. A man who cannot put a complete sentence together:

And the Turtlegram is treating him like he’s some sort of elder statesmen. Like he’s George freaking Stephanopoulos, or Mike Ditka, sitting in the booth sharing his years of wisdom. Pray for the Turtlegram.

Then you’ve got Masslive, which at least has the courtesy to respond to your criticisms on Facebook, justifying their 24/7 coverage of Gaffneygate because people were talking about it on social media:

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Hey Noah, I saw a bunch of women on my Facebook roster sharing a recipe for buffalo chicken dip that they found on Pinterest. You gonna report on that too? Hot takes!!! Literally!!!

Honestly, I love it. Like I said earlier, Dianne Williamson is going to betray our alliance tomorrow and publish a story making up LIES that Turtleboy Sports was responsible for those “fake” profiles while insisting that Gaffney was behind the fake profile pretending to be him. And she knows it’s a lie too because she asked us about it and we proved to her that it wasn’t us. Those screenshots were sent to us by a couple turtle riders. We never actually saw them in real life because the profiles were taken down so quickly. We showed Dianne screenshots of people sending the screenshots but she wasn’t trying to hear it. Ya know, because it proved the truth. And her employer is a smut magazine that whores itself out for clicks. They have no interest in the truth. They just wanna write about the Turtle because they’re using us.  She knows it’s not real and she’s having it printed anyway. So much for our alliance. Thought you were our girl Dianne!!

Meanwhile we are actively looking for a new superintendent, but that won’t be mentioned at all.

Anyway, like our boy Orange Julius Jones once said, Turtleboy runs this city:

Embrace it folks, because we ain’t going ANYWHERE!!! Love or hate us, you will always ride with us!!



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Tattoos Massachusetts

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25 Comment(s)
  • Realist
    April 11, 2016 at 8:13 pm

    The only problem I see here is that it actually was Gaffney’s post from Facebook, which was taken down quickly because of the obvious. All of the other Facebook accounts were created to distract and detour, Politics 101.

  • Paul
    February 25, 2016 at 4:13 pm

    Probably less than 50 percent of the time agree with tb politics but this is the only place to go for local news . Telegram is beyond a joke. Don’t know one person under 40 that reads that garbage .Work with all dudes from clinton, fitchburg and leominster . Every morning all u see is Heralds. Can’t remember the last time I saw a t&g.. how are they still around ?

  • Rod Munch
    February 25, 2016 at 12:54 pm

    Gaffney supposedly posts something on Facebook the chronically offended don’t like… It’s a story.

    Anything else on Facebook is off limits.


  • Jed
    February 25, 2016 at 12:31 pm

    Turtleboy Sports is becoming a big success for the same reason Donald Trump is gaining traction. People are sick and tired of being lied to and misled. They no longer care if someone is offensive as long as they tell it like it is.

    • Rational person
      February 25, 2016 at 3:30 pm

      Well, I don’t think I’d want Turtleboy to be our president. But I get what you’re saying.

  • Rational person
    February 25, 2016 at 12:09 pm

    Since Clive won’t do it, maybe Dianne can put together a column explaining just what Mosaic does/has done for the Worcester community…

  • Sullivan
    February 25, 2016 at 10:38 am

    It absolutely blows my mind how fucking stupid people are. I just wanna get this straight, a post from Gaffney on a private page in a private conversation, that we know he was a part of moments earlier proves nothing, but a screenshot of people sending you the Sarai and Petty stuff proves you didn’t do it. You can make a profile, post stuff, and then people can send you screen shots of the stuff you posted. I never read this blog until this week, and the only reason I have is because this story pertains to a friend of mine. All I have learned is that the amount of stupid in Worcester is truly frieghtening. I’m an astonished

  • Publius
    February 25, 2016 at 9:46 am

    Is the poster who calls himself “lynch”: nuts ? is this the same weirdo that claimed to pee on the love statue ?

  • Adam
    February 25, 2016 at 9:45 am

    It’s got to be heart-breaking to go through 4 (or maybe 6) years of school, get degrees that say Journalism or some variation, and get much less readership than a group of people blogging at their kitchen tables, drinking beers, and counting advertising money with Dorito-stained fingers. That is how I picture a TB blog writing session anyway. They don’t even use spell check, and that shit is free. That has to SUCK.

    We don’t always agree but this is the first and only spot I go to anymore for Worcester news. Keep riding TB.

    • Wabbitt
      February 25, 2016 at 4:57 pm

      I would imagine that many blogs are written sans pants, as well.

  • toomey
    February 25, 2016 at 8:56 am


  • TargetPractice
    February 25, 2016 at 7:37 am

    That lonely cat lady Williamson really screwed up this time. She was the only one at that rag of a paper who you could count on to at least make some sense 20% of the time. But now they need to stick her in the middle of that POS where the lady who tells housewife stories about folding her family’s laundry.

  • Just Nick
    February 25, 2016 at 5:15 am

    C’mon, don’t tell me Turtleboy is that naive to think he had an alliance with Dianne Williamson. Williamson only cares about Williamson and don’t let her fool you otherwise.

  • Dgaf
    February 25, 2016 at 3:55 am

    Lol well Kevin lynch needs to stop reading tb and get back on medication.

    I love turtleboy. Every other news page or paper writes about fluff and garbage. Tb has all the juice and they can’t stand it.

  • Kevin Lynch
    February 25, 2016 at 2:40 am

    Lmao, Turtleboy caught AGAIN. And yes Turtleturd, I will even state that Matti Moe wrote the petty skit. But the most comical part of it all is that he would have to come clean. LMAO……..

    Him, Bret and his cronies made up the fake sites that you posted about the other two on turtleturd site. LMAO.

    I see that you fully depend on storify for your news stories. LMAO.

    You use Spotify to steal stories from the Telegram. Too funny. Lmao.

    Turtleboy FRAUDS!!!!!!!! As I stated you are all double talkers stating to everyone, “Do as I say not as I do.”

    Class act turtleturd circus is all about. Exposing the Turtle. Time to remove your sheet Turtleboy KKK not LLC. Lmao.


    • Just Nick
      February 25, 2016 at 5:17 am

      on my trolling awful early there Lynch, aren’t you? Stop drinking, go to bed and when you wake up call CVS and have them renew your meds.

    • Noodly Appendage
      February 25, 2016 at 5:20 am

      We know you made these sites kevy wevy. All one has to do is go to facebook and subpoena facebooks records complete with IP addresses and bobs your uncle.

    • Finnish Goalie
      February 25, 2016 at 6:17 am

      You sir, are no Spurts.

      • Rational person
        February 25, 2016 at 12:06 pm


    • JoeMomma
      February 25, 2016 at 9:24 am

      Anybody out there speak Moron? I need this translated into English.

    • Wabbitt
      February 25, 2016 at 4:35 pm

      Spotify? The online music streaming service? I didn’t know they had a local news division.

      Also, if it were Brett, Matt, and others of their ilk making the fake profiles – none of them work for Turtleboy. They’re just fans of the blog. Blaming TB for their actions is akin to blaming Howard Stern every time one of his fans calls CNN and screams Baba Booey.

  • Wwy
    February 25, 2016 at 1:25 am

    Oh and can they teach these kids how to get dressed,walking around with your boxers. Pants should be worn normal not like a gay hooker. Then they want a job no one is going to hire someone who struggles dressing themselves. So parents have to teach kids how to dress with proper hygiene,your ass hanging out is a little sick and very poor hygiene I feel bad for chairs and couches.

  • Wwy
    February 25, 2016 at 1:18 am

    We need TB, nobody reads Clive,just because blacks realized their lives matter. Let’s hope the 85% of black fathers realize their children’s life matters,their “babies mama” matters,Obama is bi-racial does he matter or is it the pigment. If blacks weren’t so uneducated by their parent(s),the parent to prison pipeline will continue. If you can’t teach your child to function in school then it’s the parents,ALL children are innocent until the parent blames someone else for their failures.

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